Day I dont know- an end to it

Today I'm Grateful for: an end to it all.

I am ending this blog now. It has accomplished what I needed it to do. I worked out that I am actually a very grateful person, and that I do appreciate everything the Universe sends my way (except maybe the pain, lol) and so I don't need to do a gratitude journal to remind myself that there are wonderful things in life. I already know that. I already know that everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. The blog has helped me to differentiate between what I thought was wrong with my life to what is actually wrong with my life. To whit... nothing. I am a reasonably happy person with a lot of wonderful people in my life. I wouldn't change my family, I wouldn't change my friends, I wouldn't change the home I live in. I would change my health, and my family's health, I would change the fact that I procrastinate and don't make the changes in my life to accomplish what I need to make me feel fulfilled. ie: why don't I just write the damn book, instead of always wondering what someone else will think about it? I should write it just for me, then if anyone likes it, fantastic, if not, oh well. So there you go, the blog has accomplished all it needed to and now it's time to move on and do something else, something more productive I hope.

So take care of yourselves, remember to thank the Universe everyday for all the gifts in your life, and be happy with what you have.

Kisses for always

Julie

Day 138 - New Magazines and Happiness

Today I'm Grateful for:- New Magazines and Happiness

 Hubby and I popped into the shops today to pick up bread and coke. We came out of the shops with 2 loaves of bread, 3 litres of coke, apple juice, chicken duets for dinner, 2 new leather bound journals, 2 lottery tickets, 2 gel pens, and six new magazines... Not exactly what we set out to get, but I have to say, the chicken duets were yummy, the journals will come in handy for Jam and I for our new studies, we may be multi-millionaires tomorrow night and those new mags rock!

The magazines are quite different to the usual Take 5 (which I still love) or New Idea (that I don't get anymore), in fact, there was a computer mag, a diabetes mag, with a bonus recipe book, 3 pack of scrapbooking for beginners and a writers mag. Already I feel validated as a writer, lol. The diabetes magazine is full of great ideas and handy information.

What a great way to end the afternoon. Hubby says we are going out to lunch tomorrow. Life is just going along swimmingly at the moment. If it wasn't for the pain levels actually being quite high, it would be just about perfect.

Maybe tomorrow we can go see Eldest, Son in Law and Bubba. We have tried to give them lots of privacy to get used to being a family, but I really want to see them.

"Happiness isn't a permanent state, but rather a series of moments that need to be seized, acknowledged and fully enjoyed."
Kisses

Julie

Days 127 - 137 - So Many Things

Today I'm Grateful for: So Many Things

It has been 10 days since my last confession...ooops, I mean blog...lol. I know it has been a long time, but honest, this time I think you will totally understand why I got sidetracked.

Ok, so I am grateful that I am now a Grandmother!!! It wasn't all peaches and cream though, with it being touch and go for awhile with my girl, but she is ok now (getting better anyhow) and the baby (we shall still call him Bubba for the purposes of this blog) is really well and healthy and totally beautiful. I am so grateful that Lizzie made it through ok, I really don't know what I would do without her, and I hated the thought of having to do that... Such a huge thing to be grateful about. And Bubba is awesome, it's like he has been part of our lives forever. :)

Jam has not only become a doting Aunty, but also completed her Diploma in Community Services,  did full time work placement for 10 weeks, got a part time job from her work placement, all the time still managing her FMS. Not to mention still helping Lizzie and me  while we are dealing with our FMS as well (makes things like pregnancy and arthritis even worse). She has been awesome.

I am just so proud of both my girls, for sticking with it, pushing through the pain, boredom and sometimes making hard choices, all with grace and good humour. I have said it before, and I will no doubt say it again, but I am very blessed to have these two amazing young women in my life.

Hubby is stoked about being a Grandfather, he wants to be called Poppy, its so cute. He hasn't been able to hold Bubba yet because he has had an awful 'flu virus. When we went to see them in hospital, he had to wear a surgical mask... but the smile on Eldest's face was awesome... During the past few weeks, he has finished the draft of his first eBook! So proud of him, he is well on the way to completing one of his goals for this year... All the while, coming out to me, to ensure I am ok, if I need anything or if I need him to keep me company. This is the first time he has done this kind of thing in many many years. It's lovely.

I have also begun on my new studies, not making much progress, but still, I have begun!

I am really the luckiest woman on the planet aren't I? I am so Grateful for that!

See you next time...

Kisses

Julie

Day 126 - Clean outs

Today I'm Grateful for: Clean outs

Today I spent giving our house a really good clean out. There was a weird smell coming from the front of the house, so I investigated and came to the conclusion that because the front of the house gets so very cold, it is kind of like a fridge that doesn't get cleaned out...lol. The good thing is that the house is now all aired and cleaned out, smells better and much homier.

It is a funny thing about clean outs, it helps clear out your mind as well. I thought about a lot of things today while I was pottering around. Mostly I realised how much time I waste during the day when no-one is home. But I'm proud of myself today, I made a good start on my agreement with myself, to accomplish at least something, every day.

Kisses

Julie

Day 123 - Day 125 - Patience

Today I'm Grateful for: Patience

Other people's patience with me, and mine with other people. I am really grateful that people don't get peeved with me easily. And I am also grateful that I am a patient person. Honest, I can sit at the doctors surgery or hospital for hours without getting upset. I just use the time to do something else as well. ie; file my nails, read a book, catch up on really old magazines, or write my shopping list. There are lots of things to do while you are waiting. I really don't understand why people get angry when the doctors are running late. Maybe they don't see the bigger picture as to why they are late. I'm not perfect of course, if I am feeling really sick or someone I love is feeling really sick, then I get impatient too. Mostly I am patient though. Hey! That's another thing I like about me!!! Aww, ain't that sweet?

Kisses

Julie

Day 117 - Day 122 - Weekly Updates

Today I'm Grateful for: Weekly updates.

It seems as though I am updating the blog only every week or so. Lol. Believe me, it isn't intentional. I just don't remember to do it... not cool I know, but there you go.

This week I have managed to do some of my self reflection exercises, and have made some forward movement on my journey. As I promised before, I won't bore you with the details, but will share some of the highlights.

I have realised that I do lots of things for everyone else, but not very much for myself, unless it's resting. And so, starting today, I am going to continue on with my own Metaphysical studies, start walking every day (even if I start at 5 mins a day and work up to 1/2 an hour a day, every day), and do some of my hobby work at least every other day, all while still doing what I do for my family. hehehe. Wish me luck!! I always seem to start off well and then I get bored, tired, fed up, etc etc etc, way before I complete my mission. And then I start all over again... I am definitely one of those people who chase themselves around and never accomplish anything. Once again, I say "NO MORE!"... :) no, really, please stop laughing now... rude...

See you tomorrow (or maybe next week...)

Kisses

Julie

Day 116 - Sad days

Today I'm Grateful for: Sad days.

Without sad days, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the happy ones.

Kisses

Julie

Day 112 to Day 115 - Forgetfulness

Today I'm Grateful for: Forgetfulness

Haha, once again, I have not blogged for a few days, and I must admit that this time it is because I simply forgot! Sorry to my loyal blog followers.

The last few days have been nice, nothing outstanding, but nice. My beautiful Hubby has made us breakfast two days in a row. Sooo nice to be pampered. And the days have been lovely. Jam and I did the house cleaning yesterday and felt a satisfying sense of achievement. Isn't it weird how such a simple thing can make you feel kind of settled and calm?

Mostly I think we are all in a  kind of holding pattern. Waiting for Lizzie's bubba to arrive. I don't want to go too far afield in case D Day happens. It only really hit me the other day... My baby is going to be a Mother this month!!! We are really going to have a new person in our lives. Someone to get to know, and find out what he likes and doesn't like. Someone to listen to our old jokes and think we are hilarious. Someone to take for walks and feed the ducks. A new person to love and cherish. Just mind blowing really.

So here I sit today, on my nice clean couch in my nice clean lounge room, watching re-runs of Sanctuary with Hubby and playing words with friends with Lizzie. Another lovely Sunday.

Life is Good.

Kisses

Julie

Day 111 - Something new and teaching simple skills

Today I'm Grateful for: Learning something new and teaching simple skills.

I had a fun day today, hanging out with my eldest daughter Lizzie, and then youngest Jam when she got home from work experience. It was lovely just making fun of each other and generally just bonding. Eldest then taught me how to do something new and Evil. Muhahahahaha.... :) I now know how to facehack! Beware Jammy!!! Fair warning... insert more evil laughter here...

And then I taught Eldest a new skill, I taught her how to do simple stitching with the sewing machine and she made a baby bassinet comforter, all by herself. You should have seen the happy dance... it was so cute.

It really doesn't take much to make us happy does it?

Kisses

Julie

Day 110 - TBones and Giant Mushrooms

Today I'm Grateful for: T-Bone Steaks and Giant Mushrooms.

Today I had a normal day, until I made dinner... MMMMMM, yummy. The steak was cooked perfectly, the giant mushroom cooked in a garlic sauce, with oven baked vegetables, and gently steamed vegetables. A well cooked meal sometimes makes all the difference to a person's day.

