Today I'm Grateful for: an end to it all.
I am ending this blog now. It has accomplished what I needed it to do. I worked out that I am actually a very grateful person, and that I do appreciate everything the Universe sends my way (except maybe the pain, lol) and so I don't need to do a gratitude journal to remind myself that there are wonderful things in life. I already know that. I already know that everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. The blog has helped me to differentiate between what I thought was wrong with my life to what is actually wrong with my life. To whit... nothing. I am a reasonably happy person with a lot of wonderful people in my life. I wouldn't change my family, I wouldn't change my friends, I wouldn't change the home I live in. I would change my health, and my family's health, I would change the fact that I procrastinate and don't make the changes in my life to accomplish what I need to make me feel fulfilled. ie: why don't I just write the damn book, instead of always wondering what someone else will think about it? I should write it just for me, then if anyone likes it, fantastic, if not, oh well. So there you go, the blog has accomplished all it needed to and now it's time to move on and do something else, something more productive I hope.
So take care of yourselves, remember to thank the Universe everyday for all the gifts in your life, and be happy with what you have.
Kisses for always
Julie
Monday, August 1, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Day 138 - New Magazines and Happiness
Today I'm Grateful for:- New Magazines and Happiness
Hubby and I popped into the shops today to pick up bread and coke. We came out of the shops with 2 loaves of bread, 3 litres of coke, apple juice, chicken duets for dinner, 2 new leather bound journals, 2 lottery tickets, 2 gel pens, and six new magazines... Not exactly what we set out to get, but I have to say, the chicken duets were yummy, the journals will come in handy for Jam and I for our new studies, we may be multi-millionaires tomorrow night and those new mags rock!
The magazines are quite different to the usual Take 5 (which I still love) or New Idea (that I don't get anymore), in fact, there was a computer mag, a diabetes mag, with a bonus recipe book, 3 pack of scrapbooking for beginners and a writers mag. Already I feel validated as a writer, lol. The diabetes magazine is full of great ideas and handy information.
What a great way to end the afternoon. Hubby says we are going out to lunch tomorrow. Life is just going along swimmingly at the moment. If it wasn't for the pain levels actually being quite high, it would be just about perfect.
Maybe tomorrow we can go see Eldest, Son in Law and Bubba. We have tried to give them lots of privacy to get used to being a family, but I really want to see them.
"Happiness isn't a permanent state, but rather a series of moments that need to be seized, acknowledged and fully enjoyed."
Kisses
Julie
Hubby and I popped into the shops today to pick up bread and coke. We came out of the shops with 2 loaves of bread, 3 litres of coke, apple juice, chicken duets for dinner, 2 new leather bound journals, 2 lottery tickets, 2 gel pens, and six new magazines... Not exactly what we set out to get, but I have to say, the chicken duets were yummy, the journals will come in handy for Jam and I for our new studies, we may be multi-millionaires tomorrow night and those new mags rock!
The magazines are quite different to the usual Take 5 (which I still love) or New Idea (that I don't get anymore), in fact, there was a computer mag, a diabetes mag, with a bonus recipe book, 3 pack of scrapbooking for beginners and a writers mag. Already I feel validated as a writer, lol. The diabetes magazine is full of great ideas and handy information.
What a great way to end the afternoon. Hubby says we are going out to lunch tomorrow. Life is just going along swimmingly at the moment. If it wasn't for the pain levels actually being quite high, it would be just about perfect.
Maybe tomorrow we can go see Eldest, Son in Law and Bubba. We have tried to give them lots of privacy to get used to being a family, but I really want to see them.
"Happiness isn't a permanent state, but rather a series of moments that need to be seized, acknowledged and fully enjoyed."
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Days 127 - 137 - So Many Things
Today I'm Grateful for: So Many Things
It has been 10 days since my last confession...ooops, I mean blog...lol. I know it has been a long time, but honest, this time I think you will totally understand why I got sidetracked.
Ok, so I am grateful that I am now a Grandmother!!! It wasn't all peaches and cream though, with it being touch and go for awhile with my girl, but she is ok now (getting better anyhow) and the baby (we shall still call him Bubba for the purposes of this blog) is really well and healthy and totally beautiful. I am so grateful that Lizzie made it through ok, I really don't know what I would do without her, and I hated the thought of having to do that... Such a huge thing to be grateful about. And Bubba is awesome, it's like he has been part of our lives forever. :)
Jam has not only become a doting Aunty, but also completed her Diploma in Community Services, did full time work placement for 10 weeks, got a part time job from her work placement, all the time still managing her FMS. Not to mention still helping Lizzie and me while we are dealing with our FMS as well (makes things like pregnancy and arthritis even worse). She has been awesome.
