Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for stubbornness.
The dictionary definition of stubbornness is: adj obstinate; persevering; determined, inflexible.
Whether you call it stubbornness, bullheadedness, being headstrong, or simply bloody minded, my family has it all in abundance!
In one of my earlier blogs, I mentioned that I have learnt (from the new pain clinic) that to change my way of thinking, I needed to question the validity of staying away from things that make the pain worse, because after all, if I didn't do (the activity) then would the pain still be there? And of course, it would. It seems that Hubby has been listening in and has decided to accept the theory as well. As I may have mentioned, he hasn't been too good lately, due to a couple of car accidents and a fall down the stairs at work, he too is in constant, chronic pain and so has curtailed most of the things he enjoys doing, or even the things he needs to do.
After not getting to sleep until the early hours of this morning, I woke at 11am to find Hubby outside, sweat soaked, red-faced, and in agonising pain, doing the gardening. Now, I was pretty angry with him, and after beating my head against a brick wall trying to explain that he had got the whole pain clinic theory incredibly wrong, I couldn't help but admire his tenacity. He just would NOT stop doing what he said he needed to get done.
Our whole family has this incredible propensity for not letting circumstances stop us from finishing a job. We tend to 'push it through', until it is done, or we collapse. It may not be the most intelligent way of doing something, but we are consistent! Since doing the course at the clinic, I have been trying (in vain it seems) to educate the other three as to how to accomplish our goals without injuring ourselves. Lizzie is doing well with it, Jam has taken it to the other extreme (so needs to work out a more efficient approach) and Hubby, well, he has just taken what he thinks he knows and run with it... I have my work cut out for me with him... oh well...
And so, in order for me to find something positive about this particular situation, I need to rethink how I feel about stubbornness. In the past, it has always meant that someone was going to end up hurting, and although that may still be the case, at least I can admire the strength of mind that goes with being able to be so incredibly singleminded. Maybe I can say they are: firm; strong; dogged; or that they are persevering; unremitting; constant. This may give me a different perspective and just appreciate the effort they have gone to, and not only think about the pain they are going to be in. We all hate to see the people we love in pain, but I guess with the situation that we are all in, I need to be less overprotective and help them to overcome their issues the same way they are helping me to overcome my own. Is that tough love, I don't think so, because I'm still going to worry, I just won't show it as much. That will be a good thing for all of us. The one thing I will never, ever say is 'toughen up princess"!! That is a suck of a saying, very derogatory.
The upside to this is that by the end of today, Hubby (with a little help from me) had cleared out the large geranium around the gum tree in front, and weeded two of the rose gardens. It may not seem much to anyone else, but it has already made a huge difference to the aesthetics of the front yard. And made him feel like he has accomplished something useful, and that my dears, is priceless.
So bring on the stubbornness, oops, I mean stoic perserverance. :)
Kisses
Julie
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Day Eighteen - Phone calls and Herb Gardens
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for phone calls and herb gardens.
One of my all time best friends phoned me today, he lives in Melbourne now (Rosebud actually), and so I don't get to see him very often. But he phones at least once a week to wish me a happy day and see how we are all going. Just because he happens to be my Uncle doesn't change the fact that he is my best friend. He is only two years older than me, and for much of our lives, was brought up with my brother and I, and so Uncle is more like a brother to us.
When we were little, Uncle and I were called the 'terrible twins', mostly because of the mischief we used to get into together... ah, good times...lol.
He is the kind of person who you can talk to about anything, he helps me dream up characters and ways to make my imaginary worlds and creatures more lifelike, and sharing coffee while discussing the merits of religious beliefs, and I listen to him when he gets on his 'If I were King' rants. lol. He always makes me laugh, and I never have to explain the way I sometimes feel like hiding away in a cave. he just gets it, and what more could you want in a friend?