(ps, just so you know, I usually cant make steak to save my life...lol)

Kisses

Julie

Day 109 - Gumboots

Today I'm Grateful for: Gumboots

Gumboots have become something of a fashion item these days, making it difficult to find a pair just for mucking out the yard crap. Honestly, do I really want to pay up to $75 for a pair of wellies? I have been looking for a pair of cheap gumboots so I can down to the back of our rather large yard since we moved in here, nearly two years ago. Heavens! has it really been that long? Wow, don't have any idea where the time has gone. Oh well. Where was I? Oh yes, Coles, last week. We found a pair of not really ugly gumboots for $15. And today I used them. It was lovely not to get soggy feet as I waded through our swampy areas.  Bliss. See, I really am grateful for the small things too...lol

Kisses

Julie

Day 107 & Day 108 - Too busy to Blog

Today I'm Grateful for: Being too Busy to Blog.

We have been pretty busy for the past couple of days, not doing anything really interesting, but enough to stop me from posting to the blog. Lol.

We went to the movies yesterday, to see Thor. It was ok, the actor who played Thor was built and nice looking, but not great in the acting stakes. It was kind of dissapointing that we had looked forward to it so much and it was just kind of blah. They could have done so much more with it, it could have had more humour in it. The special effects were quite good though. Later Jam and I watched a movie on foxtel (grateful we have the money to have foxtel), and laughed our clakkers off. It's a movie called RED, with Bruce Willis. The special effects were awesesome! And the stunts were so cool.

Today we are pretty much just chilling out together, I am going to sit outside for awhile in the garden and play words with friends and maybe watch a movie together later.

Not exactly earth shattering news, but sharing times like these, leads to contentment, and that is what I am searching for isn't it?

Kisses

Julie

Day 105 & Day 106 - Sitting in the garden & shopping

Today I'm Grateful for: Sitting in the Garden

I decided to take today off. I sat on the patio swing today and just watched the world go by and listened to the music of the trees. Thankfully I have an understanding family who lets me run off with the fairies now and then.

Kisses

Julie



Friday - 3 June 2011

Today I'm Grateful for: Shopping

We didn't do much today, just popped into the shops and bought the last of the groceries and some some wadding to make a couple of bassinette comforters for bub. Don't know how, but I am completely knackered and sore. It's not like we did much. Sad face. Anyway, we got it finished and now I can just get in and get the sheets and other sewing finished tomorrow. I'm glad I am finishing projects, and not just leaving things go. It feels really good to have a purpose. Maybe that's what I have been missing. Hmm, something to think about.


Kisses

Julie

Day One Hundred and Four - Completing tasks for Bub

Today I'm Grateful for: Completing Tasks for Bubba

Today Eldest (very pregnant) spent the day with me while I began making the bassinette sheets for Bubba who is due within the next 4 weeks. With everyone being so self sufficient these days, it is nice to feel like I am doing something useful. It makes me feel more connected to the bub, not that I'm not already completely besotted, it is just more tactile and personal to actually make something for him. It was nice. I will finish the sheets tomorrow and maybe even get some cot sheets made.

Kisses

Julie

Day Ninety Three and on through to Day 103- Patient Friends

Today I'm Grateful for: Patient Friends.

It has been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything of value on this blog. There are a lot of reasons, some are quite personal, but some I can share here. I will probably share some of the personal ones as well as we go through, but please bear with me while I try and sort this out and get something coherent on the page. I have been humming and har-ing over whether I will continue on this particular journey with you or just give it up as a bad joke. I had decided that I would continue with it, even if just to finish something this year. So many projects are left half done in my world, and it drives me nuts, as I am the worst offender. So as I have said before, I will continue, but I won't be doing the catch up for the past two weeks, let's just call it a holiday shall we? That's why I am grateful for patient friends today, because I know that those of you who care about me and my project will not judge me for my laxity and will just be glad that I am back.

So the past couple of weeks, I have been up and down, one day feeling well and happy,and the next day I am in tears and feeling like crap. Yes, part of the grieving process, I know my dears and it is ok. But it is times like this that I want to see my girl cousin whom I grew up with and just vent. I know I have my hubby and my girls to cry to if I need to, but they are grieving themselves, and just trying to get through their days as best as they can. It's like we are all tiptoeing around each other, carrying on the day to day stuff so that we don't set each other's grief off into overload. After all, there is so much going on at the moment, it's like we don't have time to grieve properly. It's like we keep pushing it back. I know that I 'change the subject' every time I think about Den not being here any more. Like now, I can't even do this without tearing up, so I'm going to move on to another subject. One day I will do what is necessary for me to cope and to deal with this particular issue. Don't have any idea what that will be, but I will get there.

And on to the next subject. The next phase of the Gratitude Journal - my way.

I still intend on letting you know what I am grateful for each day, whether that is something in my life, or something in myself, or in others. Time to learn what I need for the next part of this life.

Thanks for being patient and kind in letting me rant about things today. And I know that I have become somewhat repetitive, I guess all I can say is that the only way I know to sort my emotions is to journal, and this is it for the moment. Some days are just like that.
Believe it or not, I am actually kind of happy today. Weird way of showing it huh? Ah well,

Kisses

Julie

Day Ninety Two - Reflection today

Today I'm Grateful for time for reflection.

It has been over a week since I posted anything on the blog, for lots of reasons. One of them is that I think I just really needed time to reflect on why and what I am doing with my life, my time, my blog. I have been doing a lot of complaining, about how I can't seem to get my shit in one sock so to speak. And of course, I already know what is wrong, and what I have to do to get over it.

So here is to reflections, giving us the chance to see our lives clearer and give us a chance to create what we do want for ourselves.

Kisses

Julie

ps. I will be doing another 'catch up' round over the next few days. starting today.
more kisses

Day Ninety One - Listen to the Music

Today I'm Grateful for the opportunity to listen to the music.

We are surrounded by noise. Dogs barking, washing machines shuddering across the floor, fans whirring, refrigerators making weird whoop whoop noises, kids squealing as they are bouncing on trampolines, car doors slamming, more barking dogs...

How are we supposed to do any self-reflection exercises when all that is going on?

IPOD!!!!

Damn but I love my Ipod. I downloaded some more of my favorite music today, some stuff I haven't heard in a lot of years, some newer stuff and here I sit, all mellow and feeling good.

I'll reflect tomorrow while I'm doing the housework. Tonight, I'm just going to enjoy the music.

Kisses

Julie

Day Ninety - Self Awareness

Today I'm Grateful for Self Awareness.

Far too many people stride through their days, neither knowing or caring why they do the things they do. They tend towards the mindset that if they keep moving, they will eventually end up where they want to go. I was wondering if they had ever really considered their actions. After all, if you keep running in circles, all you are getting, is exercise!

Did that make sense? If not, let me explain a little... If we keep doing the same things, we will keep getting the same results. A lot of this is caused by people just not having any self-awareness. They simply do not stop, take a breath and question their own motives for their own actions. For instance, do they ask themselves why they get angry when someone else doesn't take their advice? Of course they don't. They simply think the other person is being unreasonable and ungrateful and then resentment sets in.

Asking ourselves why is a very good start to self-awareness. Remember to not only ask the original why, but keep on asking why until you get to the root of the problem. It is only by asking ourselves the hard questions that we can get to understand ourselves better and allow ourselves to move forward in our lives and our journey to connecting with our higher selves. And yes, it is important to keep moving forward, because it is only then that we can connect with other human beings in meaningful ways.

I have a fairly high level of self-awareness, although of late, it seems as though I have not asked why nearly enough. This is probably one of the reasons I am feeling flat and 'not me' as I said yesterday. So for the next few days, I will put aside some time for myself to do some of my self-awareness exercises... no, I promise I won't bore you with the details...lol. but I may give you some of the more relevant highlights. For now, I'm going to do some more work for the baby shower on Sunday, then go to bed. Love ya all.

Kisses

Julie

Day Eighty Eight and Eighty Nine - Back to Basics

Today I'm Grateful for Getting back to basics.

I have tried writing out what I am grateful for each day. I have tried being upbeat and positive. I have even tried finding things I like about myself. Now it seems I need to try something new to keep this project on track for the next 276 days. 

I have discovered that throughout all of this, the one thing that is constant, is that I have been endeavouring to find out what is wrong with me... why I feel a kind of emptiness. I have the most loving family whom I adore and wouldn't be without, I have a beautiful home, lots of interests and hobbies, but still feel, I don't know, less than what I am. I look in the mirror, and don't recognise the woman I see. Believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where I went...

So for the next phase of my gratitude journal, I will still tell you one thing I am grateful for on that particular day. I will continue to find the positive and be as un-obnoxious as I can. However, I am also going to utelise this opportunity to find a solution. I am going back to basics. I am going to open my own mind and find out why I am feeling so obsolete.

Today I am grateful that I am still alive and moving forward on my self-awareness journey.

Kisses

Julie

Day Eighty Seven - Generosity

Today I'm Grateful that I am a Generous person.

No smart aleck remarks today. In fact I'm a little sad. Today is the seventh and final day of finding things I like about myself, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out anything for today. Not until Hubby mentioned that I am a generous person. Too generous sometimes he said, but it's still a good thing. And yes, I do like that about myself. Isn't it a little sad though that I could only find six things about myself (without other people's input) that I actually like... yep, sad.

Without going all philosophical again, (because eldest doesn't like it when I do, and I think she is the only one who reads this), how has this exercise helped me? I have a whole list of things I don't like about myself, but can only find 7 things I do... that just sucks. No, eldest, I don't want you to list things you like about me, don't really think that would be helpful at this stage. I'm not really upset by this, just a little sad.

And so this experiment has come to an end. Nothing ventured nothing gained they say, but in this case, experiment done, no conclusions made.

Kisses

Julie

PS, on the upside, I am grateful for finding missing items... yay!

