Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for rest and painkillers.
I know I have used this before, but today I really am glad of the opportunity to just rest and take painkillers when I need them. I'm so glad that I haven't had to go anywhere, or do anything other than get Hubby's stuff ready for him to go to night shift.
It seems that the stress has started to catch up with me and the FMS has kicked in with a vengeance. Also the CFS is making it difficult to even stay awake long enough to tidy up a little or do anything useful at all. It's days like this that make it difficult to find something really positive, and I do admit to having a lot of those days lately. Lots. I don't feel particularly positive and I know that I just have to work my way through and keep in mind that there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon. As my other used to say..."this too will pass".
I'm off to take more painkillers and have a lie down for a little while.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Day Forty Seven - Planning and keeping busy (All Caught Up now)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for planning the decorating of our home and keeping busy.
To keep myself busy, I have been planning a makeover for our home (along with Lizzie's creative input). It is basically just de-cluttering and keeping key pieces of furniture and knick-knacks, rather than trying to cram absolutely everything into our quite small place. I have started removing some of the stuff and putting it away, it either use later or to get rid of. Need some strong muscle to help move the bookcase though. Wonder if S-I-L would like to come and help.???
I am still trying to keep busy, not think about Uncle at all if I can help it. I still think there might be something wrong with me. Although my very bright eldest daughter says not. I think maybe this time she could be wrong...
Back to planning... keep busy Julie, just keep busy...
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for planning the decorating of our home and keeping busy.
To keep myself busy, I have been planning a makeover for our home (along with Lizzie's creative input). It is basically just de-cluttering and keeping key pieces of furniture and knick-knacks, rather than trying to cram absolutely everything into our quite small place. I have started removing some of the stuff and putting it away, it either use later or to get rid of. Need some strong muscle to help move the bookcase though. Wonder if S-I-L would like to come and help.???
I am still trying to keep busy, not think about Uncle at all if I can help it. I still think there might be something wrong with me. Although my very bright eldest daughter says not. I think maybe this time she could be wrong...
Back to planning... keep busy Julie, just keep busy...
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty Six - extra money in the bank
Today I'm grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for the fact that I found extra money in my old bank account.
Lizzie and I spent today going to banks to sort out new/old accounts. I found I had an extra $300 (approx) in an old account. That will certainly come in handy, we have just about broken the bank over the last couple of weeks, what with the party, the bling that went with it (although apparently Hubby has been paying that off for a year or so) and then the flights, accommodation etc to Melbourne for 5 people, plus our part of the funeral, it has been difficult, financially as well. Not complaining, just stating a fact.
So I am grateful for any extra that comes our way right now. Remember what I said earlier this year... be grateful for the little things too.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for the fact that I found extra money in my old bank account.
Lizzie and I spent today going to banks to sort out new/old accounts. I found I had an extra $300 (approx) in an old account. That will certainly come in handy, we have just about broken the bank over the last couple of weeks, what with the party, the bling that went with it (although apparently Hubby has been paying that off for a year or so) and then the flights, accommodation etc to Melbourne for 5 people, plus our part of the funeral, it has been difficult, financially as well. Not complaining, just stating a fact.
So I am grateful for any extra that comes our way right now. Remember what I said earlier this year... be grateful for the little things too.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty Five - Sleep and Maccas
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for sleep and McDonalds.
After we came home yesterday, I had a quick drink and climbed into my lovely comfy bed and slept for the first time in a week.
I woke after a while and Jam went up the street and got Maccas for dinner. Not exactly healthy, but it was better than having to cook. I then went back to bed and didn't get up until about 10am the next day.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for sleep and McDonalds.
After we came home yesterday, I had a quick drink and climbed into my lovely comfy bed and slept for the first time in a week.
I woke after a while and Jam went up the street and got Maccas for dinner. Not exactly healthy, but it was better than having to cook. I then went back to bed and didn't get up until about 10am the next day.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty Four - Home! (still catching up, not much more)
Today I'm Grateful for::-
Today I'm grateful for going home.
It has been too hard. I just want to be home. In my own bed, where I can finally get some sleep.
I'm so glad to have a lovely home to be going to.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for going home.
It has been too hard. I just want to be home. In my own bed, where I can finally get some sleep.
I'm so glad to have a lovely home to be going to.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty Three - Friday - My kids
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for my girls and S-I-L being here.
The kids (growed ups) are here!!! I really missed my girls. I find incredible comfort in having them near me when I am so low.
Today is my favourite Uncle/Brother's funeral. One of my absolute favourite people in the universe is gone. He was my Uncle, my brother, my best friend and my terrible twin. We grew up together and spent our whole lives being there for each other. Always. When my Hubby was away with the Navy, Uncle was the one I would turn to if the washing machine broke down. You know the kind of thing. Even when we lived in separate states, we were still very much in each other's lives. As he got sicker, I was there to help him. My Hubby, (Uncle's best friend from the age of 14) was always there for Uncle too. We were the three musketeers. And today we have to say goodbye. It's too hard.
I am grateful that my Hubby, and my Girls are here with me, because for them I can be strong.
Hubby broke down and cried at the funeral today. Lizzie cried at the funeral today. S-I-L cried at the funeral today. Jam cried too.
I didn't cry.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for my girls and S-I-L being here.
The kids (growed ups) are here!!! I really missed my girls. I find incredible comfort in having them near me when I am so low.
Today is my favourite Uncle/Brother's funeral. One of my absolute favourite people in the universe is gone. He was my Uncle, my brother, my best friend and my terrible twin. We grew up together and spent our whole lives being there for each other. Always. When my Hubby was away with the Navy, Uncle was the one I would turn to if the washing machine broke down. You know the kind of thing. Even when we lived in separate states, we were still very much in each other's lives. As he got sicker, I was there to help him. My Hubby, (Uncle's best friend from the age of 14) was always there for Uncle too. We were the three musketeers. And today we have to say goodbye. It's too hard.
I am grateful that my Hubby, and my Girls are here with me, because for them I can be strong.
Hubby broke down and cried at the funeral today. Lizzie cried at the funeral today. S-I-L cried at the funeral today. Jam cried too.
I didn't cry.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty Two - Peace and Quiet (catch up)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for Peace and Quiet.
Yesterday Poss and her Mum and my Hubby asked me to write a poem for Uncle for his funeral on Friday...tomorrow!! As you all know, it takes more than 24 hours to write a specialised poem for someone you love. If my Hubby wants it though, he will get it. However last night, I tried to get started (while the boys drank...lots) and really didn't get very far.
So today the fellas have told me to stay home (at the holiday home we are renting for the few days we are here) and work on the poem. I think they know that I am pretty close to cracking, and want to keep me busy. As I told ex wife Ann tonight, if I don't keep part of me separate, and business-like, I will shatter, and I don't think anyone wants that right now. I need to keep it together until after the funeral. At least.
And so today I am working on the poem.(btw, it will take me until 2am, working full on to get it done to any degree of passibility.)
So the house is quiet, except for Uncle's favourite music playing in the background, bringing back lots of memories from when we were growing up together, and all those many years together in between.
By 2am, the poem is finished, everyone is in bed. Time for bed.
Thanks for the quiet time guys, I appreciate it.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for Peace and Quiet.
Yesterday Poss and her Mum and my Hubby asked me to write a poem for Uncle for his funeral on Friday...tomorrow!! As you all know, it takes more than 24 hours to write a specialised poem for someone you love. If my Hubby wants it though, he will get it. However last night, I tried to get started (while the boys drank...lots) and really didn't get very far.
So today the fellas have told me to stay home (at the holiday home we are renting for the few days we are here) and work on the poem. I think they know that I am pretty close to cracking, and want to keep me busy. As I told ex wife Ann tonight, if I don't keep part of me separate, and business-like, I will shatter, and I don't think anyone wants that right now. I need to keep it together until after the funeral. At least.
And so today I am working on the poem.(btw, it will take me until 2am, working full on to get it done to any degree of passibility.)
So the house is quiet, except for Uncle's favourite music playing in the background, bringing back lots of memories from when we were growing up together, and all those many years together in between.
By 2am, the poem is finished, everyone is in bed. Time for bed.
Thanks for the quiet time guys, I appreciate it.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty One - Birthday Cakes (catch up)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for birthday cake.
Even though today has been spent organising the funeral, seeing the celebrant, cleaning and clearing up Uncles house, it was still my birthday. Everyone still took the time and wished me a happy birthday (haha) and kissed me.
The biggest surprise was Uncle J (whom I have never been close to) went out of his way to make me a roast lamb (my fav) dinner and bought me a birthday cake and the boys (Hubby, Brother, Nephew and Uncle J) all sang happy birthday to me - very off key, but very sweet.