Anyway, he has been pretty sick over the past few years, a heart by-pass operation, daily dialysis and all the assorted problems that go along with these health issues. He recently had to move house by himself, as he doesn't have anyone to help - except his 14year old daughter - and nearly wrecked himself in the act. You have to understand, before he became really sick he had always been very fit, active and independent, and so he was pretty down for awhile, because he hated not being able to do things for himself. I have been pretty worried about him, wishing that I could have helped in some way... I have spoken to him on and off over the past few weeks, but he has seemed, I don't know, just not really himself.
So today, he phoned. He was sooo happy, sounded really relaxed and eager to share his newest addition to his new home... his herb garden... we have a shared love of herbs, for their looks, smells, textures and not to mention the exquisite tastes and metaphysical attributes they have. He has potted a whole heap of herbs- including parsley, basil, oregano, chives, and mint- into neat little pots and put them on the windowsill. He told me how they have already grown a little and the scent of mint as he moves through the garden is bringing back memories of when we were younger. He just sounded like the Uncle of old. It brought a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.
So here's to herb gardens and shared memories.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for phone calls and herb gardens.
One of my all time best friends phoned me today, he lives in Melbourne now (Rosebud actually), and so I don't get to see him very often. But he phones at least once a week to wish me a happy day and see how we are all going. Just because he happens to be my Uncle doesn't change the fact that he is my best friend. He is only two years older than me, and for much of our lives, was brought up with my brother and I, and so Uncle is more like a brother to us.
When we were little, Uncle and I were called the 'terrible twins', mostly because of the mischief we used to get into together... ah, good times...lol.
He is the kind of person who you can talk to about anything, he helps me dream up characters and ways to make my imaginary worlds and creatures more lifelike, and sharing coffee while discussing the merits of religious beliefs, and I listen to him when he gets on his 'If I were King' rants. lol. He always makes me laugh, and I never have to explain the way I sometimes feel like hiding away in a cave. he just gets it, and what more could you want in a friend?
Anyway, he has been pretty sick over the past few years, a heart by-pass operation, daily dialysis and all the assorted problems that go along with these health issues. He recently had to move house by himself, as he doesn't have anyone to help - except his 14year old daughter - and nearly wrecked himself in the act. You have to understand, before he became really sick he had always been very fit, active and independent, and so he was pretty down for awhile, because he hated not being able to do things for himself. I have been pretty worried about him, wishing that I could have helped in some way... I have spoken to him on and off over the past few weeks, but he has seemed, I don't know, just not really himself.
So today, he phoned. He was sooo happy, sounded really relaxed and eager to share his newest addition to his new home... his herb garden... we have a shared love of herbs, for their looks, smells, textures and not to mention the exquisite tastes and metaphysical attributes they have. He has potted a whole heap of herbs- including parsley, basil, oregano, chives, and mint- into neat little pots and put them on the windowsill. He told me how they have already grown a little and the scent of mint as he moves through the garden is bringing back memories of when we were younger. He just sounded like the Uncle of old. It brought a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.
So here's to herb gardens and shared memories.
Kisses
Julie
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Day Seventeen - A Roof
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for a roof over my head.
I am so glad that today I can find more to be grateful about, yesterday was crappy. But today I can think of so many things, you know, the normal stuff like, family, friends, enough food to eat, clothes to wear, etc, etc, etc... And so today, it is a roof over my head, especially this roof.
The house we used to live in never felt like home, no matter that we built it from the ground up, there was just something about the house that never felt welcoming or home-like. This house is completely different, it has felt like home from the time I first came in here, and it's not just the garden. It is the dimensions of the house, the way the rooms are set out. Just the general feel of the place. Do you know what I mean?
So not only is it a roof over my head, somewhere to keep out the rain and bad weather, but a place to dream and create, somewhere to love my family, to keep my memories, a place to really call home.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for a roof over my head.
I am so glad that today I can find more to be grateful about, yesterday was crappy. But today I can think of so many things, you know, the normal stuff like, family, friends, enough food to eat, clothes to wear, etc, etc, etc... And so today, it is a roof over my head, especially this roof.
The house we used to live in never felt like home, no matter that we built it from the ground up, there was just something about the house that never felt welcoming or home-like. This house is completely different, it has felt like home from the time I first came in here, and it's not just the garden. It is the dimensions of the house, the way the rooms are set out. Just the general feel of the place. Do you know what I mean?