Day Eighty Six - Try Hard

Today I'm Grateful for being a Try Hard.

Gotcha again! I am into my sixth day of finding things I like about myself. Today I like that I always try really hard to accomplish what I set out to do. I work hard at any projects I do, and I am conciencious and even if sometimes I can't finish what I started, I know that I have always given it my best shot.

Kisses

Julie

PS... Today I'm Grateful for Getting things Done.
Lizzie came over today and between the three of us, we managed to get most of the preparation done for the baby shower on Saturday. Yay!
More kisses

Day Eighty Four and Eighty Five - No Grudges and Faith

Thursday 5th May 2011

Today I'm Grateful for the fact that I don't hold grudges.

Ever since I was a young girl, I have tried to live as if every day was a new beginning. That means not going to bed angry with someone you love, and trying to forgive the people who hurt you. I try my best to live like this every single day.

Friday 6th May 2011

Today I'm Grateful for my Faith.

No, I'm not going all preachy on you. Lol. My faith is just as strong as any born again Christian, and a hell of a lot simpler. My Faith is based on the fact that Everything Happens For A Reason. We may never know the reason, but we are always in the right place, at the right time, for whatever lessons we need to learn in this life. And also that every living thing has a soul. So I figure that if I remember those two basic things, I will remember to be patient, and kind. What more do I need?

Kisses

Julie

Day Eighty Three - Sense of Humour

Today I'm Grateful for my sense of humour.

Day Three of liking me... I do like my sense of humour, being of the somewhat twisted sense. I can usually find something funny in the silliest things. I like that.

And I am grateful that my family still needs me.

hehe, killed two birds with one stone today.

Kisses

Julie

Day Eighty Two - Pretty Smile

Today I'm Grateful for having a pretty smile.

As you know from my blog yesterday, this week I am finding something about myself that I like or love.

I like that I have a pretty smile, and that other people find that it makes me quite approachable.

Kisses

Julie

Ps. I am grateful for lovely weather, sunshine without too much heat. Mmmm, lovely.

Day Eighty One - Me

Today I'm Grateful for Me.

Haha, just kidding, I'm not really grateful for me at all. And there's the problem.

You see I was talking to eldest daughter Lizzie today as you will see if you read her blog alittlebitoflotsofthings.blogspot.com - and had a mild epiphany.

Just a mild one... how exactly does one have a mild epiphany? Anyways, Lizzie and I were talking, and essentially, she was saying that my blog was interesting, but not really what she had in mind when she first suggested it. How so I ask? I was getting too 'involved' says she. How so? I ask once more... She thinks I may be trying too hard to be 'philosophical'. Oops says I... I do tend to ramble once I start writing, so perhaps she could be right. And it is certainly not all that blather that makes me more grateful. Then the epiphany happens.

I'M ALREADY GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING!!!!! (see, the capital letters and lots of exclamation points are to emphasise what I just said)

It is so true though. I really am one of the most grateful people out there. I am grateful for my daily food, I am grateful for the lovely home we live in, I am grateful for my family and my friends. I am grateful for the earth and every living thing on it. I am grateful for my faith, and other peoples faith, everything that is worth being grateful for, I'm grateful for it. Every single day.

So what is the point of doing this blog then, if not to find things to be grateful for? What is it that I need to learn from all of this?

Going philosophical again, just for a second or so. I need to ask myself one question. What is it that I am dissatisfied with? What would I change?

Answer. Me.

Elements of me anyway.

So the Lizzie suggested that perhaps I needed to take a minute or so to find something I like about myself. I figure it is going to take me a little longer than that. So here's the new plan. for the next seven days I am not going to find anything to be grateful for (or maybe I can do that too), but I am going to find something that I truly like about myself. I can't fake it, no saying something if I don't really believe it.

First one of seven. I like the fact that I am honest with everyone, even myself.

Kisses (oh, and good luck for the next few days, hehehe)

Julie

Day Eighty - Prospects

Today I'm Grateful for Prospects.

It's funny how life works out sometimes. Our youngest daughter Jam has almost completed her Diploma in Community Services and now has to complete 10 weeks of work experience.

She has just asked me if I could run a poetry workshop as part of a project she needs to complete for the family centre she is working at. At first I said no, after all, I have no qualifications, and am not published (except a self-published work, which doesn't count as far as qualifications go), and am not very good with large groups of people. Then I thought more about it. I actually do know a fair bit about poetry, the rhythms and 'keeping it true to yourself'. It could actually be an interesting experiment, terrifying, but interesting.  And who knows, if it is successful, it may lead to something even more interesting. You just never know. I have also been 'reading' my cards lately, and all of them have been saying that I need to be open to new experiences. A workshop would definitely qualify. Even if the family centre decided not to use Jam's idea, or my workshop, then it has still gotten me to think about the next phase of my development. What is next for me? I am certainly not going to sit around and wait to die. I'm way too young for that. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. :)

So here's to Prospects of new beginnings on the horizon.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Nine - Very Old Memories

Today I'm Grateful for Very Old Memories.

As you might know, I have lost some very dear people recently, and today I was thinking about all of the people I have lost in my lifetime. Not being morbid or anything, just sort of...counting. So I remembered my Auntie Midge (people used to say I looked like her), then there was my Gran (who helped Mum raise me) and then a couple of uncles and a grandfather (none of whom I ever knew), my (then soon to be husband's) mother,  my Mum from cancer, my father-in-law, my step-father, my step-brother,(both of whom I hadn't seen for many years), and now my dear auntie and my Den.

I was thinking of all these people, thinking of the impact they had had in my life, even the ones I didn't know, or the ones I didn't like.  All of these people are connected with me in an intrinsic manner, by being who they were, and doing the things they did, they helped to form me into the person I have become. No I am not 'blaming' them for anything I am, or am not, but merely acknowledging their involvement in my development.

And then I remembered him.

My 'Uncle Jim'.

Uncle Jim was my step-father's brother-in-law. He was married to Auntie Anne, a very large, imposing woman of stern demeanor, but good heart. Uncle Jim was one of those very rare gentle-men. He was kind of small, but solidly built, he always wore a hat when he went outdoors and he loved to cook. He had been a baker in the Navy, many years before and on his decommissioning, he and Auntie Anne moved to the 'butter-box' unit not far from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. They called it that because it was a very small unit, rectangular in shape, much like the old fashioned boxes people used to keep their butter in. They never had any children of their own, much to Uncle Jim's disappointment, and I think Auntie Anne's too, because even though she was never demonstrative, she was always kind. When I look back at those days though, when I used to go and stay and I slept on their little two seater couch (well, I was only ten), the thing I remember most of all is Uncle Jim. Every morning, he would get me a bowl of rice bubbles, to which he added sweet stewed rhubarb,( I didn't even know what that was until he gave it to me), and then he would carefully comb my hair, put on his jacket and hat and we would walk slowly down to the park at the harbour where we would feed the birds and just talk. He was never too busy, or bored to talk to a prattling kid, and no question was 'silly'. He would sit and think carefully before explaining it as best as he knew how. He was so patient. He was everything I wished for in a father, and never got in my step-father. (that's a whole other story). I think Uncle Jim knew things weren't right at home, but he never pried, he was always careful not to say anything negative. Like I said, a real gentle-man. In every sense of the word. He even used to pull out the chair for Auntie Anne when she went to sit at the table. All the things some might think are old-fashioned, but in reality, it was just his way of being considerate to others.

Uncle Jim died when I was seventeen.

 There's an old saying, and  I can't even remember how it goes properly, but in essence it says... In the end, it won't matter how intelligent you were, or how successful your career was. It won't matter how big your house was or what type of car you drove. In the end, all that matters is how you made other people feel.

When I think of Uncle Jim, I feel safe, loved, happy. I am so very grateful that he was in my life, even for such a short while, because he was the one who showed me that yes, there are some truly good people out there and that every one of them is like a treasure, if we search long and hard enough, we will find them, and when we do, we will hold them close and keep their memories forever.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Eight - Pretty Things

Today I'm Grateful for Pretty Things.

I can't deny it, I love pretty things. It's as if they can ease our souls just by being beautiful, touching something deep within making us. Somedays, when I am feeling particularly fat and ugly, I like to just sit and  look at the beautiful pieces I have collected over my lifetime. I makes me feel like I have accomplished something, and that by extension I can be prettier, classier. Today was one of those days.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Seven - Legs

Today I'm Grateful for my Legs.

The knees burn and hurt, the thigh muscles spasm, and the ankles crack and creak, but by damn, my legs held me up today so I could make the promised dinner (from yesterday). I even made dessert!

Yay for legs!

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Six - Dinner Cooked for Me

Today I'm Grateful for Having Dinner Cooked for Me.

Usually I am the one to prepare and cook dinner for Hubby, Jam and myself, and sometimes, it gets tiring, even just thinking about what to make. Lately I just haven't cared much one way or another whether I make a meal or not, and with the fall and everything, well, let's just say that dinner has been a somewhat slapdash affair.

To my delight, Hubby cooked last night (Jam did the veg) and they made T-bone steak (well done), with sauteed onions, garlic mashed potato and steamed broccoli. Yummo! Tonight he cooked up bacon and eggs with fried tomatoes. More Yummo...

Have you ever noticed that food always tastes better when someone else cooks it? Mmmm, chocolate for dessert. :)

Thanks honey, I am grateful for the chance to sit and relax and not feel guilty about not making dinner. I think tomorrow I will cook up something nice, maybe my special Baked Pineapple Pork chops with diced baked root vegetables and steamed beans, tomato with lemon sauce. That's one problem out of the way, (figuring out what to have), just hope I can stand up long enough to do it! lol.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Five - iTunes

Today I'm Grateful for iTunes.