I am just so proud of both my girls, for sticking with it, pushing through the pain, boredom and sometimes making hard choices, all with grace and good humour. I have said it before, and I will no doubt say it again, but I am very blessed to have these two amazing young women in my life.
Hubby is stoked about being a Grandfather, he wants to be called Poppy, its so cute. He hasn't been able to hold Bubba yet because he has had an awful 'flu virus. When we went to see them in hospital, he had to wear a surgical mask... but the smile on Eldest's face was awesome... During the past few weeks, he has finished the draft of his first eBook! So proud of him, he is well on the way to completing one of his goals for this year... All the while, coming out to me, to ensure I am ok, if I need anything or if I need him to keep me company. This is the first time he has done this kind of thing in many many years. It's lovely.
I have also begun on my new studies, not making much progress, but still, I have begun!
I am really the luckiest woman on the planet aren't I? I am so Grateful for that!
See you next time...
Kisses
Julie
It has been 10 days since my last confession...ooops, I mean blog...lol. I know it has been a long time, but honest, this time I think you will totally understand why I got sidetracked.
Ok, so I am grateful that I am now a Grandmother!!! It wasn't all peaches and cream though, with it being touch and go for awhile with my girl, but she is ok now (getting better anyhow) and the baby (we shall still call him Bubba for the purposes of this blog) is really well and healthy and totally beautiful. I am so grateful that Lizzie made it through ok, I really don't know what I would do without her, and I hated the thought of having to do that... Such a huge thing to be grateful about. And Bubba is awesome, it's like he has been part of our lives forever. :)
Jam has not only become a doting Aunty, but also completed her Diploma in Community Services, did full time work placement for 10 weeks, got a part time job from her work placement, all the time still managing her FMS. Not to mention still helping Lizzie and me while we are dealing with our FMS as well (makes things like pregnancy and arthritis even worse). She has been awesome.
I am just so proud of both my girls, for sticking with it, pushing through the pain, boredom and sometimes making hard choices, all with grace and good humour. I have said it before, and I will no doubt say it again, but I am very blessed to have these two amazing young women in my life.
Hubby is stoked about being a Grandfather, he wants to be called Poppy, its so cute. He hasn't been able to hold Bubba yet because he has had an awful 'flu virus. When we went to see them in hospital, he had to wear a surgical mask... but the smile on Eldest's face was awesome... During the past few weeks, he has finished the draft of his first eBook! So proud of him, he is well on the way to completing one of his goals for this year... All the while, coming out to me, to ensure I am ok, if I need anything or if I need him to keep me company. This is the first time he has done this kind of thing in many many years. It's lovely.
I have also begun on my new studies, not making much progress, but still, I have begun!
I am really the luckiest woman on the planet aren't I? I am so Grateful for that!
See you next time...
Kisses
Julie
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Day 126 - Clean outs
Today I'm Grateful for: Clean outs
Today I spent giving our house a really good clean out. There was a weird smell coming from the front of the house, so I investigated and came to the conclusion that because the front of the house gets so very cold, it is kind of like a fridge that doesn't get cleaned out...lol. The good thing is that the house is now all aired and cleaned out, smells better and much homier.
It is a funny thing about clean outs, it helps clear out your mind as well. I thought about a lot of things today while I was pottering around. Mostly I realised how much time I waste during the day when no-one is home. But I'm proud of myself today, I made a good start on my agreement with myself, to accomplish at least something, every day.
Kisses
Julie
Today I spent giving our house a really good clean out. There was a weird smell coming from the front of the house, so I investigated and came to the conclusion that because the front of the house gets so very cold, it is kind of like a fridge that doesn't get cleaned out...lol. The good thing is that the house is now all aired and cleaned out, smells better and much homier.