So thanks Uncle J, we may even be on track to be friends.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for birthday cake.
Even though today has been spent organising the funeral, seeing the celebrant, cleaning and clearing up Uncles house, it was still my birthday. Everyone still took the time and wished me a happy birthday (haha) and kissed me.
The biggest surprise was Uncle J (whom I have never been close to) went out of his way to make me a roast lamb (my fav) dinner and bought me a birthday cake and the boys (Hubby, Brother, Nephew and Uncle J) all sang happy birthday to me - very off key, but very sweet.
So thanks Uncle J, we may even be on track to be friends.
Kisses
Julie
Day Forty - Reconnecting with family (yes, still catching up)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for being able to reconnect with family we haven't seen for many years.
As I said in day thirty nine's post, some relatives we haven't seen in many years came down from
Queensland to be with us yesterday.
I am still numb, and I am just trying to keep busy. We are spending today sorting out what needs to be done, clearing Uncle's house out, trying to find the relevant paperwork etc.
I just want to say that although it is in the worst possible circumstances, it was really nice to catch up with my cousins,my aunty and my nephew. I don't want to sound trite, but it really is at times like these that you realise just how much it means to have people around you who knew you when you were a kid. People who will accept you without judging you. Not something anyone gets much of these days. Except in your family. It's true.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for being able to reconnect with family we haven't seen for many years.
As I said in day thirty nine's post, some relatives we haven't seen in many years came down from
Queensland to be with us yesterday.
I am still numb, and I am just trying to keep busy. We are spending today sorting out what needs to be done, clearing Uncle's house out, trying to find the relevant paperwork etc.
I just want to say that although it is in the worst possible circumstances, it was really nice to catch up with my cousins,my aunty and my nephew. I don't want to sound trite, but it really is at times like these that you realise just how much it means to have people around you who knew you when you were a kid. People who will accept you without judging you. Not something anyone gets much of these days. Except in your family. It's true.
Kisses
Julie
Day Thirty Nine - ICU staff (still catching up)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for the staff in the Intensive Care Unit.
This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Try and find something to be grateful for today.
We drove straight to the hospital from our motel and were there by 8.30am where a relative from Orange was there to meet us.
He showed us the way to ICU where we saw Uncle. He was attached to the life support machines, and his body was thrashing around, I didn't know it at the time, but he was fitting. I only know that I kept thinking, "this isn't him, they've made a mistake". My head knew it was real, but I couldn't quite grasp the reality of what was in front of me. I bolted. Left. Ran away.
I am finding this incredibly difficult. so just bear with me for a tic.
I came back, of course. I couldn't leave him there without letting him know that I was there and that I would do whatever it took to do what is best for him.
After a while more of the family arrived, so along with Brother and my Hubby, there was Uncle's daughter Poss, his Ex wife (still good friends), Aunty Darling, Uncle J, some cousins I had grown up with, ex wife's parents and new partner. A lot of people. All hoping for a miracle. And then we spoke to the specialist.
If we kept Uncle on the machines, he would remain in 'a vegetative state' for the remainder of his life. I think the staff at the ICU were surprised when we were asked if this is what Uncle would have wanted for himself, and every single one of us, at the same time said, "no way". It wasn't rehearsed, or discussed. It was just what we all knew.
And so the decision was made. The machines would be turned off. Immediately.
We gave Poss some privacy, to say her goodbyes, and it was heartbreaking to hear her cry, and wail after having been so strong before, the poor little girl just broke down and threw herself on her daddy's shoulder and said goodbye. She is only 14 years old, and much too young to lose her best friend.
Poss went out with her Mum's new partner, and the rellie from Orange and waited while the tubes were taken out and the machines turned off.
"On Monday we stood around your bed,
And Bore Witness to your last breath,
Each of us, standing strong for you,
Loving Sentinels to guard you in Death".
(this is an excerpt from the poem the family asked me to write for Uncle's funeral on Friday).
How the hell do I find something to be grateful for today? I'm trying to be strong, my poor Hubby, my poor Brother, and Uncle J and everyone, they are crying, not sure what to do.
I can't cry. I'm numb. It isn't real. Even though Hubby and I closed our dear Uncle's eyes for the last time, and I kissed his empty body goodbye. I can't cry. I'm devastated, but I can't cry. I think there is something wrong with me.
We go for a drink at the pub with Aunty Darling and the cousins. We have a nice talk and catch up. I can't cry. How can I be grateful today?
I'm grateful for the ICU nurse Sally (?) who cried to see our grief. She cried for us. Thank you. You all do such an amazing job in the ICU, something I could never do. Thank you for your tears, and your compassion. Maybe soon I will be able to grieve.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for the staff in the Intensive Care Unit.
This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Try and find something to be grateful for today.
We drove straight to the hospital from our motel and were there by 8.30am where a relative from Orange was there to meet us.
He showed us the way to ICU where we saw Uncle. He was attached to the life support machines, and his body was thrashing around, I didn't know it at the time, but he was fitting. I only know that I kept thinking, "this isn't him, they've made a mistake". My head knew it was real, but I couldn't quite grasp the reality of what was in front of me. I bolted. Left. Ran away.
I am finding this incredibly difficult. so just bear with me for a tic.
I came back, of course. I couldn't leave him there without letting him know that I was there and that I would do whatever it took to do what is best for him.
After a while more of the family arrived, so along with Brother and my Hubby, there was Uncle's daughter Poss, his Ex wife (still good friends), Aunty Darling, Uncle J, some cousins I had grown up with, ex wife's parents and new partner. A lot of people. All hoping for a miracle. And then we spoke to the specialist.
If we kept Uncle on the machines, he would remain in 'a vegetative state' for the remainder of his life. I think the staff at the ICU were surprised when we were asked if this is what Uncle would have wanted for himself, and every single one of us, at the same time said, "no way". It wasn't rehearsed, or discussed. It was just what we all knew.
And so the decision was made. The machines would be turned off. Immediately.
We gave Poss some privacy, to say her goodbyes, and it was heartbreaking to hear her cry, and wail after having been so strong before, the poor little girl just broke down and threw herself on her daddy's shoulder and said goodbye. She is only 14 years old, and much too young to lose her best friend.
Poss went out with her Mum's new partner, and the rellie from Orange and waited while the tubes were taken out and the machines turned off.
"On Monday we stood around your bed,
And Bore Witness to your last breath,
Each of us, standing strong for you,
Loving Sentinels to guard you in Death".
(this is an excerpt from the poem the family asked me to write for Uncle's funeral on Friday).
How the hell do I find something to be grateful for today? I'm trying to be strong, my poor Hubby, my poor Brother, and Uncle J and everyone, they are crying, not sure what to do.
I can't cry. I'm numb. It isn't real. Even though Hubby and I closed our dear Uncle's eyes for the last time, and I kissed his empty body goodbye. I can't cry. I'm devastated, but I can't cry. I think there is something wrong with me.
We go for a drink at the pub with Aunty Darling and the cousins. We have a nice talk and catch up. I can't cry. How can I be grateful today?
I'm grateful for the ICU nurse Sally (?) who cried to see our grief. She cried for us. Thank you. You all do such an amazing job in the ICU, something I could never do. Thank you for your tears, and your compassion. Maybe soon I will be able to grieve.
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Day Thirty Eight - Aeroplanes (Still Catching Up)
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for Aeroplanes.
This morning we woke very early to a phone call from Uncle's ex in Melbourne. The news isn't good I'm afraid. The doctors in ICU have said that the brain damage is so bad that Uncle will not recover any 'normal' functionality. As a family, we have a decision to make, so Brother, Hubby and I are flying over today. As soon as possible.
I am grateful that thanks to aeorplanes, it only takes 3 1/2 hours to get to Melbourne.
We got to Melbourne at 11.30pm, went straight to a motel close to the airport and are going straight to the hospital as early as we can in the morning.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for Aeroplanes.
This morning we woke very early to a phone call from Uncle's ex in Melbourne. The news isn't good I'm afraid. The doctors in ICU have said that the brain damage is so bad that Uncle will not recover any 'normal' functionality. As a family, we have a decision to make, so Brother, Hubby and I are flying over today. As soon as possible.
I am grateful that thanks to aeorplanes, it only takes 3 1/2 hours to get to Melbourne.
We got to Melbourne at 11.30pm, went straight to a motel close to the airport and are going straight to the hospital as early as we can in the morning.
Kisses
Julie
Days 38 - 47 - I will catch you all up
Hi all,
I have only just come home from Melbourne, and had no computer available, so this is the first time I have had to catch up with the blog.