I have spent the better part of today playing with iTunes, putting more music onto my ipod. It's a lot of fun and an easy way to keep me off my feet (still laid up).

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Four - Burnt soup

Today I am Grateful for Burnt Soup.

Haha, I made soup today, but burnt the bloody stuff! So uncool. And so unlike me. shhh, stop sniggering.
But I figure that I can probably blitz most of it off and it might salvage the taste of the soup.

A little burnt flavour is better than no soup at all. I like soup.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy Three - Motorcycles

Today I'm Grateful for Motorcycles.

Today I'm grateful for something not for myself, but for my dear Hubby. As most of you know, he has had a rough couple of years, and the worst part of it has been the fact that he hasn't been able to ride his motorbike because of his pain levels.

Riding his Harley Davidson was one of the things he loved most in this life. He loves the feeling of freedom, the exhilaration of the wind in his face and the total melding of his soul to the road. I remember one time, he had been away for awhile and the first thing he wanted to do was ride his bike. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he didn't want to be with me, and I was actually quite miffed. Ticked off. Not a happy camper... and then he came home... His face was alive with joy, his eyes twinkled and sparkled like he had just won lotto. And he hugged me, really hugged me, like he was so very happy to see me.

Just like that, it clicked in my head. Riding his bike wasn't just like going to the shops in a car, and the Harley wasn't merely a form of transport for him, but quite clearly it was more like  dare I say "a religious experience". No he doesn't find god on his bike, but to him, it is an escape, his "Happy Place".

I truly love the fact that he has something that makes him so happy. Today he is taking a chance and riding to Kojanup to see his brother for a couple of days. I am so grateful that he is getting to ride and I know he is going to have a great time.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy One - and Day Seventy Two - Comfortable chairs

Today I'm grateful for Comfortable Chairs...

Ok, so I have missed a day (or so) of the blog,  I can't really remember how many days I have missed this week.
Since I had the fall, I have been bed (chair) bound, unable to get up and do stuff for myself. I can't even make a cup of tea or anything. I am so pissed off at the moment, so tired of being in pain and unable to do even the simplest thing for myself. And so over trying to find something to be positive about. Come on, do I have to be little miss sunshine the whole time? Pollyanna can take a day off for a change.

Fine, fine... I will give it a go. The point of all this is to find something positive, no matter how hard it is, or how cranky I am at the time.

So here I am, laid up, and what can I do except read, watch tv or make lists of things I have to do when I am up and about again. Fabulous.

Comfy Chairs. the only thing I can think of  is that we have lovely big comfy chairs to sit in while I am waiting to be mobile again.

Kisses

Julie

Day Seventy - Not Broken

Today I'm Grateful for not being broken.

As you know, I had a little fall two days ago. I was laid up Wednesday and then yesterday was worse. I thought maybe I had broken my hip or something because I was in so much pain.

Good news is, no I haven't broken anything. I am able to walk (a little) today, at least I got to the lounge room before I had to sit down again. I am so grateful that nothing is broken. At least this way, all I have to do is rest a bit and I will be up and around in no time.

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Nine - Glee!

Today I'm Grateful for Glee.

Hmm, well, today I was trying to do the dishes when I slipped and fell... heavily. Onto my right knee and elbow. Ouch. To say the least.

Anyway, so I am laid up for the day, and to keep myself amused I watched the first season of Glee. Not exactly what I was expecting, funny, and unusual, and it even kept Jam amused while she was here.

So thanks Glee.

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Eight - Budgeting for a Purpose

Today I'm Grateful for our Financial Adviser.

Hubby and I have been keen on getting our finances into a healthier state for a while now. We figured that he earns a good wage, we should be further along than what we are, financially speaking.

Of course, we are doing very well for ourselves, but something always happens that puts us back a few steps as far as our future is concerned. With this in mind, a while back we employed the services of a nice lady named Rosanna and she has been compiling a plan for us to help us pay off our home a lot sooner than we thought possible. Today was D day. The day we begin our budgeting and wealth management program! It may be a bit of an adjustment, but with the end goal in sight (earlier retirement for Steve) then we are sure that it will be worth it.

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Seven - Wheelchairs

Today I'm Grateful for Wheelchairs.

 As most of you know by now, eldest daughter Lizzie is housebound because Bub wants to come see us early. Today we decided to go shopping for the Baby shower goodies and Lizzie wouldn't have been able to come with us if it wasn't for being able to borrow a wheelchair from centre managment. Luckily we did  borrow one and she was able to come with us.

Not often I get to push people around... hehehe. Or get told where to go either for that matter!

Nice day, got lots of cool stuff to do on the shower day, I think the ladies will have fun (at least I hope so).

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Six - Worms

Today I'm Grateful for Worms.

Hmm, not sure that's a good way to start a blog, but hey, it's true.

The other day we trundled off to Bunnings to buy a bamboo rug for the lounge room and brought home with us: 1 bamboo rug (large) 1 hall runner (not large enough), 4 sanding blocks, 1 very large worm cafe, and 1200 worms.

The poor wee worms have been sitting there in the corner of my kitchen (in a box, people!)  for the better part of a week, so today found the three of us down the back of the shed, pruning geraniums and clearing space under the gum trees for the worm farm to sit in. While I ran around (figuratively speaking) trying to find the instruction manual for said worm farm, Hubby and Jam put the worm farm together and did all that was necessary, including the yukky bits, and upon my arrival back to the shed with the instructions in hand, only for them to say, "its all done, just put your worms in now..." hmm, do you think maybe they were just trying to get me out of the way? I really am grateful that I didn't have to do the yuk bits. :)

Worms are safely burrowing away in their muckky tray and we are on the way to being just that little bit eco friendlier. Yay us!!

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Five - Productiveness

Today I'm Grateful for being productive.

 We all accomplished heaps today. Hubby cleaned up the patio area, looks quite nice too. He put up the archway over the garden, drilled holes in the wall for my candelabras. Then he and S-I-L put the tv up on the wall in the new study (so Hubby can watch foxtel sports without bugging me) and tidied away all of the rubbish from the yard.

Jam helped me around the house, and also finished one and a half of her TAFE assignments. Well done.

Me, I did washing, also stripping new towels of their non-absorbency, proof read Jam's assignment, sorted drawers, helped with Baby Shower plans, made huge amount of mince chow mien for dinner (and freezing) and generally bounced around the house and yard helping out here and there.

It feels good to be productive, getting things accomplished, and the house is starting to look good too.

So I'm grateful that we were all well enough and able to accomplish these things today.

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty Two - Sixty Three and Sixty Four - Getting on with it...

Today I'm Grateful for just Getting on with it.

Yes, I know I have been AWOL for three days, but it was on purpose. I am going through another 'rough' patch. The pain is awful, my arthritis is burning, the FMS is making every single joint hurt and my headache just wont go away, getting worse and making me feel physically sick when I move around. And quite frankly, I am at that point where I feel so bloody useless and like I am a burden to everyone else.

And yes, I do know that I have been here before. And will probably be here again. And I know that this too will pass. And I know that you are tired of hearing this. Guess what? So am I.

So after a fair amount of prompting from eldest darling girl, I figure I will just 'Get On
With It'. And even if it is difficult, I will keep on keeping on with this project.

Day sixty two - I was grateful for Lizzie being able to leave the hospital and rest at home.

Day sixty Three - I was grateful for Hubby changing yet another blown tyre. And grateful that fights with Jam don't last long.

Day Sixty Four - Today I am grateful for the endless cups of tea today, to keep the pain at bay. Honest, it works... would I lie to you?? :) Mmmm, tea... maybe just one more before I go to bed? hehehe

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty One - Jam

Today I'm Grateful for Jam.

Not the sweet sticky type, but our younger daughter Jam. Sweet yes, but not usually sticky, lol.

The reason I am so very grateful to Jam (or for Jam) is that once again, Eldest daughter Lizzie was admitted to hospital today, and she needed some lactose free milk and some other stuff. To save me from having to leave the hospital, Jam went to the shops for me and got what we needed, brought it to us at the hospital, and then went and picked up something for dinner.

It may not seem much, but after the emotional roller coaster ride that these visits to the hospital cause, it is nice to have some of the stress taken off.

So thanks Jammy, you're awesome.

Kisses

Julie

Day Sixty - Talking

Today I'm Grateful for being able to talk to my Hubby.

Really talk I mean. You know, not the usual, 'how are you?', 'fine', type of thing, but a meaningful conversation. We spent all day together, and we spoke of many things, Den, the house, the kids, anything and everything. It was nice. Really nice. It has been a long time since we just chatted.

I think couples in general tend to let the normal day to day ordinariness get in the way of their relationship. They get bored with the same old stories and think that they 'know' what the other person is going to say. My dear Hubby has found out that although we may be in sync quite a lot, he actually doesn't know what I'm going to say, most of the time. And so he has agreed to actually listen to the whole sentence before putting in his two cents worth, lol. It was an amusing conversation, I can assure you.

So here's to communication, compassion and compromise. The three essentials to a happy marriage after nearly 30 years.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Nine - Forgetfulness

Today I forgot to write about what I was grateful for:-

So I wondered, is it ok to forget about stuff some days? It wasn't as if I was super busy or accomplished much of anything. I just forgot. Is that ok? Am I a bad person for not thinking that I am particulary grateful for anything today? Meh. I can't be putting myself under so much pressure to be perfect. I know that I will try my best for the rest of the year, and sometimes I do wonder why I am doing this in the first place. Please remind me... anyway. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Eight - Swings and Sunshine

Today I'm Grateful for my swing seat and the sunshine.