It is a funny thing about clean outs, it helps clear out your mind as well. I thought about a lot of things today while I was pottering around. Mostly I realised how much time I waste during the day when no-one is home. But I'm proud of myself today, I made a good start on my agreement with myself, to accomplish at least something, every day.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Day 123 - Day 125 - Patience
Today I'm Grateful for: Patience
Other people's patience with me, and mine with other people. I am really grateful that people don't get peeved with me easily. And I am also grateful that I am a patient person. Honest, I can sit at the doctors surgery or hospital for hours without getting upset. I just use the time to do something else as well. ie; file my nails, read a book, catch up on really old magazines, or write my shopping list. There are lots of things to do while you are waiting. I really don't understand why people get angry when the doctors are running late. Maybe they don't see the bigger picture as to why they are late. I'm not perfect of course, if I am feeling really sick or someone I love is feeling really sick, then I get impatient too. Mostly I am patient though. Hey! That's another thing I like about me!!! Aww, ain't that sweet?
Kisses
Julie
Other people's patience with me, and mine with other people. I am really grateful that people don't get peeved with me easily. And I am also grateful that I am a patient person. Honest, I can sit at the doctors surgery or hospital for hours without getting upset. I just use the time to do something else as well. ie; file my nails, read a book, catch up on really old magazines, or write my shopping list. There are lots of things to do while you are waiting. I really don't understand why people get angry when the doctors are running late. Maybe they don't see the bigger picture as to why they are late. I'm not perfect of course, if I am feeling really sick or someone I love is feeling really sick, then I get impatient too. Mostly I am patient though. Hey! That's another thing I like about me!!! Aww, ain't that sweet?
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Day 117 - Day 122 - Weekly Updates
Today I'm Grateful for: Weekly updates.
It seems as though I am updating the blog only every week or so. Lol. Believe me, it isn't intentional. I just don't remember to do it... not cool I know, but there you go.
This week I have managed to do some of my self reflection exercises, and have made some forward movement on my journey. As I promised before, I won't bore you with the details, but will share some of the highlights.
I have realised that I do lots of things for everyone else, but not very much for myself, unless it's resting. And so, starting today, I am going to continue on with my own Metaphysical studies, start walking every day (even if I start at 5 mins a day and work up to 1/2 an hour a day, every day), and do some of my hobby work at least every other day, all while still doing what I do for my family. hehehe. Wish me luck!! I always seem to start off well and then I get bored, tired, fed up, etc etc etc, way before I complete my mission. And then I start all over again... I am definitely one of those people who chase themselves around and never accomplish anything. Once again, I say "NO MORE!"... :) no, really, please stop laughing now... rude...
See you tomorrow (or maybe next week...)
Kisses
Julie
It seems as though I am updating the blog only every week or so. Lol. Believe me, it isn't intentional. I just don't remember to do it... not cool I know, but there you go.
This week I have managed to do some of my self reflection exercises, and have made some forward movement on my journey. As I promised before, I won't bore you with the details, but will share some of the highlights.
I have realised that I do lots of things for everyone else, but not very much for myself, unless it's resting. And so, starting today, I am going to continue on with my own Metaphysical studies, start walking every day (even if I start at 5 mins a day and work up to 1/2 an hour a day, every day), and do some of my hobby work at least every other day, all while still doing what I do for my family. hehehe. Wish me luck!! I always seem to start off well and then I get bored, tired, fed up, etc etc etc, way before I complete my mission. And then I start all over again... I am definitely one of those people who chase themselves around and never accomplish anything. Once again, I say "NO MORE!"... :) no, really, please stop laughing now... rude...
See you tomorrow (or maybe next week...)
Kisses
Julie
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 116 - Sad days
Today I'm Grateful for: Sad days.
Without sad days, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the happy ones.
Kisses
Julie
Without sad days, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the happy ones.
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Day 112 to Day 115 - Forgetfulness
Today I'm Grateful for: Forgetfulness
Haha, once again, I have not blogged for a few days, and I must admit that this time it is because I simply forgot! Sorry to my loyal blog followers.
The last few days have been nice, nothing outstanding, but nice. My beautiful Hubby has made us breakfast two days in a row. Sooo nice to be pampered. And the days have been lovely. Jam and I did the house cleaning yesterday and felt a satisfying sense of achievement. Isn't it weird how such a simple thing can make you feel kind of settled and calm?
Mostly I think we are all in a kind of holding pattern. Waiting for Lizzie's bubba to arrive. I don't want to go too far afield in case D Day happens. It only really hit me the other day... My baby is going to be a Mother this month!!! We are really going to have a new person in our lives. Someone to get to know, and find out what he likes and doesn't like. Someone to listen to our old jokes and think we are hilarious. Someone to take for walks and feed the ducks. A new person to love and cherish. Just mind blowing really.
