Today I'm Grateful for: Patient Friends.
It has been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything of value on this blog. There are a lot of reasons, some are quite personal, but some I can share here. I will probably share some of the personal ones as well as we go through, but please bear with me while I try and sort this out and get something coherent on the page. I have been humming and har-ing over whether I will continue on this particular journey with you or just give it up as a bad joke. I had decided that I would continue with it, even if just to finish something this year. So many projects are left half done in my world, and it drives me nuts, as I am the worst offender. So as I have said before, I will continue, but I won't be doing the catch up for the past two weeks, let's just call it a holiday shall we? That's why I am grateful for patient friends today, because I know that those of you who care about me and my project will not judge me for my laxity and will just be glad that I am back.
So the past couple of weeks, I have been up and down, one day feeling well and happy,and the next day I am in tears and feeling like crap. Yes, part of the grieving process, I know my dears and it is ok. But it is times like this that I want to see my girl cousin whom I grew up with and just vent. I know I have my hubby and my girls to cry to if I need to, but they are grieving themselves, and just trying to get through their days as best as they can. It's like we are all tiptoeing around each other, carrying on the day to day stuff so that we don't set each other's grief off into overload. After all, there is so much going on at the moment, it's like we don't have time to grieve properly. It's like we keep pushing it back. I know that I 'change the subject' every time I think about Den not being here any more. Like now, I can't even do this without tearing up, so I'm going to move on to another subject. One day I will do what is necessary for me to cope and to deal with this particular issue. Don't have any idea what that will be, but I will get there.
And on to the next subject. The next phase of the Gratitude Journal - my way.
I still intend on letting you know what I am grateful for each day, whether that is something in my life, or something in myself, or in others. Time to learn what I need for the next part of this life.
Thanks for being patient and kind in letting me rant about things today. And I know that I have become somewhat repetitive, I guess all I can say is that the only way I know to sort my emotions is to journal, and this is it for the moment. Some days are just like that.
Believe it or not, I am actually kind of happy today. Weird way of showing it huh? Ah well,
Kisses
Julie
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