 I was still trying to get rid of that pesky headache today, and spent some of the day outside sitting on my swing seat in the sunshine. It didn't help with the headache, but gee it was nice. Just listening to the birds fighting in the trees, and watching the dragonflies chasing each other around the yard. Our two lovely little dogs found something smelly to roll around in the grass and were having so much fun doing it, I had to laugh.

It is nice to know that I can still see the beauty and fun in life, even when I have a shitty pain day.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Seven - Memories

Today I'm Grateful for my Memories.

If you are a regular reader of this 'blog', then you have probably figured out by now that I have spent the past three weeks doing anything and everything except dealing with my emotions with regards to losing my Uncle/Brother/Best friend/Terrible Twin. I have spent time with my daughters, moved things around in the house, cleared out cupboards, scrubbed, washed, rearranged and pretty much put everyone in the house into disarray.

Today was a slow day. I felt a little crappy, but determined to get the house cleaned up. Not so lucky I'm afraid. That nasty little pain in the head started up again, and just wouldn't quit. So I tried drinking fresh water, didn't work. I tried a quiet walk in the garden, didn't work. I tried my neck exercises, yep, you guessed it, didn't work. So I ended up back on the bed, painkillers, rested for awhile.

Yes, I am getting to the point. The point is, I had time alone, with nothing to do but think.

Normally thinking would be a good thing. It's where I get most of my great ideas (and some of my bad ones), but today I thought about Den (Uncle). I thought about our childhood together, and our 'disco' days as teenagers, about singing as we stride arm in arm down the street. I thought about how we were always there for each other, even when we lived in separate states. All this thinking made my head hurt even worse, I felt like crap. Physically and emotionally. But I didn't cry. Still. And then I worried over that awhile.

Then I had another thought.

Why do I have to cry to feel better? I know that I loved him. He knew that I loved him. And we all know that I am going to miss him even more as time goes along. In my experience, I will probably cry at the most inappropriate times, and for silly reasons, and I will laugh and dance inappropriately too (like at the wake). But for me, I cope by being busy, and spending time with my family. This is what is important to me.

I know that whenever I want to see Den, all I have to do is check out some of our photos, and memories of our time together will spring to mind, vivid and as real as if it happened yesterday. And I will remember Den, as being the funny, intelligent, outspoken, dedicated friend and brother as if he was here having coffee with me, just like always.

So today I am grateful that I have my memories of Den, so that I can visit him whenever I want. This helps me to know that I can move forward in my life without feeling bad that I am here, and he isn't.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Six - Breakfast in Bed

Today I'm grateful for breakfast in bed.

As the subject line might suggest, my Hubby brought me breaky in bed today. Scrambled eggs on toast, with a big mug of tea. Mmmm yummy. I felt completely spoilt. And yes, I am a lucky woman, and never take him for granted. And all this when he still isn't up to eating solid foods himself yet...

I am thinking that maybe Hubby might be considering his own mortality, after the loss of his best friend (Uncle) on the 21st. Perhaps he is thinking that we don't know how long we have left with the people we love, and that maybe he wants to show us how much he cares, by doing little things for us, like breakfast in bed, or telling Jam how pretty she looks today. I understand completely. I am doing something similar, getting my house the way I want it, now, rather than later and not putting off going to see family and friends.

Breakfast in bed might very well be a symptom of grief for Hubby, and clearing out the house a symptom of mine, but I always say, "whatever works for you, is all good.".

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Five - Clearing Space

Today I'm Grateful for being able to clear my space.

Yesterday, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to give over my 'Reiki Room' to Hubby to use as his study. Now before you go granting me beatification for my selflessness, I have to admit to an ulterior motive... alas, I too have my dark side...hard to imagine I know... (stop sniggering!)

Hubby is the most wonderful, considerate, loving and fantastic husband any mere woman could ask for, but he does tend to s-t-r-e-t-c-h himself and his belongings out. A lot. So even though he does indeed clean up his study area (the new house has a formal lounge/dining area at the front of the house, small, but usable space) at least twice a week, it is still in a constant state of mess. Just mess. Can't hide it. Can't get away from it. It's messy.

So when I was doing my whole planning what to do with the house thing last week (trying to keep busy, remember?) I thought how nice it would be if the first thing people saw when they walked into our home was not a small area with three huge desks and assorted clutter,but rather a nice, cosy and peaceful reading area. No TV. No mess. Just a sofa bed (to use for unexpected visitors) and a comfy arm chair with neatly arranged bookcases. Some appropriate artwork on the walls. Mood lighting. Sounds nice doesn't it?

As you can see, I thought this through quite carefully. I then put it to Hubby that he could have his own space in the spare room. No sharing involved. Now, it is a little known fact, but men really don't like to share their study areas. No, really. honest, I wouldn't lie to you about that. They say its ok, but deep down, (or even quite near the surface) they really just want their 'Man's Cave' all to themselves. Yes, most of them have sheds, but an inside Man's Cave is the ultimate in acquisitions. Hence the study. You are of course now wondering if Hubby went for the idea. Damn Straight he went for the idea! Dude, if he wasn't feeling so sick, he would have had the rooms changed in under ten seconds flat.


We still have quite a bit to do, Jam and I are still sharing the formal dining area as our study, but have both decided that we will keep it clean and tidy and not infringe on each others space.

There you go, for most of today I was changing rooms around, moving furniture I wasn't supposed to be lifting, and generally having a good old clean out. It was actually very therapeutic. I always say that there is nothing quite like a good clear out to let the Universe know that you are ready to put the past behind you and move on to a better, clearer future. Let's hope the Universe gets the memo this time.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Four - Light entertainment

Today I'm grateful for a little light entertainment.

After a nightmare ride with the navman this morning, I finally got to my pathology appointment, had said blood taken, went to the shop and picked up Hubby's glasses that keep breaking, went home, where I collapsed with a cracking migraine, yet again.

So once the imigran kicked in, and the massive dose of painkillers made an indent, I finally slept off the rest of the pain and by around 7pm I was feeling much better. So grateful for that! Pain is great, because it feels so wonderful when it stops...hehe.

Anyway, I was sitting in the chair just flicking through the 87 channels (and still nothing to watch), when I remembered the planner. Gee I love my foxtel IQ. I have recorded the first two episodes of Leverage. I love that show. Jam and I sit together and watch it every week. So we sat (sort of) together tonight and watched the two episodes. Just what I needed, a little light entertainment to relieve the stresses of the past couple of months.

It is good that I am starting to not take myself quite so seriously again. For awhile there I was all like..."poor me, why me, why does it always have to be so hard". Ok, I may still ask the questions, but I now know the answer...

Why not?...

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Three - Spagetti Bolognese

Today I'm grateful for spaghetti bolognese.

Isn't spaghetti bolognese one of the best meals on the planet? Lets face it, it's cheap, it's easy, tasty, you can load it with secret veges, and it can be made in huuuuge quantities. Which is what I needed today, in order to help out Lizzie and S-I-L for dinner, as she can't stand long enough to make a meal at the moment. So, after taking Hubby to the doctor to get a jab in the butt for his gastric flu, paid the rates, go home,put him to bed, make him soup,  have food (not having eaten before 1pm! not good for a diabetic), do major shopping online, then take Jam to the shop to pick up stuff for dinner tonight, cook said dinner, (rest for half hour while dinner finishing), take dinner to Lizzie, came home and actually took an hour and a half to myself and watched Midsomer Murders, (it was a good one). And now I have to clean up, unless Jammy wants to do it for me... :)

Ok, kisses

Julie

Day Fifty Two - People in My Life

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for the people in my life.

I have found, through the years, that I tend to take people for granted. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't mean to. I just kind of... leave them by the wayside I guess you could say.

This all comes about because we moved so often as kids, and again when I married, during our 'Navy years'. By the time I had made friends (always difficult for me) we had to move and even though we tried, always ended up losing contact with people who had meant a lot to us. Of course, this isn't exactly taking people for granted, but more a case of letting them go without a whimper. Like I said, I don't mean to. I really try to stay in contact with people, but as you know, life frequently gets in the way.

My goal today (or at least this week) is to remember the people in my life whether just by a phone call, email, a note to say hi, or listen to some music that meant a lot to us.

Don't get me wrong, I constantly try to find ways to let my immediate family know that I love and appreciate them. So I NEVER take them for granted. I'm talking about other people in my life. Family I don't see every week, family over east, friends that I love to see, but rarely do, my children's friends whom I also love to catch up with, but rarely do. You know, the people who light up your day when you see them, or talk to them on the phone. Even the friendly girl at the chemist. These people all make a difference in our lives. It makes us not so alone in this sometimes horrible world.

I read an article a while ago, about a man (who actually wrote a book about it) who sent a thank you note to everyone he met... including the girl who made his coffee in the fast food place of a morning. He included teachers from his primary school days (loooong time ago) and family members.  Apparently some of the people cried because they were 'being seen' for the first time in a long time. Makes me think.

Sometimes we can feel invisible to others, like nothing we say or do makes a difference to anyone. Maybe it's time we all opened up to others, allowed them into our lives, our hearts, and let them make a difference to how we see ourselves. Believe me, it will be worth it, the people we care about are gone before we are ready to let them go. Don't go another day without letting them know you care, or that you appreciate the way they make a great plate of eggs.