So here I sit today, on my nice clean couch in my nice clean lounge room, watching re-runs of Sanctuary with Hubby and playing words with friends with Lizzie. Another lovely Sunday.
Life is Good.
Kisses
Julie
Haha, once again, I have not blogged for a few days, and I must admit that this time it is because I simply forgot! Sorry to my loyal blog followers.
The last few days have been nice, nothing outstanding, but nice. My beautiful Hubby has made us breakfast two days in a row. Sooo nice to be pampered. And the days have been lovely. Jam and I did the house cleaning yesterday and felt a satisfying sense of achievement. Isn't it weird how such a simple thing can make you feel kind of settled and calm?
Mostly I think we are all in a kind of holding pattern. Waiting for Lizzie's bubba to arrive. I don't want to go too far afield in case D Day happens. It only really hit me the other day... My baby is going to be a Mother this month!!! We are really going to have a new person in our lives. Someone to get to know, and find out what he likes and doesn't like. Someone to listen to our old jokes and think we are hilarious. Someone to take for walks and feed the ducks. A new person to love and cherish. Just mind blowing really.
So here I sit today, on my nice clean couch in my nice clean lounge room, watching re-runs of Sanctuary with Hubby and playing words with friends with Lizzie. Another lovely Sunday.
Life is Good.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Day 111 - Something new and teaching simple skills
Today I'm Grateful for: Learning something new and teaching simple skills.
I had a fun day today, hanging out with my eldest daughter Lizzie, and then youngest Jam when she got home from work experience. It was lovely just making fun of each other and generally just bonding. Eldest then taught me how to do something new and Evil. Muhahahahaha.... :) I now know how to facehack! Beware Jammy!!! Fair warning... insert more evil laughter here...
And then I taught Eldest a new skill, I taught her how to do simple stitching with the sewing machine and she made a baby bassinet comforter, all by herself. You should have seen the happy dance... it was so cute.
It really doesn't take much to make us happy does it?
Kisses
Julie
I had a fun day today, hanging out with my eldest daughter Lizzie, and then youngest Jam when she got home from work experience. It was lovely just making fun of each other and generally just bonding. Eldest then taught me how to do something new and Evil. Muhahahahaha.... :) I now know how to facehack! Beware Jammy!!! Fair warning... insert more evil laughter here...
And then I taught Eldest a new skill, I taught her how to do simple stitching with the sewing machine and she made a baby bassinet comforter, all by herself. You should have seen the happy dance... it was so cute.
It really doesn't take much to make us happy does it?
Kisses
Julie
Day 110 - TBones and Giant Mushrooms
Today I'm Grateful for: T-Bone Steaks and Giant Mushrooms.
Today I had a normal day, until I made dinner... MMMMMM, yummy. The steak was cooked perfectly, the giant mushroom cooked in a garlic sauce, with oven baked vegetables, and gently steamed vegetables. A well cooked meal sometimes makes all the difference to a person's day.
(ps, just so you know, I usually cant make steak to save my life...lol)
Kisses
Julie
Today I had a normal day, until I made dinner... MMMMMM, yummy. The steak was cooked perfectly, the giant mushroom cooked in a garlic sauce, with oven baked vegetables, and gently steamed vegetables. A well cooked meal sometimes makes all the difference to a person's day.
(ps, just so you know, I usually cant make steak to save my life...lol)
Kisses
Julie
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 109 - Gumboots
Today I'm Grateful for: Gumboots
Gumboots have become something of a fashion item these days, making it difficult to find a pair just for mucking out the yard crap. Honestly, do I really want to pay up to $75 for a pair of wellies? I have been looking for a pair of cheap gumboots so I can down to the back of our rather large yard since we moved in here, nearly two years ago. Heavens! has it really been that long? Wow, don't have any idea where the time has gone. Oh well. Where was I? Oh yes, Coles, last week. We found a pair of not really ugly gumboots for $15. And today I used them. It was lovely not to get soggy feet as I waded through our swampy areas. Bliss. See, I really am grateful for the small things too...lol
Kisses
Julie
Gumboots have become something of a fashion item these days, making it difficult to find a pair just for mucking out the yard crap. Honestly, do I really want to pay up to $75 for a pair of wellies? I have been looking for a pair of cheap gumboots so I can down to the back of our rather large yard since we moved in here, nearly two years ago. Heavens! has it really been that long? Wow, don't have any idea where the time has gone. Oh well. Where was I? Oh yes, Coles, last week. We found a pair of not really ugly gumboots for $15. And today I used them. It was lovely not to get soggy feet as I waded through our swampy areas. Bliss. See, I really am grateful for the small things too...lol
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Day 107 & Day 108 - Too busy to Blog
Today I'm Grateful for: Being too Busy to Blog.