What I will do is to write an entry for each day but put it all onto the one post. For those of you who make it through this monster post, congratulations, and have a cuppa on me. (Actually, I will probably post them as I go, sometimes I may do a couple posts a day and I will post it straight away, makes it a little less confusing for you, and me...)
I thought if I write it as though I was just going through the days as they occurred, I may actually get through this without falling apart.
Ok, so as you know, Friday the 18th wasn't so great,, with Uncle having had a heart attack on the bus on his way to us here in Perth for the 'Big Bash'. last we knew, he had been put into a medically induced coma and we were waiting to see how he would come out of it.
It was way too late to cancel my birthday party, and as a family, we decided that 'the show must go on', and that we needed to put on our game faces and just put everything else to the back of our minds and enjoy the night.
So...
Day Thirty Eight - SATURDAY 19TH MARCH, 2011 - Surprise!!
Today I'm grateful for:- Surprise!!
Today I'm grateful for Surprises...I knew that my family were putting on a big'ish' party for me, but I had no idea of what was really in store for me.
From the moment the white 1968 original Mustang convertible (with a pink ribbon) arrived to pick us up to take us to the venue (The Mussel Bar - Fremantle), to when my girls hijacked me and gave me flowers to take with me into the private function room, it was a roller coaster of emotions. You will never guess what these little buggers have been planning for the past 18months! And apparently everyone knew but me...
I had some issues about turning 50, some real very valid issues. I thought I was getting old, fat and ugly and was worried that Hubby couldn't possibly love me as much as he did when I was young(er) and a hell of a lot cuter...
He was standing at the window with a guy who looked a lot like his mate the chaplain. And his brother and our S-I-L (son-in-law) were lined up beside him and our daughters lined up next to me. In all my wisdom, I turned round to the guests (standing clapping...) and said "what the hell????". round of laughter from guests... me: "No, really... what the hell???".
My beautiful Hubby of nearly 30 years had arranged for us to renew our wedding vows on my 50th birthday.
Now, I don't know about you, but to me, that was a pretty definitive demonstration of the fact that he does indeed still love me. Good to know... nah, WONDERFUL to know.
So we had a lovely little ceremony, then this tall guy starts singing, beautifully... Earl Cole in case you were wondering.
All up, an amazing evening. Our family and friends were all dressed in their finest and looked brilliant. Even S-I-L's brother and his lovely lady came over from Sydney for the evening... Everyone went to so much trouble for me. I really couldn't believe it. I had so much fun and felt so incredibly spoilt and blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. The food was delicious, service great, the music amazing, (it may not have been to everyone's taste, but I loved it), the decorations were elegant, the bonbonaires were innovative and clever, and then our eldest daughter made me cry.
Yes dear reader, she made me cry... Lizzie made a speech about me. It was heartfelt and honest and she made me sound like a wonderful person...lol.
So, I may not usually like surprises, but this one was definitely worth it. At least to me. It made me feel special, and treasured and cherished and all those other things we all need to feel to make life worth living. Thank you to all the people who made this night possible for me, but a special thank you must go to Lizzie for all of her hard work, amazing organising skills and creativity. Ably assisted by Hubby and Jam of course. Thank you all. I love you and I am blessed to have you all in my life.
Kisses
Julie
I have only just come home from Melbourne, and had no computer available, so this is the first time I have had to catch up with the blog.
What I will do is to write an entry for each day but put it all onto the one post. For those of you who make it through this monster post, congratulations, and have a cuppa on me. (Actually, I will probably post them as I go, sometimes I may do a couple posts a day and I will post it straight away, makes it a little less confusing for you, and me...)
I thought if I write it as though I was just going through the days as they occurred, I may actually get through this without falling apart.
Ok, so as you know, Friday the 18th wasn't so great,, with Uncle having had a heart attack on the bus on his way to us here in Perth for the 'Big Bash'. last we knew, he had been put into a medically induced coma and we were waiting to see how he would come out of it.
It was way too late to cancel my birthday party, and as a family, we decided that 'the show must go on', and that we needed to put on our game faces and just put everything else to the back of our minds and enjoy the night.
So...
Day Thirty Eight - SATURDAY 19TH MARCH, 2011 - Surprise!!
Today I'm grateful for:- Surprise!!
Today I'm grateful for Surprises...I knew that my family were putting on a big'ish' party for me, but I had no idea of what was really in store for me.
From the moment the white 1968 original Mustang convertible (with a pink ribbon) arrived to pick us up to take us to the venue (The Mussel Bar - Fremantle), to when my girls hijacked me and gave me flowers to take with me into the private function room, it was a roller coaster of emotions. You will never guess what these little buggers have been planning for the past 18months! And apparently everyone knew but me...
I had some issues about turning 50, some real very valid issues. I thought I was getting old, fat and ugly and was worried that Hubby couldn't possibly love me as much as he did when I was young(er) and a hell of a lot cuter...
He was standing at the window with a guy who looked a lot like his mate the chaplain. And his brother and our S-I-L (son-in-law) were lined up beside him and our daughters lined up next to me. In all my wisdom, I turned round to the guests (standing clapping...) and said "what the hell????". round of laughter from guests... me: "No, really... what the hell???".
My beautiful Hubby of nearly 30 years had arranged for us to renew our wedding vows on my 50th birthday.
Now, I don't know about you, but to me, that was a pretty definitive demonstration of the fact that he does indeed still love me. Good to know... nah, WONDERFUL to know.
So we had a lovely little ceremony, then this tall guy starts singing, beautifully... Earl Cole in case you were wondering.
All up, an amazing evening. Our family and friends were all dressed in their finest and looked brilliant. Even S-I-L's brother and his lovely lady came over from Sydney for the evening... Everyone went to so much trouble for me. I really couldn't believe it. I had so much fun and felt so incredibly spoilt and blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. The food was delicious, service great, the music amazing, (it may not have been to everyone's taste, but I loved it), the decorations were elegant, the bonbonaires were innovative and clever, and then our eldest daughter made me cry.
Yes dear reader, she made me cry... Lizzie made a speech about me. It was heartfelt and honest and she made me sound like a wonderful person...lol.
So, I may not usually like surprises, but this one was definitely worth it. At least to me. It made me feel special, and treasured and cherished and all those other things we all need to feel to make life worth living. Thank you to all the people who made this night possible for me, but a special thank you must go to Lizzie for all of her hard work, amazing organising skills and creativity. Ably assisted by Hubby and Jam of course. Thank you all. I love you and I am blessed to have you all in my life.
Kisses
Julie
Friday, March 18, 2011
Day Thirty Seven - People who know CPR
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for people who know CPR.
We woke this morning to the news that my Uncle (whom I spoke about in episode "Phone Calls and Herb Gardens") had a massive heart attack on the bus on the way to the airport this morning. He and his 14 year old daughter were on their way here for the 'Big Bash" tomorrow night.
Luckily a woman on board the bus knew CPR and promptly applied effective rresuscitation and got him breathing again until paramedics arrived at the scene. He was however without appropriate oxygen levels for around 5 minutes, so we aren't sure whether there will be any brain damage when he wakes from the medically induced coma.
Not good news folks, and very very difficult to be positive about anything just now. I know I am glad and grateful that he is still alive, but I'm just not sure how he is going to feel about it, if his health deteriorates even further. He has said previously that his quality of life is so low at the moment that if it wasn't for his daughter, he would rather just slip away. That so totally sucks for us, but if you think about it, from his point of view, is all of the suffering really worth it? A moral dilemma. And yes, I know we should only be thinking positive and 'good' thoughts now, as the universe hears all, but quite frankly, all I want to do is cry.
I can only imagine how this has effected his little girl, who was incredibly brave and gave all the relevant information to emergency services and kept calm, only breaking down when her Mum and Mum's fiance got to her at the hospital.
Everyone should learn CPR, if it wasn't for the lady on the bus this morning, my Uncle would be dead,and we would be organising a funeral tomorrow instead. So our very heartfelt thanks and gratitude go to that lady. I wish I could tell her in person.
Kisses
Julie
PS I guess the universe didn't get my memo from yesterday...
Today I'm grateful for people who know CPR.
We woke this morning to the news that my Uncle (whom I spoke about in episode "Phone Calls and Herb Gardens") had a massive heart attack on the bus on the way to the airport this morning. He and his 14 year old daughter were on their way here for the 'Big Bash" tomorrow night.
Luckily a woman on board the bus knew CPR and promptly applied effective rresuscitation and got him breathing again until paramedics arrived at the scene. He was however without appropriate oxygen levels for around 5 minutes, so we aren't sure whether there will be any brain damage when he wakes from the medically induced coma.