I am so very grateful to have people in my life who 'see' me. You don't judge me. You can see my faults, but like or love me anyway, and in some cases, because of them. Thank you.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty One - Small Mercies

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for small mercies.

As you know, Lizzie was in hospital yesterday with bubba deciding to come early (12 weeks early!) and so she was admitted to hospital to stop the contractions. It worked!! yay! She was allowed home today, on the proviso that she rest for the next couple of weeks.

It really is the small things that make it worth keeping on with the struggle of this life. Like keeping a baby safe until he is big enough to be born. Or making plans to get healthy. Or clearing your space to make room for new (and better) changes in our lives.

So, small mercies, the ability to keep moving forward, even if they are only baby steps, just keep moving forward.

Kisses

Julie

Day Fifty - More hospital staff

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for hospital staff, once again.

It seems like I have been thanking hospital staff a lot these days. And today, once again we have cause to be grateful that the staff are kind and hardworking, doing what can sometimes be a very thankless task.

My eldest daughter Lizzie is 27 weeks pregnant, and yesterday she started having what seemed to be contractions. Of course, being Lizzie, she put off talking to anyone about it until 11am this morning!! Sometimes I worry about that girl! Anyway, the midwives were all very good with her, telling her that no, she wasn't being silly and yes, she should come in immediately. It's just as well we did, the contractions continued to get stronger and other things happened to cause the doctor (when he turned up, which was as soon as he was physically able) to be 'quite concerned'... hmmm, not a good sign. So after about 6 hours waiting for the doctor, she was given some tablets to try and stop the contractions. The good news is, bub is still doing really well, heart beat is strong and he has started moving around again (he was too quiet yesterday), so all is good there. We just have to wait now and see if the contractions go away.

So Universe, when we said the other day that we couldn't wait to meet Bubba... we didn't actually mean that we want him to be premmie... please, keep him safe for a while longer. And Lizzie too. Oh, and Universe, I guess you really didn't get my memo about no more challenges for awhile? Please?

Anyway, I am very grateful for all the lovely midwives and doctors who have been so helpful and caring for Lizzie (and me) today. Thanks for the cuppas and the sandwiches. You guys are awesome.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Nine - Funny Books

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for funny books.

As you know, I haven't been having a very good couple of months, what with one thing and another, so when Lizzie gave me a new paperback the other day, I was looking forward to having a 'light' read.

I spent the better part of today (Thursday) reading the new paperback and it was a nice change. I usually opt for something with a little more depth, but sometimes, you just need to phase the real world out and spend some time in another world.

So thanks for the book kiddo, wasn't exactly a classic in the making, but it was a funny, lighthearted read, just what the doctor ordered.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Eight - Rest and Painkillers

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for rest and painkillers.

I know I have used this before, but today I really am glad of the opportunity to just rest and take painkillers when I need them. I'm so glad that I haven't had to go anywhere, or do anything other than get Hubby's stuff ready for him to go to night shift.

It seems that the stress has started to catch up with me and the FMS has kicked in with a vengeance. Also the CFS is making it difficult to even stay awake long enough to tidy up a little or do anything useful at all. It's days like this that make it difficult to find something really positive, and I do admit to having a lot of those days lately. Lots. I don't feel particularly positive and I know that I just have to work my way through and keep in mind that there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon. As my other used to say..."this too will pass".

I'm off to take more painkillers and have a lie down for a little while.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Seven - Planning and keeping busy (All Caught Up now)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for planning the decorating of our home and keeping busy.

To keep myself busy, I have been planning a makeover for our home (along with Lizzie's creative input). It is basically just de-cluttering and keeping key pieces of furniture and knick-knacks, rather than trying to cram absolutely everything into our quite small place. I have started removing some of the stuff and putting it away, it either use later or to get rid of. Need some strong muscle to help move the bookcase though. Wonder if S-I-L would like to come and help.???

I am still trying to keep busy, not think about Uncle at all if I can help it. I still think there might be something wrong with me. Although my very bright eldest daughter says not. I think maybe this time she could be wrong...

Back to planning... keep busy Julie, just keep busy...

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Six - extra money in the bank

Today I'm grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for the fact that I found extra money in my old bank account.

Lizzie and I spent today going to banks to sort out new/old accounts. I found I had an extra $300 (approx) in an old account. That will certainly come in handy, we have just about broken the bank over the last couple of weeks, what with the party, the bling that went with it (although apparently Hubby has been paying that off for a year or so) and then the flights, accommodation etc to Melbourne for 5 people, plus our part of the funeral, it has been difficult, financially as well. Not complaining, just stating a fact.

So I am grateful for any extra that comes our way right now. Remember what I said earlier this year... be grateful for the little things too.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Five - Sleep and Maccas

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for sleep and McDonalds.


After we came home yesterday, I had a quick drink and climbed into my lovely comfy bed and slept for the first time in a week.

I woke after a while and Jam went up the street and got Maccas for dinner. Not exactly healthy, but it was better than having to cook. I then went back to bed and didn't get up until about 10am the next day.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Four - Home! (still catching up, not much more)

Today I'm Grateful for::-

Today I'm grateful for going home.

It has been too hard. I just want to be home. In my own bed, where I can finally get some sleep.

I'm so glad to have a lovely home to be going to.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Three - Friday - My kids

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for my girls and S-I-L being here.

The kids (growed ups) are here!!! I really missed my girls. I find incredible comfort in having them near me when I am so low.

Today is my favourite Uncle/Brother's funeral. One of my absolute favourite people in the universe is gone. He was my Uncle, my brother, my best friend and my terrible twin. We grew up together and spent our whole lives being there for each other. Always. When my Hubby was away with the Navy, Uncle was the one I would turn to if the washing machine broke down. You know the kind of thing. Even when we lived in separate states, we were still very much in each other's lives. As he got sicker, I was there to help him. My Hubby, (Uncle's best friend from the age of 14) was always there for Uncle too. We were the three musketeers. And today we have to say goodbye. It's too hard.

I am grateful that my Hubby, and my Girls are here with me, because for them I can be strong.

Hubby broke down and cried at the funeral today. Lizzie cried at the funeral today. S-I-L cried at the funeral today. Jam cried too.

I didn't cry.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty Two - Peace and Quiet (catch up)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for Peace and Quiet.

Yesterday Poss and her Mum and my Hubby asked me to write a poem for Uncle for his funeral on Friday...tomorrow!! As you all know, it takes more than 24 hours to write a specialised poem for someone you love. If my Hubby wants it though, he will get it. However last night, I tried to get started (while the boys drank...lots) and really didn't get very far.

So today the fellas have told me to stay home (at the holiday home we are renting for the few days we are here) and work on the poem. I think they know that I am pretty close to cracking, and want to keep me busy. As I told ex wife Ann tonight, if I don't keep part of me separate, and business-like, I will shatter, and I don't think anyone wants that right now. I need to keep it together until after the funeral. At least.

And so today I am working on the poem.(btw, it will take me until 2am, working full on to get it done to any degree of passibility.)

So the house is quiet, except for Uncle's favourite music playing in the background, bringing back lots of memories from when we were growing up together, and all those many years together in between.

By 2am, the poem is finished, everyone is in bed. Time for bed.

Thanks for the quiet time guys, I appreciate it.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty One - Birthday Cakes (catch up)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for birthday cake.

Even though today has been spent organising the funeral, seeing the celebrant, cleaning and clearing up Uncles house, it was still my birthday. Everyone still took the time and wished me a happy birthday (haha) and kissed me.

The biggest surprise was Uncle J (whom I have never been close to) went out of his way to make me a roast lamb (my fav) dinner and bought me a birthday cake and the boys (Hubby, Brother, Nephew and Uncle J) all sang happy birthday to me - very off key, but very sweet.

So thanks Uncle J, we may even be on track to be friends.

Kisses

Julie

Day Forty - Reconnecting with family (yes, still catching up)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for being able to reconnect with family we haven't seen for many years.

As I said in day thirty nine's post, some relatives we haven't seen in many years came down from
Queensland to be with us yesterday.

I am still numb, and I am just trying to keep busy. We are spending today sorting out what needs to be done, clearing Uncle's house out, trying to find the relevant paperwork etc.

I just want to say that although it is in the worst possible circumstances, it was really nice to catch up with my cousins,my aunty and my nephew. I don't want to sound trite, but it really is at times like these that you realise just how much it means to have people around you who knew you when you were a kid. People who will accept you without judging you. Not something anyone gets much of these days. Except in your family. It's true.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Nine - ICU staff (still catching up)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for the staff in the Intensive Care Unit.

This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Try and find something to be grateful for today.

We drove straight to the hospital from our motel and were there by 8.30am where a relative from Orange was there to meet us.

He showed us the way to ICU where we saw Uncle. He was attached to the life support machines, and his body was thrashing around, I didn't know it at the time, but he was fitting. I only know that I kept thinking, "this isn't him, they've made a mistake". My head knew it was real, but I couldn't quite grasp the reality of what was in front of me. I bolted. Left. Ran away.

I am finding this incredibly difficult. so just bear with me for a tic.

I came back, of course. I couldn't leave him there without letting him know that I was there and that I would do whatever it took to  do what is best for him.

After a while more of the family arrived, so along with Brother and my Hubby, there was Uncle's daughter Poss, his Ex wife (still good friends), Aunty Darling, Uncle J,  some cousins I had grown up with, ex wife's parents and new partner. A lot of people. All hoping for a miracle. And then we spoke to the specialist.