We have been pretty busy for the past couple of days, not doing anything really interesting, but enough to stop me from posting to the blog. Lol.
We went to the movies yesterday, to see Thor. It was ok, the actor who played Thor was built and nice looking, but not great in the acting stakes. It was kind of dissapointing that we had looked forward to it so much and it was just kind of blah. They could have done so much more with it, it could have had more humour in it. The special effects were quite good though. Later Jam and I watched a movie on foxtel (grateful we have the money to have foxtel), and laughed our clakkers off. It's a movie called RED, with Bruce Willis. The special effects were awesesome! And the stunts were so cool.
Today we are pretty much just chilling out together, I am going to sit outside for awhile in the garden and play words with friends and maybe watch a movie together later.
Not exactly earth shattering news, but sharing times like these, leads to contentment, and that is what I am searching for isn't it?
Kisses
Julie
We have been pretty busy for the past couple of days, not doing anything really interesting, but enough to stop me from posting to the blog. Lol.
We went to the movies yesterday, to see Thor. It was ok, the actor who played Thor was built and nice looking, but not great in the acting stakes. It was kind of dissapointing that we had looked forward to it so much and it was just kind of blah. They could have done so much more with it, it could have had more humour in it. The special effects were quite good though. Later Jam and I watched a movie on foxtel (grateful we have the money to have foxtel), and laughed our clakkers off. It's a movie called RED, with Bruce Willis. The special effects were awesesome! And the stunts were so cool.
Today we are pretty much just chilling out together, I am going to sit outside for awhile in the garden and play words with friends and maybe watch a movie together later.
Not exactly earth shattering news, but sharing times like these, leads to contentment, and that is what I am searching for isn't it?
Kisses
Julie
Friday, June 3, 2011
Day 105 & Day 106 - Sitting in the garden & shopping
Today I'm Grateful for: Sitting in the Garden
I decided to take today off. I sat on the patio swing today and just watched the world go by and listened to the music of the trees. Thankfully I have an understanding family who lets me run off with the fairies now and then.
Kisses
Julie
Friday - 3 June 2011
Today I'm Grateful for: Shopping
We didn't do much today, just popped into the shops and bought the last of the groceries and some some wadding to make a couple of bassinette comforters for bub. Don't know how, but I am completely knackered and sore. It's not like we did much. Sad face. Anyway, we got it finished and now I can just get in and get the sheets and other sewing finished tomorrow. I'm glad I am finishing projects, and not just leaving things go. It feels really good to have a purpose. Maybe that's what I have been missing. Hmm, something to think about.
Kisses
Julie
I decided to take today off. I sat on the patio swing today and just watched the world go by and listened to the music of the trees. Thankfully I have an understanding family who lets me run off with the fairies now and then.
Kisses
Julie
Friday - 3 June 2011
Today I'm Grateful for: Shopping
We didn't do much today, just popped into the shops and bought the last of the groceries and some some wadding to make a couple of bassinette comforters for bub. Don't know how, but I am completely knackered and sore. It's not like we did much. Sad face. Anyway, we got it finished and now I can just get in and get the sheets and other sewing finished tomorrow. I'm glad I am finishing projects, and not just leaving things go. It feels really good to have a purpose. Maybe that's what I have been missing. Hmm, something to think about.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Day One Hundred and Four - Completing tasks for Bub
Today I'm Grateful for: Completing Tasks for Bubba
Today Eldest (very pregnant) spent the day with me while I began making the bassinette sheets for Bubba who is due within the next 4 weeks. With everyone being so self sufficient these days, it is nice to feel like I am doing something useful. It makes me feel more connected to the bub, not that I'm not already completely besotted, it is just more tactile and personal to actually make something for him. It was nice. I will finish the sheets tomorrow and maybe even get some cot sheets made.
Kisses
Julie
Today Eldest (very pregnant) spent the day with me while I began making the bassinette sheets for Bubba who is due within the next 4 weeks. With everyone being so self sufficient these days, it is nice to feel like I am doing something useful. It makes me feel more connected to the bub, not that I'm not already completely besotted, it is just more tactile and personal to actually make something for him. It was nice. I will finish the sheets tomorrow and maybe even get some cot sheets made.