Not good news folks, and very very difficult to be positive about anything just now. I know I am glad and grateful that he is still alive, but I'm just not sure how he is going to feel about it, if his health deteriorates even further. He has said previously that his quality of life is so low at the moment that if it wasn't for his daughter, he would rather just slip away. That so totally sucks for us, but if you think about it, from his point of view, is all of the suffering really worth it? A moral dilemma. And yes, I know we should only be thinking positive and 'good' thoughts now, as the universe hears all, but quite frankly, all I want to do is cry.
I can only imagine how this has effected his little girl, who was incredibly brave and gave all the relevant information to emergency services and kept calm, only breaking down when her Mum and Mum's fiance got to her at the hospital.
Everyone should learn CPR, if it wasn't for the lady on the bus this morning, my Uncle would be dead,and we would be organising a funeral tomorrow instead. So our very heartfelt thanks and gratitude go to that lady. I wish I could tell her in person.
Kisses
Julie
PS I guess the universe didn't get my memo from yesterday...
Day Thirty Six - Challenges - Thursday 17th March 2011
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for challenges in my life.
One of the hardest things to do is to find something positive when you have only had negatives during your day. For instance,today we went to have manicures and pedicures for the party, because we are all too busy tomorrow and although we spent a small fortune, it was painful and very very stressful. Then we walked around the shops for awhile trying to get things done, most of which we couldn't do, or find etc. So instead of having a nice relaxing, fun day, just us girls, we ended up niggling and biting at each other because we were all so tired, sore and just plain disappointed. How do you find a positive in that????
Like I have said in past entries, maybe I should just take a different perspective on it. Instead of thinking it was a crappy day, I should thank the universe for sending so many challenges my way. It is only by finding ways to overcome and meet our challenges that we can grow to be closer to our higher selves.
So today, thanks for the challenges Universe. Would you mind putting them on hold for a while though? I think I have enough to work on for awhile... :)
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for challenges in my life.
One of the hardest things to do is to find something positive when you have only had negatives during your day. For instance,today we went to have manicures and pedicures for the party, because we are all too busy tomorrow and although we spent a small fortune, it was painful and very very stressful. Then we walked around the shops for awhile trying to get things done, most of which we couldn't do, or find etc. So instead of having a nice relaxing, fun day, just us girls, we ended up niggling and biting at each other because we were all so tired, sore and just plain disappointed. How do you find a positive in that????
Like I have said in past entries, maybe I should just take a different perspective on it. Instead of thinking it was a crappy day, I should thank the universe for sending so many challenges my way. It is only by finding ways to overcome and meet our challenges that we can grow to be closer to our higher selves.
So today, thanks for the challenges Universe. Would you mind putting them on hold for a while though? I think I have enough to work on for awhile... :)
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Day Thirty Five - My Glasses
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for my reading glasses.
It is only when I forget to take them with me, that I really appreciate my glasses. Without them, I certanly can't see whether the price tag says $7 or $2... hmm. They make my life so much easier.
And so, if you are feeling a little old, and that your body is wearing out, stop stressing, don't put it off, get your eyes tested and get those glasses!
Honest, you will be so glad that vanity will no longer matter.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for my reading glasses.
It is only when I forget to take them with me, that I really appreciate my glasses. Without them, I certanly can't see whether the price tag says $7 or $2... hmm. They make my life so much easier.
And so, if you are feeling a little old, and that your body is wearing out, stop stressing, don't put it off, get your eyes tested and get those glasses!
Honest, you will be so glad that vanity will no longer matter.
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Day Thirty Four - Evaluations
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for being able to evaluate my progress... or lack of it. :)
It has been over a month since I started this blog now, and it is time I took a step back to see if it is coming together like it is supposed to. Have I accomplished anything, and if so, what. What measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. Or am I just completely blowing sand up my own skirt and trying to make myself seem more important than I really am? Good questions, all of them. I particularly like the last one, as it seems very relevant somehow.
Ok, so have I accomplished anything. No. To be totally honest - (and what good would this blog be if I wasn't honest)- Nothing has changed. In fact I find I am doing less of what I was doing before I started this because I am trying to work out what I am going to say in this thing. Sometimes that is really difficult. Not that I am ungrateful for the things in my life, quite the opposite. I am grateful for so many things, but sometimes not in any deep and meaningful way. How to fix this? Um, can I get back to you on that?
Next question, what measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. This one is a little easier, as I find that I am constantly searching for ways to increase the positives in life, and in fact to notice the positives that are already there, and that I may have overlooked. I find that I am searching through books, speaking to other people about what they are grateful for, doing basic research on the net, taking more note of what movies are around and the messages they have (if they are positive that is). I am taking notice of lots of different things actually, making notes, and this is of course taking time as well. So I am well on the way to answer this question.
Last but certainly not least, is; am I blowing sand up my own skirts in order to appear more important than I really am... Like I said, this is actually a good question. I know the original purpose of this blog was to create a positive way of appreciating what I have in my life. But along the way, I seem to have this need to give pieces of advice, to explain why I am grateful and for it to have a 'message' that is relevant to overall life in this day and age. I wonder if this is just part of being at my time in life... my kids are grown up and don't need me as much anymore, and so I guess sometimes I feel like I have had all these experiences and have wisdom that tends to go to waste. Please don't get me wrong, my kids are still coming to me for all kinds of things, and I still have that 'magic' touch when it comes to getting the advice right, but they are more often making their own decisions, and doing it better than me in some cases, lol. And that is the way it is supposed to be. I have done my job well, and now they are the ones that people go to for advice, and I am so glad of it. It is just occasionally, I feel left behind. It is also totally normal, and simply a transition period. This begs the question, is this blog just an excuse to be heard?
I had a cuppa while I mulled over the last question... and I believe the answer is no. Not really. I still believe that this blog is a way for me to make adjustments to my way of thinking. Ways for me to wake up to how life can be in the next phase of my life. How to be more positive about my age, my body and my health. Yes folks, it is "all about me". Meh, you know what I mean. About how I view the world and me within it.
Ok, so we have decided that I am probably not accomplishing very much, except getting the blog written, so I definitely have to work on that. Lists (my old friends), here we come again. Let's get the ball of productivity rolling again. I like the way I explain why I am grateful for things, so I will keep to that, maybe just make it a little more applicable. I will continue to find positives and ways to love my life in ways that are different and surprising.
All up, a good beginning to a year long project. Keep tuned people, we can only get better from here.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for being able to evaluate my progress... or lack of it. :)
It has been over a month since I started this blog now, and it is time I took a step back to see if it is coming together like it is supposed to. Have I accomplished anything, and if so, what. What measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. Or am I just completely blowing sand up my own skirt and trying to make myself seem more important than I really am? Good questions, all of them. I particularly like the last one, as it seems very relevant somehow.
Ok, so have I accomplished anything. No. To be totally honest - (and what good would this blog be if I wasn't honest)- Nothing has changed. In fact I find I am doing less of what I was doing before I started this because I am trying to work out what I am going to say in this thing. Sometimes that is really difficult. Not that I am ungrateful for the things in my life, quite the opposite. I am grateful for so many things, but sometimes not in any deep and meaningful way. How to fix this? Um, can I get back to you on that?
Next question, what measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. This one is a little easier, as I find that I am constantly searching for ways to increase the positives in life, and in fact to notice the positives that are already there, and that I may have overlooked. I find that I am searching through books, speaking to other people about what they are grateful for, doing basic research on the net, taking more note of what movies are around and the messages they have (if they are positive that is). I am taking notice of lots of different things actually, making notes, and this is of course taking time as well. So I am well on the way to answer this question.
Last but certainly not least, is; am I blowing sand up my own skirts in order to appear more important than I really am... Like I said, this is actually a good question. I know the original purpose of this blog was to create a positive way of appreciating what I have in my life. But along the way, I seem to have this need to give pieces of advice, to explain why I am grateful and for it to have a 'message' that is relevant to overall life in this day and age. I wonder if this is just part of being at my time in life... my kids are grown up and don't need me as much anymore, and so I guess sometimes I feel like I have had all these experiences and have wisdom that tends to go to waste. Please don't get me wrong, my kids are still coming to me for all kinds of things, and I still have that 'magic' touch when it comes to getting the advice right, but they are more often making their own decisions, and doing it better than me in some cases, lol. And that is the way it is supposed to be. I have done my job well, and now they are the ones that people go to for advice, and I am so glad of it. It is just occasionally, I feel left behind. It is also totally normal, and simply a transition period. This begs the question, is this blog just an excuse to be heard?
I had a cuppa while I mulled over the last question... and I believe the answer is no. Not really. I still believe that this blog is a way for me to make adjustments to my way of thinking. Ways for me to wake up to how life can be in the next phase of my life. How to be more positive about my age, my body and my health. Yes folks, it is "all about me". Meh, you know what I mean. About how I view the world and me within it.