If we kept Uncle on the machines, he would remain in 'a vegetative state' for the remainder of his life. I think the staff at the ICU were surprised when we were asked if this is what Uncle would have wanted for himself, and every single one of us, at the same time said, "no way". It wasn't rehearsed, or discussed. It was just what we all knew.

And so the decision was made. The machines would be turned off. Immediately.

We gave Poss some privacy, to say her goodbyes, and it was heartbreaking to hear her cry, and wail after having been so strong before, the poor little girl just broke down and threw herself on her daddy's shoulder and said goodbye. She is only 14 years old, and much too young to lose her best friend.

Poss went out with her Mum's new partner, and the rellie from Orange and waited while the tubes were taken out and the machines turned off.

"On Monday we stood around your bed,
And Bore Witness to your last breath,
Each of us, standing strong for you,
Loving Sentinels to guard you in Death".

(this is an excerpt from the poem the family asked me to write for Uncle's funeral on Friday).

How the hell do I find something to be grateful for today? I'm trying to be strong, my poor Hubby, my poor Brother, and Uncle J and everyone, they are crying, not sure what to do.

I can't cry. I'm numb. It isn't real. Even though Hubby and I closed our dear Uncle's eyes for the last time, and I kissed his empty body goodbye. I can't cry. I'm devastated, but I can't cry. I think there is something wrong with me.

We go for a drink at the pub with Aunty Darling and the cousins. We have a nice talk and catch up. I can't cry. How can I be grateful today?

I'm grateful for the ICU nurse Sally (?) who cried to see our grief. She cried for us. Thank you.  You all do such an amazing job in the ICU, something I could never do. Thank you for your tears, and your compassion. Maybe soon I will be able to grieve.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Eight - Aeroplanes (Still Catching Up)

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for Aeroplanes.

This morning we woke very early to a phone call from Uncle's ex in Melbourne. The news isn't good I'm afraid. The doctors in ICU have said that the brain damage is so bad that Uncle will not recover any 'normal' functionality. As a family, we have a decision to make, so Brother, Hubby and I are flying over today. As soon as possible.

I am grateful that thanks to aeorplanes, it only takes 3 1/2 hours to get to Melbourne.

We got to Melbourne at 11.30pm, went straight to a motel close to the airport and are going straight to the hospital as early as we can in the morning.

Kisses

Julie

Days 38 - 47 - I will catch you all up

Hi all,

I have only just come home from Melbourne, and had no computer available, so this is the first time I have had to catch up with the blog.
What I will do is to write an entry for each day but put it all onto the one post. For those of you who make it through this monster post, congratulations, and have a cuppa on me. (Actually, I will probably post them as I go, sometimes I may do a couple posts a day and I will post it straight away, makes it a little less confusing for you, and me...)

I thought if I write it as though I was just going through the days as they occurred, I may actually get through this without falling apart.

Ok, so as you know, Friday the 18th wasn't so great,, with Uncle having had a heart attack on the bus on his way to us here in Perth for the 'Big Bash'. last we knew, he had been put into a medically induced coma and we were waiting to see how he would come out of it.

It was way too late to cancel my birthday party, and as a family, we decided that 'the show must go on', and that we needed to put on our game faces and just put everything else to the back of our minds and enjoy the night.

So...

Day Thirty Eight -  SATURDAY 19TH MARCH, 2011 - Surprise!!

Today I'm grateful for:- Surprise!!

Today I'm grateful for Surprises...I knew that my family were putting on a big'ish' party for me, but I had no idea of what was really in store for me.

From the moment the white 1968 original Mustang convertible (with a pink ribbon) arrived to pick us up to take us to the venue (The Mussel Bar - Fremantle), to when my girls hijacked me and gave me flowers to take with me into the private function room, it was a roller coaster of emotions. You will never guess what these little buggers have been planning for the past 18months! And apparently everyone knew but me...

I had some issues about turning 50, some real very valid issues. I thought I was getting old, fat and ugly and was worried that Hubby couldn't possibly love me as much as he did when I was young(er)  and a hell of a lot cuter...

He was standing at the window with a guy who looked a lot like his mate the chaplain. And his brother and our S-I-L (son-in-law) were lined up beside him and our daughters lined up next to me. In all my wisdom, I turned round to the guests (standing clapping...) and said "what the hell????". round of laughter from guests... me: "No, really... what the hell???".

My beautiful Hubby of nearly 30 years had arranged for us to renew our wedding vows on my 50th birthday.

Now, I don't know about you, but to me, that was a pretty definitive demonstration of the fact that he does indeed still love me. Good to know... nah, WONDERFUL to know.

So we had a lovely little ceremony, then this tall guy starts singing, beautifully... Earl Cole in case you were wondering.

All up, an amazing evening. Our family and friends were all dressed in their finest and looked brilliant. Even S-I-L's brother and his lovely lady came over from Sydney for the evening... Everyone went to so much trouble for me. I really couldn't believe it. I had so much fun and felt so incredibly spoilt and blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. The food was delicious, service great, the music amazing, (it may not have been to everyone's taste, but I loved it), the decorations were elegant, the bonbonaires were innovative and clever, and then our eldest daughter made me cry.

Yes dear reader, she made me cry... Lizzie made a speech about me. It was heartfelt and honest and she made me sound like a wonderful person...lol.

So, I may not usually like surprises, but this one was definitely worth it. At least to me. It made me feel special, and treasured and cherished and all those other things we all need to feel to make life worth living. Thank you to all the people who made this night possible for me, but a special thank you must go to Lizzie for all of her hard work, amazing organising skills and creativity. Ably assisted by Hubby and Jam of course. Thank you all. I love you and I am blessed to have you all in my life.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Seven - People who know CPR

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for people who know CPR.

We woke this morning to the news that my Uncle (whom I spoke about in episode "Phone Calls and Herb Gardens")  had a massive heart attack on the bus on the way to the airport this morning. He and his 14 year old daughter were on their way here for the 'Big Bash" tomorrow night.

Luckily a woman on board the bus knew CPR and promptly applied effective rresuscitation and got him breathing again until paramedics arrived at the scene.  He was however without appropriate oxygen levels for around 5 minutes, so we aren't sure whether there will be any brain damage when he wakes from the medically induced coma.

Not good news folks, and very very difficult to be positive about anything just now. I know I am glad and grateful that he is still alive, but I'm just not sure how he is going to feel about it, if his health deteriorates even further. He has said previously that his quality of life is so low at the moment that if it wasn't for his daughter, he would rather just slip away. That so totally sucks for us, but if you think about it, from his point of view, is all of the suffering really worth it? A moral dilemma. And yes, I know we should only be thinking positive and 'good' thoughts now, as the universe hears all, but quite frankly, all I want to do is cry.

I can only imagine how this has effected his little girl, who was incredibly brave and gave all the relevant information to emergency services and kept calm, only breaking down when her Mum and Mum's fiance got to her at the hospital.

Everyone should learn CPR, if it wasn't for the lady on the bus this morning, my Uncle would be dead,and we would be organising a funeral tomorrow instead. So our very heartfelt thanks and gratitude go to that lady. I wish I could tell her in person.

Kisses

Julie

PS I guess the universe didn't get my memo from yesterday...

Day Thirty Six - Challenges - Thursday 17th March 2011

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for challenges in my life.

One of the hardest things to do is to find something positive when you have only had negatives during your day. For instance,today we went to have manicures and pedicures for the party, because we are all too busy tomorrow and although we spent a small fortune, it was painful and very very stressful. Then we walked around the shops for awhile trying to get things done, most of which we couldn't do, or find etc. So instead of having a nice relaxing, fun day, just us girls, we ended up niggling and biting at each other because we were all so tired, sore and just plain disappointed. How do you find a positive in that????

Like I have said in past entries, maybe I should just take a different perspective on it. Instead of thinking it was a crappy day, I should thank the universe for sending so many challenges my way. It is only by finding ways to overcome and meet our challenges that we can grow to be closer to our higher selves.

So today, thanks for the challenges Universe. Would you mind putting them on hold for a while though? I think I have enough to work on for awhile... :)

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Five - My Glasses

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for my reading glasses.

It is only when I forget to take them with me, that I really appreciate my glasses. Without them, I certanly can't see whether the price tag says $7 or $2... hmm. They make my life so much easier.

And so, if you are feeling a little old, and that your body is wearing out, stop stressing, don't put it off, get your eyes tested and get those glasses!

Honest, you will be so glad that vanity will no longer matter.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Four - Evaluations

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for being able to evaluate my progress... or lack of it. :)

It has been over a month since I started this blog now, and it is time I took a step back to see if it is coming together like it is supposed to. Have I accomplished anything, and if so, what. What measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. Or am I just completely blowing sand up my own skirt and trying to make myself seem more important than I really am? Good questions, all of them. I particularly like the last one, as it seems very relevant somehow.

Ok, so have I accomplished anything. No. To be totally honest - (and what good would this blog be if I wasn't honest)- Nothing has changed. In fact I find I am doing less of what I was doing before I started this because I am trying to work out what I am going to say in this thing. Sometimes that is really difficult. Not that I am ungrateful for the things in my life, quite the opposite. I am grateful for so many things, but sometimes not in any deep and meaningful way. How to fix this? Um, can I get back to you on that?