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Day Ninety Three and on through to Day 103- Patient Friends
Today I'm Grateful for: Patient Friends.
It has been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything of value on this blog. There are a lot of reasons, some are quite personal, but some I can share here. I will probably share some of the personal ones as well as we go through, but please bear with me while I try and sort this out and get something coherent on the page. I have been humming and har-ing over whether I will continue on this particular journey with you or just give it up as a bad joke. I had decided that I would continue with it, even if just to finish something this year. So many projects are left half done in my world, and it drives me nuts, as I am the worst offender. So as I have said before, I will continue, but I won't be doing the catch up for the past two weeks, let's just call it a holiday shall we? That's why I am grateful for patient friends today, because I know that those of you who care about me and my project will not judge me for my laxity and will just be glad that I am back.
So the past couple of weeks, I have been up and down, one day feeling well and happy,and the next day I am in tears and feeling like crap. Yes, part of the grieving process, I know my dears and it is ok. But it is times like this that I want to see my girl cousin whom I grew up with and just vent. I know I have my hubby and my girls to cry to if I need to, but they are grieving themselves, and just trying to get through their days as best as they can. It's like we are all tiptoeing around each other, carrying on the day to day stuff so that we don't set each other's grief off into overload. After all, there is so much going on at the moment, it's like we don't have time to grieve properly. It's like we keep pushing it back. I know that I 'change the subject' every time I think about Den not being here any more. Like now, I can't even do this without tearing up, so I'm going to move on to another subject. One day I will do what is necessary for me to cope and to deal with this particular issue. Don't have any idea what that will be, but I will get there.
And on to the next subject. The next phase of the Gratitude Journal - my way.
I still intend on letting you know what I am grateful for each day, whether that is something in my life, or something in myself, or in others. Time to learn what I need for the next part of this life.
Thanks for being patient and kind in letting me rant about things today. And I know that I have become somewhat repetitive, I guess all I can say is that the only way I know to sort my emotions is to journal, and this is it for the moment. Some days are just like that.
Believe it or not, I am actually kind of happy today. Weird way of showing it huh? Ah well,
Kisses
Julie
It has been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything of value on this blog. There are a lot of reasons, some are quite personal, but some I can share here. I will probably share some of the personal ones as well as we go through, but please bear with me while I try and sort this out and get something coherent on the page. I have been humming and har-ing over whether I will continue on this particular journey with you or just give it up as a bad joke. I had decided that I would continue with it, even if just to finish something this year. So many projects are left half done in my world, and it drives me nuts, as I am the worst offender. So as I have said before, I will continue, but I won't be doing the catch up for the past two weeks, let's just call it a holiday shall we? That's why I am grateful for patient friends today, because I know that those of you who care about me and my project will not judge me for my laxity and will just be glad that I am back.
So the past couple of weeks, I have been up and down, one day feeling well and happy,and the next day I am in tears and feeling like crap. Yes, part of the grieving process, I know my dears and it is ok. But it is times like this that I want to see my girl cousin whom I grew up with and just vent. I know I have my hubby and my girls to cry to if I need to, but they are grieving themselves, and just trying to get through their days as best as they can. It's like we are all tiptoeing around each other, carrying on the day to day stuff so that we don't set each other's grief off into overload. After all, there is so much going on at the moment, it's like we don't have time to grieve properly. It's like we keep pushing it back. I know that I 'change the subject' every time I think about Den not being here any more. Like now, I can't even do this without tearing up, so I'm going to move on to another subject. One day I will do what is necessary for me to cope and to deal with this particular issue. Don't have any idea what that will be, but I will get there.
And on to the next subject. The next phase of the Gratitude Journal - my way.
I still intend on letting you know what I am grateful for each day, whether that is something in my life, or something in myself, or in others. Time to learn what I need for the next part of this life.
Thanks for being patient and kind in letting me rant about things today. And I know that I have become somewhat repetitive, I guess all I can say is that the only way I know to sort my emotions is to journal, and this is it for the moment. Some days are just like that.
Believe it or not, I am actually kind of happy today. Weird way of showing it huh? Ah well,
Kisses
Julie
Friday, May 20, 2011
Day Ninety Two - Reflection today
Today I'm Grateful for time for reflection.