Ok, so we have decided that I am probably not accomplishing very much, except getting the blog written, so I definitely have to work on that. Lists (my old friends), here we come again. Let's get the ball of productivity rolling again. I like the way I explain why I am grateful for things, so I will keep to that, maybe just make it a little more applicable. I will continue to find positives and ways to love my life in ways that are different and surprising.
All up, a good beginning to a year long project. Keep tuned people, we can only get better from here.
Kisses
Julie
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day Thirty Three - Meditation
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for meditation.
We can define meditation as "any technique that relaxes the body and calms the mind".
Most of us have done some form of meditation at some stage in our lives, but it is reported that most of us "didn't get much out of it". I can tell you right now, what has probably happened, is that they got comfy, relaxed a little, slowed their minds a little and then they started to day-dream, fantasise or just plain fell asleep. Hence the whole, didn't get much out of it.
When I started doing Reiki, one of the biggest pluses was the form of meditation that goes along with it. It is like a zone of quality relaxation and awareness. A clarity of mind and a sense of 'now'. I have learnt that even when I am not doing reiki, I can still utilise the meditation techniques to help me through my life.
With meditation, the 'bad' days can be lessened, and I can just slow my mind and lessen the tension in my muscles. This in itself is a great way to give myself a lift during the painful times.
My only problem is that I usually don't take the time to actually do the meditation! Dope that I am, I know how much it will help, and yet I find so many reasons why I 'should' be doing something else, like sweeping the floors, doing the washing, etc. etc. etc...Guilt is a crappy way of mind.
My gift to myself for the next few weeks, is to allow myself time each day to meditate, no, not sit there watching tv, or daydreaming, really concentrating on making the meditation work for me. And maybe, with a little perseverance, I can make it into a daily ritual, keeping myself calm and thinking clearly.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for meditation.
We can define meditation as "any technique that relaxes the body and calms the mind".
Most of us have done some form of meditation at some stage in our lives, but it is reported that most of us "didn't get much out of it". I can tell you right now, what has probably happened, is that they got comfy, relaxed a little, slowed their minds a little and then they started to day-dream, fantasise or just plain fell asleep. Hence the whole, didn't get much out of it.
When I started doing Reiki, one of the biggest pluses was the form of meditation that goes along with it. It is like a zone of quality relaxation and awareness. A clarity of mind and a sense of 'now'. I have learnt that even when I am not doing reiki, I can still utilise the meditation techniques to help me through my life.
With meditation, the 'bad' days can be lessened, and I can just slow my mind and lessen the tension in my muscles. This in itself is a great way to give myself a lift during the painful times.
My only problem is that I usually don't take the time to actually do the meditation! Dope that I am, I know how much it will help, and yet I find so many reasons why I 'should' be doing something else, like sweeping the floors, doing the washing, etc. etc. etc...Guilt is a crappy way of mind.
My gift to myself for the next few weeks, is to allow myself time each day to meditate, no, not sit there watching tv, or daydreaming, really concentrating on making the meditation work for me. And maybe, with a little perseverance, I can make it into a daily ritual, keeping myself calm and thinking clearly.
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day Thirty Two - Early Nights
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for having an early night.
After pulling a muscle in my neck yesterday, and referred pain down my arm today, I am grateful for the fact that I can have an early night tonight without feeling guilty or 'having' to get stuff done.
So, goodnight, see you tomorrow.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for having an early night.
After pulling a muscle in my neck yesterday, and referred pain down my arm today, I am grateful for the fact that I can have an early night tonight without feeling guilty or 'having' to get stuff done.
So, goodnight, see you tomorrow.
Kisses
Julie
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day Thirty One - Being a Good Parent
Today I'm Grateful for:
Today I'm grateful for being a good parent.
Yes, I can prove it. Our daughters Lizzie and Jam are both grown now, one with a bub on the way, but they constantly prove to me that we have been good parents. Just the other day, while Lizzie and I were out, an elderly lady was in distress. Lizzie made the necessary phone calls, and we helped her into her taxi and on the road back to her care centre. I didn't prod her to do it, she just did it as a matter of course. Like something that should just be done, no biggie. Now, if you know my eldest girl, you will know that she is forthright, honest, has a strong sense of what is right and wrong in the world, but not usually big on 'helping' others. Unless it is to organise them, make arrangements, get them looking nice, but strangers, not usually. She will help people she loves until she bleeds, but doesn't usually go out of her way to help strangers. If it had been Jam, I wouldn't have been surprised, she does go out of her way to help strangers constantly, probably why she is going into the community services industry. And why she will be successful at it.
It makes me proud to know that our girls will do the right thing, whether I am with them or not. That we have brought them up to have manners and consideration for others. I am also confident that they will pass this along to any children they have and that they in turn will one day be as proud to be their parents as we are proud to be theirs.
My point is, these are really good people we have brought up, they have grown into caring, kind, and decent women. And yes, today I am going to take the credit and give myself a pat on the back. Well done Julie, pat pat...
I am also very grateful that I had such a great Mum to teach me how to be a great Mum. Thanks Mum
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for being a good parent.
Yes, I can prove it. Our daughters Lizzie and Jam are both grown now, one with a bub on the way, but they constantly prove to me that we have been good parents. Just the other day, while Lizzie and I were out, an elderly lady was in distress. Lizzie made the necessary phone calls, and we helped her into her taxi and on the road back to her care centre. I didn't prod her to do it, she just did it as a matter of course. Like something that should just be done, no biggie. Now, if you know my eldest girl, you will know that she is forthright, honest, has a strong sense of what is right and wrong in the world, but not usually big on 'helping' others. Unless it is to organise them, make arrangements, get them looking nice, but strangers, not usually. She will help people she loves until she bleeds, but doesn't usually go out of her way to help strangers. If it had been Jam, I wouldn't have been surprised, she does go out of her way to help strangers constantly, probably why she is going into the community services industry. And why she will be successful at it.
It makes me proud to know that our girls will do the right thing, whether I am with them or not. That we have brought them up to have manners and consideration for others. I am also confident that they will pass this along to any children they have and that they in turn will one day be as proud to be their parents as we are proud to be theirs.
My point is, these are really good people we have brought up, they have grown into caring, kind, and decent women. And yes, today I am going to take the credit and give myself a pat on the back. Well done Julie, pat pat...
I am also very grateful that I had such a great Mum to teach me how to be a great Mum. Thanks Mum
Kisses
Julie
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day Thirty - Art supplies
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for cool art supplies.
One of the ways I have been keeping myself motivated and happy lately is through art therapy. I say therapy, but it is really just playing with paint, lol. Years ago, after my accident, I went to art classes that consisted of an elderly couple showing other people what they had learnt over the years. It was great, although I really didn't like painting landscapes, the company was nice and the tips very helpful. I continued painting for a few years, but stopped when I went back to work.
Since having to give up work, I have taken to painting again, regaining my enthusiasm and interest in learning to better my skills and what I laughingly call my technique. Since the last time I painted, all of my paints had dried up, so I had to buy new ones, deciding to try the acrylic paints, as the smell of the oil paints upsets my stomach now and the turpentine is even worse. Not to mention the fact that the acrylic paints are quite a bit cheaper. That's if you get the 'beginners' paints, obviously the better quality paints are more expensive, but for me, as a workup to doing anything remotely resembling art, the beginners paints are just perfect.
Over the past few months, I have steadily been acquiring new paints, brushes, canvases and any other supplies necessary. I am always on the lookout for supplies that are going to be on the cheaper side and also more interesting, so today when we were in the Reject shop and found some really cool canvases with premarked pictures, it was awesome. Great prices too. Ok, so they are never going to be great art, but for what I want, to practise my brushwork, technique and shading on, they are perfect. I also found a how to book on sketching faces and animals, and a colouring book (useful for transferring to a canvas) of some of the famous artists' paintings for a really reasonable price. I was stoked!
Now I can't wait to get started on my next picture. Have to wait until after the big bash on the 19th though I think. :)
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for cool art supplies.
One of the ways I have been keeping myself motivated and happy lately is through art therapy. I say therapy, but it is really just playing with paint, lol. Years ago, after my accident, I went to art classes that consisted of an elderly couple showing other people what they had learnt over the years. It was great, although I really didn't like painting landscapes, the company was nice and the tips very helpful. I continued painting for a few years, but stopped when I went back to work.
Since having to give up work, I have taken to painting again, regaining my enthusiasm and interest in learning to better my skills and what I laughingly call my technique. Since the last time I painted, all of my paints had dried up, so I had to buy new ones, deciding to try the acrylic paints, as the smell of the oil paints upsets my stomach now and the turpentine is even worse. Not to mention the fact that the acrylic paints are quite a bit cheaper. That's if you get the 'beginners' paints, obviously the better quality paints are more expensive, but for me, as a workup to doing anything remotely resembling art, the beginners paints are just perfect.