Next question, what measures am I taking to discover the positives in my life. This one is a little easier, as I find that I am constantly searching for ways to increase the positives in life, and in fact to notice the positives that are already there, and that I may have overlooked. I find that I am searching through books, speaking to other people about what they are grateful for, doing basic research on the net, taking more note of what movies are around and the messages they have (if they are positive that is). I am taking notice of lots of different things actually, making notes, and this is of course taking time as well. So I am well on the way to answer this question.

Last but certainly not least, is; am I blowing sand up my own skirts in order to appear more important than I really am... Like I said, this is actually a good question. I know the original purpose of this blog was to create a positive way of appreciating what I have in my life. But along the way, I seem to have this need to give pieces of advice, to explain why I am grateful and for it to have a 'message' that is relevant to overall life in this day and age. I wonder if this is just part of being at my time in life... my kids are grown up and don't need me as much anymore, and so I guess sometimes I feel like I have had all these experiences and have wisdom that tends to go to waste. Please don't get me wrong, my kids are still coming to me for all kinds of things, and I still have that 'magic' touch when it comes to getting the advice right, but they are more often making their own decisions, and doing it better than me in some cases, lol. And that is the way it is supposed to be. I have done my job well, and now they are the ones that people go to for advice, and I am so glad of it. It is just occasionally, I feel left behind. It is also totally normal, and simply a transition period. This begs the question, is this blog just an excuse to be heard?

I had a cuppa while I mulled over the last question... and I believe the answer is no. Not really. I still believe that this blog is a way for me to make adjustments to my way of thinking. Ways for me to wake up to how life can be in the next phase of my life. How to be more positive about my age, my body and my health. Yes folks, it is "all about me". Meh, you know what I mean. About how I view the world and me within it.

Ok, so we have decided that I am probably not accomplishing very much, except getting the blog written, so I definitely have to work on that. Lists (my old friends), here we come again. Let's get the ball of productivity rolling again. I like the way I explain why I am grateful for things, so I will keep to that, maybe just make it a little more applicable. I will continue to find positives and ways to love my life in ways that are different and surprising.

All up, a good beginning to a year long project. Keep tuned people, we can only get better from here.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Three - Meditation

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for meditation.

We can define meditation as "any technique that relaxes the body and calms the mind".

Most of us have done some form of meditation at some stage in our lives, but it is reported that most of us "didn't get much out of it". I can tell you right now, what has probably happened, is that they got comfy, relaxed a little, slowed their minds a little and then they started to day-dream, fantasise or just plain fell asleep. Hence the whole, didn't get much out of it.

When I started doing Reiki, one of the biggest pluses was the form of meditation that goes along with it. It is like a zone of quality relaxation and awareness. A clarity of mind and a sense of 'now'. I have learnt that even when I am not doing reiki, I can still utilise the meditation techniques to help me through my life.

With meditation, the 'bad' days can be lessened, and I can just slow my mind and lessen the tension in my muscles. This in itself is a great way to give myself a lift during the painful times.

My only problem is that I usually don't take the time to actually do the meditation! Dope that I am, I know how much it will help, and yet I find so many reasons why I 'should' be doing something else, like sweeping the floors, doing the washing, etc. etc. etc...Guilt is a crappy way of mind.

My gift to myself for the next few weeks, is to allow myself time each day to meditate, no, not sit there watching tv, or daydreaming, really concentrating on making the meditation work for me. And maybe, with a little perseverance, I can make it into a daily ritual, keeping myself calm and thinking clearly.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty Two - Early Nights

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for having an early night.

After pulling a muscle in my neck yesterday, and referred pain down my arm today, I am grateful for the fact that I can have an early night tonight without feeling guilty or 'having' to get stuff done.

So, goodnight, see you tomorrow.

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty One - Being a Good Parent

Today I'm Grateful for:

Today I'm grateful for being a good parent.

Yes, I can prove it. Our daughters Lizzie and Jam are both grown now, one with a bub on the way, but they constantly prove to me that we have been good parents. Just the other day, while Lizzie and I were out, an elderly lady was in distress. Lizzie made the necessary phone calls, and we helped her into her taxi and on the road back to her care centre. I didn't prod her to do it, she just did it as a matter of course. Like something that should just be done, no biggie. Now, if you know my eldest girl, you will know that she is forthright, honest, has a strong sense of what is right and wrong in the world, but not usually big on 'helping' others. Unless it is to organise them, make arrangements, get them looking nice, but strangers, not usually. She will help people she loves until she bleeds, but doesn't usually go out of her way to help strangers. If it had been Jam, I wouldn't have been surprised, she does go out of her way to help strangers constantly, probably why she is going into the community services industry. And why she will be successful at it.

It makes me proud to know that our girls will do the right thing, whether I am with them or not. That we have brought them up to have manners and consideration for others. I am also confident that they will pass this along to any children they have and that they in turn will one day be as proud to be their parents as we are proud to be theirs.

My point is, these are really good people we have brought up, they have grown into caring, kind, and decent women. And yes, today I am going to take the credit and give myself a pat on the back. Well done Julie, pat pat...

 I am also very grateful that I had such a great Mum to teach me how to be a great Mum. Thanks Mum

Kisses

Julie

Day Thirty - Art supplies

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for cool art supplies.

One of the ways I have been keeping myself motivated and happy lately is through art therapy. I say therapy, but it is really just playing with paint, lol. Years ago, after my accident, I went to art classes that consisted of an elderly couple showing other people what they had learnt over the years. It was great, although I really didn't like painting landscapes, the company was nice and the tips very helpful. I continued painting for a few years, but stopped when I went back to work.

Since having to give up work, I have taken to painting again, regaining my enthusiasm and interest in learning to better my skills and what I laughingly call my technique. Since the last time I painted, all of my paints had dried up, so I had to buy new ones, deciding to try the acrylic paints, as the smell of the oil paints upsets my stomach now and the turpentine is even worse. Not to mention the fact that the acrylic paints are quite a bit cheaper. That's if you get the 'beginners' paints, obviously the better quality paints are more expensive, but for me, as a workup to doing anything remotely resembling art, the beginners paints are just perfect.

Over the past few months, I have steadily been acquiring new paints, brushes, canvases and any other supplies necessary. I am always on the lookout for supplies that are going to be on the cheaper side and also more interesting, so today when we were in the Reject shop and found some really cool canvases with premarked pictures, it was awesome. Great prices too. Ok, so they are never going to be great art, but for what I want, to practise my brushwork, technique and shading on, they are perfect. I also found a how to book on sketching faces and animals, and a colouring book (useful for transferring to a canvas) of some of the famous artists' paintings for a really reasonable price. I was stoked!

Now I can't wait to get started on my next picture. Have to wait until after the big bash on the 19th though I think. :)

Kisses

Julie

Day Twenty Nine - People who get it Right

Today I'm Grateful for:-
(Sorry I missed yesterday, had a bad end of day and missed doing my blog so doing two today)
Today I'm grateful for people who get it right.

Some of you may remember that my Hubby has had a few health problems over the past few years. Today he had some more needles to help with the pain, and hopefully this will help, but what I'm grateful for is that the doctor actually got it right the first time. If this works, they may then operate to actually free up the trapped nerves (finally). So that's one thing to be grateful for.

The other person who got it right today was our financial adviser, and we are now on the road to getting the mortgage paid off earlier so that we can retire earlier too. That's awesome.

Kisses

Julie

Day Twenty Eight - Money

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for money.

Yep, no matter how crass it sounds, I am truly grateful that we have money. No we aren't rolling in it, in fact our new mortgage is hell, but thanks to Hubby being such a hard worker, we do have enough money to make life comfortable.

I remember when we were first married, not only did we both work, but he worked 3 jobs just to make ends meet, and in fact it was incredibly difficult to make ends meet at all. We spent many years living from pay day to pay day, having to go without just about everything except the absolute basics needed to keep us alive and working. We got ourselves into credit card problems that took us years to get out of. Like I said, for quite a few years, it was tough.

Now don't get me wrong, neither of us come from wealthy families, in fact one Christmas I remember was when I was six years old. My mum (single parent) stayed up until the wee hours of the morning on the build up to the big day, knitting each of us kids one toy, I got a Panda, Uncle got a dog, and Brother got a (hang on, what did Brother get?) I can't remember. The point is, there wasn't anything else, and I also discovered that there was no santa. Do you know, I think that is my favorite Christmas - until after our own kids came along- because it showed me quite literally that we didn't need much because Mum loved us so much that she went to work all day and stayed up most of the night just to make sure there was something for us to unwrap on Christmas day.

Sorry, digressed there for a minute, I think the point I was trying to make is that although we started out doing it tough, we weren't that different to most people those days. We all had to work hard, we all had to make sacrifices, and we all learned to budget and make life better for ourselves and our families.

Now we are in our (almost for me) 50's life is easier to say the least. If you don't count health issues, we are comfortably off, like I said, not rolling in it, but we have enough to be able to help out family sometimes, have a holiday or 'big' purchase every couple of years, and always have enough so that if the microwave gets blown up (Jam using the metal edged plates...) we can just pop down to the Good Guys and pick up another one, oh and a small vacuum cleaner (so we don't have to borrow Lizzie's). That is what made me grateful today, that I didn't have to wait and save up before getting new ones.

So yes, it is wonderful to have enough money not to worry about where our next meal is coming from. Or our next holiday or special occasion.

I also wanted to mention that I believe that the more you are grateful for something, the more will come to you. Commonly known as Karmic law. So come on, join me in being grateful for all things in your life.

Kisses

Julie



Count your blessings.  A grateful heart attracts more joy, love and prosperity