It has been over a week since I posted anything on the blog, for lots of reasons. One of them is that I think I just really needed time to reflect on why and what I am doing with my life, my time, my blog. I have been doing a lot of complaining, about how I can't seem to get my shit in one sock so to speak. And of course, I already know what is wrong, and what I have to do to get over it.
So here is to reflections, giving us the chance to see our lives clearer and give us a chance to create what we do want for ourselves.
Kisses
Julie
ps. I will be doing another 'catch up' round over the next few days. starting today.
more kisses
It has been over a week since I posted anything on the blog, for lots of reasons. One of them is that I think I just really needed time to reflect on why and what I am doing with my life, my time, my blog. I have been doing a lot of complaining, about how I can't seem to get my shit in one sock so to speak. And of course, I already know what is wrong, and what I have to do to get over it.
So here is to reflections, giving us the chance to see our lives clearer and give us a chance to create what we do want for ourselves.
Kisses
Julie
ps. I will be doing another 'catch up' round over the next few days. starting today.
more kisses
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Day Ninety One - Listen to the Music
Today I'm Grateful for the opportunity to listen to the music.
We are surrounded by noise. Dogs barking, washing machines shuddering across the floor, fans whirring, refrigerators making weird whoop whoop noises, kids squealing as they are bouncing on trampolines, car doors slamming, more barking dogs...
How are we supposed to do any self-reflection exercises when all that is going on?
IPOD!!!!
Damn but I love my Ipod. I downloaded some more of my favorite music today, some stuff I haven't heard in a lot of years, some newer stuff and here I sit, all mellow and feeling good.
I'll reflect tomorrow while I'm doing the housework. Tonight, I'm just going to enjoy the music.
Kisses
Julie
We are surrounded by noise. Dogs barking, washing machines shuddering across the floor, fans whirring, refrigerators making weird whoop whoop noises, kids squealing as they are bouncing on trampolines, car doors slamming, more barking dogs...
How are we supposed to do any self-reflection exercises when all that is going on?
IPOD!!!!
Damn but I love my Ipod. I downloaded some more of my favorite music today, some stuff I haven't heard in a lot of years, some newer stuff and here I sit, all mellow and feeling good.
I'll reflect tomorrow while I'm doing the housework. Tonight, I'm just going to enjoy the music.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day Ninety - Self Awareness
Today I'm Grateful for Self Awareness.
Far too many people stride through their days, neither knowing or caring why they do the things they do. They tend towards the mindset that if they keep moving, they will eventually end up where they want to go. I was wondering if they had ever really considered their actions. After all, if you keep running in circles, all you are getting, is exercise!
Did that make sense? If not, let me explain a little... If we keep doing the same things, we will keep getting the same results. A lot of this is caused by people just not having any self-awareness. They simply do not stop, take a breath and question their own motives for their own actions. For instance, do they ask themselves why they get angry when someone else doesn't take their advice? Of course they don't. They simply think the other person is being unreasonable and ungrateful and then resentment sets in.
Asking ourselves why is a very good start to self-awareness. Remember to not only ask the original why, but keep on asking why until you get to the root of the problem. It is only by asking ourselves the hard questions that we can get to understand ourselves better and allow ourselves to move forward in our lives and our journey to connecting with our higher selves. And yes, it is important to keep moving forward, because it is only then that we can connect with other human beings in meaningful ways.
I have a fairly high level of self-awareness, although of late, it seems as though I have not asked why nearly enough. This is probably one of the reasons I am feeling flat and 'not me' as I said yesterday. So for the next few days, I will put aside some time for myself to do some of my self-awareness exercises... no, I promise I won't bore you with the details...lol. but I may give you some of the more relevant highlights. For now, I'm going to do some more work for the baby shower on Sunday, then go to bed. Love ya all.
Kisses
Julie
Far too many people stride through their days, neither knowing or caring why they do the things they do. They tend towards the mindset that if they keep moving, they will eventually end up where they want to go. I was wondering if they had ever really considered their actions. After all, if you keep running in circles, all you are getting, is exercise!
Did that make sense? If not, let me explain a little... If we keep doing the same things, we will keep getting the same results. A lot of this is caused by people just not having any self-awareness. They simply do not stop, take a breath and question their own motives for their own actions. For instance, do they ask themselves why they get angry when someone else doesn't take their advice? Of course they don't. They simply think the other person is being unreasonable and ungrateful and then resentment sets in.