Over the past few months, I have steadily been acquiring new paints, brushes, canvases and any other supplies necessary. I am always on the lookout for supplies that are going to be on the cheaper side and also more interesting, so today when we were in the Reject shop and found some really cool canvases with premarked pictures, it was awesome. Great prices too. Ok, so they are never going to be great art, but for what I want, to practise my brushwork, technique and shading on, they are perfect. I also found a how to book on sketching faces and animals, and a colouring book (useful for transferring to a canvas) of some of the famous artists' paintings for a really reasonable price. I was stoked!
Now I can't wait to get started on my next picture. Have to wait until after the big bash on the 19th though I think. :)
Kisses
Julie
Day Twenty Nine - People who get it Right
Today I'm Grateful for:-
(Sorry I missed yesterday, had a bad end of day and missed doing my blog so doing two today)
Today I'm grateful for people who get it right.
Some of you may remember that my Hubby has had a few health problems over the past few years. Today he had some more needles to help with the pain, and hopefully this will help, but what I'm grateful for is that the doctor actually got it right the first time. If this works, they may then operate to actually free up the trapped nerves (finally). So that's one thing to be grateful for.
The other person who got it right today was our financial adviser, and we are now on the road to getting the mortgage paid off earlier so that we can retire earlier too. That's awesome.
Kisses
Julie
(Sorry I missed yesterday, had a bad end of day and missed doing my blog so doing two today)
Today I'm grateful for people who get it right.
Some of you may remember that my Hubby has had a few health problems over the past few years. Today he had some more needles to help with the pain, and hopefully this will help, but what I'm grateful for is that the doctor actually got it right the first time. If this works, they may then operate to actually free up the trapped nerves (finally). So that's one thing to be grateful for.
The other person who got it right today was our financial adviser, and we are now on the road to getting the mortgage paid off earlier so that we can retire earlier too. That's awesome.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day Twenty Eight - Money
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for money.
Yep, no matter how crass it sounds, I am truly grateful that we have money. No we aren't rolling in it, in fact our new mortgage is hell, but thanks to Hubby being such a hard worker, we do have enough money to make life comfortable.
I remember when we were first married, not only did we both work, but he worked 3 jobs just to make ends meet, and in fact it was incredibly difficult to make ends meet at all. We spent many years living from pay day to pay day, having to go without just about everything except the absolute basics needed to keep us alive and working. We got ourselves into credit card problems that took us years to get out of. Like I said, for quite a few years, it was tough.
Now don't get me wrong, neither of us come from wealthy families, in fact one Christmas I remember was when I was six years old. My mum (single parent) stayed up until the wee hours of the morning on the build up to the big day, knitting each of us kids one toy, I got a Panda, Uncle got a dog, and Brother got a (hang on, what did Brother get?) I can't remember. The point is, there wasn't anything else, and I also discovered that there was no santa. Do you know, I think that is my favorite Christmas - until after our own kids came along- because it showed me quite literally that we didn't need much because Mum loved us so much that she went to work all day and stayed up most of the night just to make sure there was something for us to unwrap on Christmas day.
Sorry, digressed there for a minute, I think the point I was trying to make is that although we started out doing it tough, we weren't that different to most people those days. We all had to work hard, we all had to make sacrifices, and we all learned to budget and make life better for ourselves and our families.
Now we are in our (almost for me) 50's life is easier to say the least. If you don't count health issues, we are comfortably off, like I said, not rolling in it, but we have enough to be able to help out family sometimes, have a holiday or 'big' purchase every couple of years, and always have enough so that if the microwave gets blown up (Jam using the metal edged plates...) we can just pop down to the Good Guys and pick up another one, oh and a small vacuum cleaner (so we don't have to borrow Lizzie's). That is what made me grateful today, that I didn't have to wait and save up before getting new ones.
So yes, it is wonderful to have enough money not to worry about where our next meal is coming from. Or our next holiday or special occasion.
I also wanted to mention that I believe that the more you are grateful for something, the more will come to you. Commonly known as Karmic law. So come on, join me in being grateful for all things in your life.
Kisses
Julie
Count your blessings. A grateful heart attracts more joy, love and prosperity
Today I'm grateful for money.
Yep, no matter how crass it sounds, I am truly grateful that we have money. No we aren't rolling in it, in fact our new mortgage is hell, but thanks to Hubby being such a hard worker, we do have enough money to make life comfortable.
I remember when we were first married, not only did we both work, but he worked 3 jobs just to make ends meet, and in fact it was incredibly difficult to make ends meet at all. We spent many years living from pay day to pay day, having to go without just about everything except the absolute basics needed to keep us alive and working. We got ourselves into credit card problems that took us years to get out of. Like I said, for quite a few years, it was tough.
Now don't get me wrong, neither of us come from wealthy families, in fact one Christmas I remember was when I was six years old. My mum (single parent) stayed up until the wee hours of the morning on the build up to the big day, knitting each of us kids one toy, I got a Panda, Uncle got a dog, and Brother got a (hang on, what did Brother get?) I can't remember. The point is, there wasn't anything else, and I also discovered that there was no santa. Do you know, I think that is my favorite Christmas - until after our own kids came along- because it showed me quite literally that we didn't need much because Mum loved us so much that she went to work all day and stayed up most of the night just to make sure there was something for us to unwrap on Christmas day.
Sorry, digressed there for a minute, I think the point I was trying to make is that although we started out doing it tough, we weren't that different to most people those days. We all had to work hard, we all had to make sacrifices, and we all learned to budget and make life better for ourselves and our families.
Now we are in our (almost for me) 50's life is easier to say the least. If you don't count health issues, we are comfortably off, like I said, not rolling in it, but we have enough to be able to help out family sometimes, have a holiday or 'big' purchase every couple of years, and always have enough so that if the microwave gets blown up (Jam using the metal edged plates...) we can just pop down to the Good Guys and pick up another one, oh and a small vacuum cleaner (so we don't have to borrow Lizzie's). That is what made me grateful today, that I didn't have to wait and save up before getting new ones.
So yes, it is wonderful to have enough money not to worry about where our next meal is coming from. Or our next holiday or special occasion.
I also wanted to mention that I believe that the more you are grateful for something, the more will come to you. Commonly known as Karmic law. So come on, join me in being grateful for all things in your life.
Kisses
Julie
Count your blessings. A grateful heart attracts more joy, love and prosperity
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Day Twenty Seven - Not Being Perfect
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for not having to be perfect.
These days we put so much pressure on ourselves to be good at everything, good at our jobs, keeping the cleanest house, cooking, taking care of the family and extended family, doing community service, sports, and the list goes on.
Today I discovered something wonderful.
I was painting a creepy little picture of a crazy cat and a cupcake (hey, that sounds like a great title for a book....hmm.) and noticed the face was wonky and that the cupcake looked like it's on stilts and I was worried about how my Lizzie would like it, as I had painted it for her.
And there she was, laughing at how cute the cat looked, and the saying underneath it...Mmm cupcake...
For the first time, I realised that it wasn't how good the painting was, but the fact that I had fun with her while we were painting. I remember telling her when she was little that it didn't matter how good she was at something, as long as she did her best and had fun doing it.
As we get older, we get more coordinated, our fine motor skills develop and we get better at all those things that as a child we found so frustrating. But then we tend to expect more of ourselves, and that is a good thing, to a point. Because, as I discovered today, if you forget to enjoy yourself while you are doing them, then it ends up being just another chore. Just something else that other people expect to be done to a certain standard.
But you know what? Bugger it! If I want to paint a crazy cat with a stilted cupcake, and it makes me happy, then that's what I will paint. If I want to take photos of lopsided flowers, then that's what I will photograph. And damnitall, who is judging me anyway? You? I really don't think you are. Not any more, because now I also know that not only is it ok for me to not be perfect, but neither are you and that's ok too.
Just for today, don't be so hard on yourself, and try and practise not being perfect. I promise you will have more fun... I did.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for not having to be perfect.
These days we put so much pressure on ourselves to be good at everything, good at our jobs, keeping the cleanest house, cooking, taking care of the family and extended family, doing community service, sports, and the list goes on.
Today I discovered something wonderful.
I was painting a creepy little picture of a crazy cat and a cupcake (hey, that sounds like a great title for a book....hmm.) and noticed the face was wonky and that the cupcake looked like it's on stilts and I was worried about how my Lizzie would like it, as I had painted it for her.