Asking ourselves why is a very good start to self-awareness. Remember to not only ask the original why, but keep on asking why until you get to the root of the problem. It is only by asking ourselves the hard questions that we can get to understand ourselves better and allow ourselves to move forward in our lives and our journey to connecting with our higher selves. And yes, it is important to keep moving forward, because it is only then that we can connect with other human beings in meaningful ways.
I have a fairly high level of self-awareness, although of late, it seems as though I have not asked why nearly enough. This is probably one of the reasons I am feeling flat and 'not me' as I said yesterday. So for the next few days, I will put aside some time for myself to do some of my self-awareness exercises... no, I promise I won't bore you with the details...lol. but I may give you some of the more relevant highlights. For now, I'm going to do some more work for the baby shower on Sunday, then go to bed. Love ya all.
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Day Eighty Eight and Eighty Nine - Back to Basics
Today I'm Grateful for Getting back to basics.
I have tried writing out what I am grateful for each day. I have tried being upbeat and positive. I have even tried finding things I like about myself. Now it seems I need to try something new to keep this project on track for the next 276 days.
I have discovered that throughout all of this, the one thing that is constant, is that I have been endeavouring to find out what is wrong with me... why I feel a kind of emptiness. I have the most loving family whom I adore and wouldn't be without, I have a beautiful home, lots of interests and hobbies, but still feel, I don't know, less than what I am. I look in the mirror, and don't recognise the woman I see. Believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where I went...
So for the next phase of my gratitude journal, I will still tell you one thing I am grateful for on that particular day. I will continue to find the positive and be as un-obnoxious as I can. However, I am also going to utelise this opportunity to find a solution. I am going back to basics. I am going to open my own mind and find out why I am feeling so obsolete.
Today I am grateful that I am still alive and moving forward on my self-awareness journey.
Kisses
Julie
I have tried writing out what I am grateful for each day. I have tried being upbeat and positive. I have even tried finding things I like about myself. Now it seems I need to try something new to keep this project on track for the next 276 days.
I have discovered that throughout all of this, the one thing that is constant, is that I have been endeavouring to find out what is wrong with me... why I feel a kind of emptiness. I have the most loving family whom I adore and wouldn't be without, I have a beautiful home, lots of interests and hobbies, but still feel, I don't know, less than what I am. I look in the mirror, and don't recognise the woman I see. Believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where I went...
So for the next phase of my gratitude journal, I will still tell you one thing I am grateful for on that particular day. I will continue to find the positive and be as un-obnoxious as I can. However, I am also going to utelise this opportunity to find a solution. I am going back to basics. I am going to open my own mind and find out why I am feeling so obsolete.
Today I am grateful that I am still alive and moving forward on my self-awareness journey.
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Day Eighty Seven - Generosity
Today I'm Grateful that I am a Generous person.
No smart aleck remarks today. In fact I'm a little sad. Today is the seventh and final day of finding things I like about myself, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out anything for today. Not until Hubby mentioned that I am a generous person. Too generous sometimes he said, but it's still a good thing. And yes, I do like that about myself. Isn't it a little sad though that I could only find six things about myself (without other people's input) that I actually like... yep, sad.
Without going all philosophical again, (because eldest doesn't like it when I do, and I think she is the only one who reads this), how has this exercise helped me? I have a whole list of things I don't like about myself, but can only find 7 things I do... that just sucks. No, eldest, I don't want you to list things you like about me, don't really think that would be helpful at this stage. I'm not really upset by this, just a little sad.
And so this experiment has come to an end. Nothing ventured nothing gained they say, but in this case, experiment done, no conclusions made.
Kisses
Julie
PS, on the upside, I am grateful for finding missing items... yay!
No smart aleck remarks today. In fact I'm a little sad. Today is the seventh and final day of finding things I like about myself, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out anything for today. Not until Hubby mentioned that I am a generous person. Too generous sometimes he said, but it's still a good thing. And yes, I do like that about myself. Isn't it a little sad though that I could only find six things about myself (without other people's input) that I actually like... yep, sad.
Without going all philosophical again, (because eldest doesn't like it when I do, and I think she is the only one who reads this), how has this exercise helped me? I have a whole list of things I don't like about myself, but can only find 7 things I do... that just sucks. No, eldest, I don't want you to list things you like about me, don't really think that would be helpful at this stage. I'm not really upset by this, just a little sad.
And so this experiment has come to an end. Nothing ventured nothing gained they say, but in this case, experiment done, no conclusions made.
Kisses
Julie
PS, on the upside, I am grateful for finding missing items... yay!
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