And there she was, laughing at how cute the cat looked, and the saying underneath it...Mmm cupcake...
For the first time, I realised that it wasn't how good the painting was, but the fact that I had fun with her while we were painting. I remember telling her when she was little that it didn't matter how good she was at something, as long as she did her best and had fun doing it.
As we get older, we get more coordinated, our fine motor skills develop and we get better at all those things that as a child we found so frustrating. But then we tend to expect more of ourselves, and that is a good thing, to a point. Because, as I discovered today, if you forget to enjoy yourself while you are doing them, then it ends up being just another chore. Just something else that other people expect to be done to a certain standard.
But you know what? Bugger it! If I want to paint a crazy cat with a stilted cupcake, and it makes me happy, then that's what I will paint. If I want to take photos of lopsided flowers, then that's what I will photograph. And damnitall, who is judging me anyway? You? I really don't think you are. Not any more, because now I also know that not only is it ok for me to not be perfect, but neither are you and that's ok too.
Just for today, don't be so hard on yourself, and try and practise not being perfect. I promise you will have more fun... I did.
Kisses
Julie
Monday, March 7, 2011
Day Twenty Six - Something to Do
Today I'm grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for having something to do.
For many people, when they have to give up (paid) work for whatever reason, they tend to find themselves floundering around in the world. They may have not done anything but work for so many years, and to them, ,it might be that their work was what had defined who they were, how successful they were or how popular.
I am so grateful that this is not the case with me. I have so many projects on the go at the moment, my only problem is which one I can do today or when I can get the housework done! lol
Here's to keeping busy and keeping our minds active, so thank you to: take 5 and that's life magazines (for their puzzles), crossword puzzles, scrabble (on the phone.. so funny), painting, 5 new books to be read, photography, cooking new recipes, tapestry, beading, redecorating the house, sorting the cupboards, Reiki, Numerology, the list just goes on and on and on and on.... hehehe
To those of you who will occassionally complain about being bored, my suggestion is to find something that makes you happy, even if it is something you haven't done in years or something you have always wanted to try, and just forget about what you 'have' to do. Do what you LOVE to do, even just for awhile, it will put the oomph back into your omp pah pah.
Just have to work out what to do with the rest of today...hmmm
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for having something to do.
For many people, when they have to give up (paid) work for whatever reason, they tend to find themselves floundering around in the world. They may have not done anything but work for so many years, and to them, ,it might be that their work was what had defined who they were, how successful they were or how popular.
I am so grateful that this is not the case with me. I have so many projects on the go at the moment, my only problem is which one I can do today or when I can get the housework done! lol
Here's to keeping busy and keeping our minds active, so thank you to: take 5 and that's life magazines (for their puzzles), crossword puzzles, scrabble (on the phone.. so funny), painting, 5 new books to be read, photography, cooking new recipes, tapestry, beading, redecorating the house, sorting the cupboards, Reiki, Numerology, the list just goes on and on and on and on.... hehehe
To those of you who will occassionally complain about being bored, my suggestion is to find something that makes you happy, even if it is something you haven't done in years or something you have always wanted to try, and just forget about what you 'have' to do. Do what you LOVE to do, even just for awhile, it will put the oomph back into your omp pah pah.
Just have to work out what to do with the rest of today...hmmm
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Day Twenty Five - Over and above the call
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for the people in my life who go way over and above the call of duty.
Most of you know that I am turning 50 in a few weeks. And to 'celebrate' the fact, my lovely family is throwing me a big bash at one of the restaurants in Fremantle.
Please do not get me wrong, I really do appreciate all the trouble they are going to, and that they want to do this for me, but heck, I hate parties. Especially if I am the guest of honour. I don't like being the centre of attention at the best of times. Still, if this is what they want, I don't want to spoil their fun. The bit I don't like is that they are having such a hard time with the venue.. I really dislike venues who make contracts with people and then change it along the way, even up to two weeks before the party! That is just bad business. Anyway, if you want to know more about that issue, go to Lizzie's blog http://alittlebitoflotsofthings.blogspot.com/
So what I am grateful for today are Lizzie and Hubby and Jam who are going out of their way to organise this party for me. They have not only organised it, food, beverages, decorations, music, seating arrangements, everything from the ground up, but they have helped me find a dress, had it altered, gone to the hairdressers with me, invited everyone they know, and heaven knows what else that goes with doing something like this. It is totally awesome of them.
I'm sorry you guys have had such a hard time doing this, but I am grateful for the sentiment behind it. I love you too. :) And Yes, I do know that it is to celebrate what my life has been and also what it will be in the next 50 years.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for the people in my life who go way over and above the call of duty.
Most of you know that I am turning 50 in a few weeks. And to 'celebrate' the fact, my lovely family is throwing me a big bash at one of the restaurants in Fremantle.
Please do not get me wrong, I really do appreciate all the trouble they are going to, and that they want to do this for me, but heck, I hate parties. Especially if I am the guest of honour. I don't like being the centre of attention at the best of times. Still, if this is what they want, I don't want to spoil their fun. The bit I don't like is that they are having such a hard time with the venue.. I really dislike venues who make contracts with people and then change it along the way, even up to two weeks before the party! That is just bad business. Anyway, if you want to know more about that issue, go to Lizzie's blog http://alittlebitoflotsofthings.blogspot.com/
So what I am grateful for today are Lizzie and Hubby and Jam who are going out of their way to organise this party for me. They have not only organised it, food, beverages, decorations, music, seating arrangements, everything from the ground up, but they have helped me find a dress, had it altered, gone to the hairdressers with me, invited everyone they know, and heaven knows what else that goes with doing something like this. It is totally awesome of them.
I'm sorry you guys have had such a hard time doing this, but I am grateful for the sentiment behind it. I love you too. :) And Yes, I do know that it is to celebrate what my life has been and also what it will be in the next 50 years.
Kisses
Julie
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day Twenty Four - Gratitude
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for gratitude.
After such an awesome night last night, today has been difficult in so many ways. One, the pain... damn it hurts all over; two, my brain is fried from the over excitement, and three, I haven't been able to do anything I wanted to do today.
As I have probably mentioned before, it's not always easy to be positive, especially on the crappy days. So what I need to do is to rediscover what this blog is supposed to be about. In order to do that, I re-read my introduction to this gratitude journal. In it was the line "That next step is to find things that I care about, to learn again to be grateful for the little things (and even the big things) in fact ALL things that bring joy, peace and meaning to my life."
So ok, I'm a bit of a slow learner... I wonder how I can be so very ungrateful for wonderful things in my life by finding negative things about them! For instance, saying that I feel so crappy because I went to an amazing concert last night. There's something wrong with that mentality. And really, I'm incredibly grateful for being able to go to the concert, and all the other wonderful things I am able to do. I really am, it's just that my illness doesn't know the difference between bad stress and good stress, it just knows that stress brings pain.
So today I am actually grateful for gratitude. That feeling of warmth that comes from being so deeply appreciative for kindness or gifts (whether they be materialistic or spiritual) and the humbleness of knowing that someone cares enough about me to do these things for me. I love this feeling, it is a close second to the feeling I get when I do these things for the people I care about. Now THAT is a feeling to be grateful for. :)
Hope this blog made sense, lol.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for gratitude.
After such an awesome night last night, today has been difficult in so many ways. One, the pain... damn it hurts all over; two, my brain is fried from the over excitement, and three, I haven't been able to do anything I wanted to do today.
As I have probably mentioned before, it's not always easy to be positive, especially on the crappy days. So what I need to do is to rediscover what this blog is supposed to be about. In order to do that, I re-read my introduction to this gratitude journal. In it was the line "That next step is to find things that I care about, to learn again to be grateful for the little things (and even the big things) in fact ALL things that bring joy, peace and meaning to my life."
So ok, I'm a bit of a slow learner... I wonder how I can be so very ungrateful for wonderful things in my life by finding negative things about them! For instance, saying that I feel so crappy because I went to an amazing concert last night. There's something wrong with that mentality. And really, I'm incredibly grateful for being able to go to the concert, and all the other wonderful things I am able to do. I really am, it's just that my illness doesn't know the difference between bad stress and good stress, it just knows that stress brings pain.
So today I am actually grateful for gratitude. That feeling of warmth that comes from being so deeply appreciative for kindness or gifts (whether they be materialistic or spiritual) and the humbleness of knowing that someone cares enough about me to do these things for me. I love this feeling, it is a close second to the feeling I get when I do these things for the people I care about. Now THAT is a feeling to be grateful for. :)
Hope this blog made sense, lol.
Kisses
Julie
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day Twenty Three - Michael Buble
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for MICHAEL BUBLE...
Yes, still a little excited about the concert we went to tonight. It was awesome, from the opening act - Naturally 7, to the music, the showmanship and the guy himself. He was a complete dag, funny and charming, but naughty, and completely talented.
And I am grateful for being able to go to the concert and see it all, and to share it with Lizzie.
I am so tired and its nearly midnight, so I may continue on this theme tomorrow. I would like to explain what seeing shows and concerts has meant to me over the years and how it is wonderful to be able to go again.
So until tomorrow, stay cool, just like Michael...
Kisses
Julie
PS. I'm also grateful to Hubby for making this all possible. Thanks Honey :)
J
Today I'm grateful for MICHAEL BUBLE...
Yes, still a little excited about the concert we went to tonight. It was awesome, from the opening act - Naturally 7, to the music, the showmanship and the guy himself. He was a complete dag, funny and charming, but naughty, and completely talented.
And I am grateful for being able to go to the concert and see it all, and to share it with Lizzie.
I am so tired and its nearly midnight, so I may continue on this theme tomorrow. I would like to explain what seeing shows and concerts has meant to me over the years and how it is wonderful to be able to go again.
So until tomorrow, stay cool, just like Michael...
Kisses
Julie
PS. I'm also grateful to Hubby for making this all possible. Thanks Honey :)
J
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day Twenty Two - Followers
Today I'm Grateful for:
Today I'm grateful for 'Followers'.
When I first started this blog, 1) I didn't know what a 'blog' was; 2) Wouldn't have a clue as to why anyone would want to write a blog; 3) Had no idea what a 'follower' was; and 4) Didn't know why ANYONE would want to read said blog...
Now I know what a blog is (obviously), have a particular purpose for the blog, and have five followers. I still don't know why anyone wants to read this, (except for my kids that is), but I have to say, I am soooo grateful for those followers, for standing by me, for reading my ramblings and most of all, if it wasn't for them and the comments made, I probably would have given up by now. That is my usual custom, I get all excited about a project, and then after a couple of weeks, I get bored, sick or just fed up.
This is different; and having people notice what I have to say, and give constructive feedback is beneficial to the creative process. It keeps me motivated, and you know what, sometimes it just makes such a huge difference to someone, if they believe that someone else is truly 'hearing' what they have to say. Without judging, without rolling their eyes and without criticism.
So thank you to all my 'Followers' , you make a difference to me. Do you think I could have some more? Hehehe
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for 'Followers'.
When I first started this blog, 1) I didn't know what a 'blog' was; 2) Wouldn't have a clue as to why anyone would want to write a blog; 3) Had no idea what a 'follower' was; and 4) Didn't know why ANYONE would want to read said blog...
Now I know what a blog is (obviously), have a particular purpose for the blog, and have five followers. I still don't know why anyone wants to read this, (except for my kids that is), but I have to say, I am soooo grateful for those followers, for standing by me, for reading my ramblings and most of all, if it wasn't for them and the comments made, I probably would have given up by now. That is my usual custom, I get all excited about a project, and then after a couple of weeks, I get bored, sick or just fed up.
This is different; and having people notice what I have to say, and give constructive feedback is beneficial to the creative process. It keeps me motivated, and you know what, sometimes it just makes such a huge difference to someone, if they believe that someone else is truly 'hearing' what they have to say. Without judging, without rolling their eyes and without criticism.
So thank you to all my 'Followers' , you make a difference to me. Do you think I could have some more? Hehehe
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Day Twenty One - Feeling Better About Yourself
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for feeling better about myself.
Most of the time, I feel pretty crappy about myself, or at least the way I look these days. You see, I used to be quite attractive, pretty even, and so when I look into the mirror now and see an overweight, jowly creature with deep wrinkles and frizzy grey hair, I can't seem to figure out who she is. Disconcerting to say the least. And it certainly doesn't help with the depression. Or being able to have a positive outlook on life.
As it is only two days before the concert and three weeks until my birthday, I treated myself to a trip to the hairdresser, the whole works, colour, treatment, cut and blow dry. What a difference. I went for the new red colour similar to the one I had for Lizzie and Son-in-law's wedding last year, and even to me, it ROCKS!!! Dude it's great, I look a couple of years younger already. I really don't like the way I normally look, why is that do you think? It isn't as though I want to be 25 again, hell no... been there, done that, No, sometimes I believe that people will look at me and judge me by how I look now, not who I am inside. So when I see the old haggard woman, I think that is what others will think I am inside. But to me, I'm still the pretty girl who just wants to dance and climb rocks and sing to the stars.
For today's lesson, maybe I could try and be a little kinder to myself and find acceptance of who I am and how I look at this time in my life, not expecting to be more, but certainly not less either.
So, a new haircut is a great start, or perhaps it is just that I can look in the mirror and not cringe quite so much, and that is something to be grateful for.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for feeling better about myself.
Most of the time, I feel pretty crappy about myself, or at least the way I look these days. You see, I used to be quite attractive, pretty even, and so when I look into the mirror now and see an overweight, jowly creature with deep wrinkles and frizzy grey hair, I can't seem to figure out who she is. Disconcerting to say the least. And it certainly doesn't help with the depression. Or being able to have a positive outlook on life.
As it is only two days before the concert and three weeks until my birthday, I treated myself to a trip to the hairdresser, the whole works, colour, treatment, cut and blow dry. What a difference. I went for the new red colour similar to the one I had for Lizzie and Son-in-law's wedding last year, and even to me, it ROCKS!!! Dude it's great, I look a couple of years younger already. I really don't like the way I normally look, why is that do you think? It isn't as though I want to be 25 again, hell no... been there, done that, No, sometimes I believe that people will look at me and judge me by how I look now, not who I am inside. So when I see the old haggard woman, I think that is what others will think I am inside. But to me, I'm still the pretty girl who just wants to dance and climb rocks and sing to the stars.
For today's lesson, maybe I could try and be a little kinder to myself and find acceptance of who I am and how I look at this time in my life, not expecting to be more, but certainly not less either.
So, a new haircut is a great start, or perhaps it is just that I can look in the mirror and not cringe quite so much, and that is something to be grateful for.
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day Twenty - Company and Games
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for good company and phone games.
It could have been a very boring day today, with Jam at TAFE and Hubby busy on his computer, but eldest daughter Lizzie came over and we went shopping, ostensibly to buy cabbage for dinner, and ended up with two pair of bling thongs for $10, long line t-shirt for $8 and a maternity top for $2.50! Not bad for a cabbage trip...
After Jam had returned home after slaving away over a hot text book, the three of us sat together, and with very little bickering, managed to flesh out the basic plan for the baby shower in May.
We then made a tasty meal together, using the wonderfully efficient food processor to chop up the veges, and once Son-in-law had arrived, we all sat down to eat together. It was so nice, all of us in the same room for a change.
Looking around the table, even with everyone pretty much doing their own thing - ie; Hubby kept glancing at the tv, Son-in-law played with his iphone, Jam popping up and down to get drinks etc, Lizzie watching her tummy roll around - I realised that it wasn't so much that we 'share each other's days and thoughts', but that we were happy in each others company, more a case of sharing each others energies and being happy with that.
The other thing I'm grateful for is that Son-in-law spent time putting some games on my new phone for me, and now I am playing a game that is like scrabble with Lizzie, long distance... it's awesome. You will know that I'm not terribly technically minded, so this is actually a big deal for me...lol.
So there you go, good company, resulting in phone games, what a great day.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for good company and phone games.
It could have been a very boring day today, with Jam at TAFE and Hubby busy on his computer, but eldest daughter Lizzie came over and we went shopping, ostensibly to buy cabbage for dinner, and ended up with two pair of bling thongs for $10, long line t-shirt for $8 and a maternity top for $2.50! Not bad for a cabbage trip...
After Jam had returned home after slaving away over a hot text book, the three of us sat together, and with very little bickering, managed to flesh out the basic plan for the baby shower in May.
We then made a tasty meal together, using the wonderfully efficient food processor to chop up the veges, and once Son-in-law had arrived, we all sat down to eat together. It was so nice, all of us in the same room for a change.
Looking around the table, even with everyone pretty much doing their own thing - ie; Hubby kept glancing at the tv, Son-in-law played with his iphone, Jam popping up and down to get drinks etc, Lizzie watching her tummy roll around - I realised that it wasn't so much that we 'share each other's days and thoughts', but that we were happy in each others company, more a case of sharing each others energies and being happy with that.
The other thing I'm grateful for is that Son-in-law spent time putting some games on my new phone for me, and now I am playing a game that is like scrabble with Lizzie, long distance... it's awesome. You will know that I'm not terribly technically minded, so this is actually a big deal for me...lol.
So there you go, good company, resulting in phone games, what a great day.
Kisses
Julie
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