So not only is it a roof over my head, somewhere to keep out the rain and bad weather, but a place to dream and create, somewhere to love my family, to keep my memories, a place to really call home.
Kisses
Julie
Friday, February 25, 2011
Day Sixteen - Not Dead Yet
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for not waking up dead.
There are some days when that's really all I can come up with. There's not much really wrong with me, just sore and really, really overtired, with an underlying misery that is not connected to anything at all. On days like this, it is difficult to find anything to be grateful for, mostly because I feel like I just don't give a rats bum about anything to do with me. It's days like this that the 'blackness' descends, when I feel like I'm not much of a human being. And no, I don't need reassurances, it will go away. I guess I can be grateful for that, at least I know that it will go. Some people don't get to that point. And I can be grateful for the fact that it usually doesn't last too long.
So today I guess I'm grateful for the fact that I'm not dead and I get a chance to find something fantastic to be grateful for tomorrow. I will. At least, I'll try.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for not waking up dead.
There are some days when that's really all I can come up with. There's not much really wrong with me, just sore and really, really overtired, with an underlying misery that is not connected to anything at all. On days like this, it is difficult to find anything to be grateful for, mostly because I feel like I just don't give a rats bum about anything to do with me. It's days like this that the 'blackness' descends, when I feel like I'm not much of a human being. And no, I don't need reassurances, it will go away. I guess I can be grateful for that, at least I know that it will go. Some people don't get to that point. And I can be grateful for the fact that it usually doesn't last too long.
So today I guess I'm grateful for the fact that I'm not dead and I get a chance to find something fantastic to be grateful for tomorrow. I will. At least, I'll try.
Kisses
Julie
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day Fifteen - Sounding Boards
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for the people in my life I can use as sounding boards.
Whenever I'm worried about something, like I was today, I have amazing people in my life who will listen, without judgment, or necessarily trying to 'solve' my problem for me. Even when they are tired or not feeling up to helping, they still always stop what they are doing and give me their undivided attention. If I need suggestions as to how to deal with the problem, they will also give their opinions and options, freely and without expectation that I will 'take' their advice. They understand that I am quite able to choose my own solutions to a problem, but that more than likely I will listen to what a couple of different people say, as well as my own observations and 'pick' pieces of information and use them together to create a solution that suits me.
I am happy to say that I do this for my family and friends as well, always knowing that I am only a sounding board, not "Dear Abbie" and unlike some people I know, I never, ever, get upset if someone doesn't choose to take my advice to heart. After all, we all make our own choices, and live with the consequences. Why is this such a hard concept for some people to accept?
I am very grateful for those people who are there for me, and never begrudge it.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for the people in my life I can use as sounding boards.
Whenever I'm worried about something, like I was today, I have amazing people in my life who will listen, without judgment, or necessarily trying to 'solve' my problem for me. Even when they are tired or not feeling up to helping, they still always stop what they are doing and give me their undivided attention. If I need suggestions as to how to deal with the problem, they will also give their opinions and options, freely and without expectation that I will 'take' their advice. They understand that I am quite able to choose my own solutions to a problem, but that more than likely I will listen to what a couple of different people say, as well as my own observations and 'pick' pieces of information and use them together to create a solution that suits me.
I am happy to say that I do this for my family and friends as well, always knowing that I am only a sounding board, not "Dear Abbie" and unlike some people I know, I never, ever, get upset if someone doesn't choose to take my advice to heart. After all, we all make our own choices, and live with the consequences. Why is this such a hard concept for some people to accept?
I am very grateful for those people who are there for me, and never begrudge it.
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Day Fourteen - Junk Mail
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for junk mail.
Yes, yes, I know, I am coming up with some weird stuff to be grateful for, but today it seems relevant somehow.
After being housebound for a couple of days, I was eager to get a hold of the latest Innovations catalogue that was delivered to my home.
As a woman, I am supposed to love the whole shopping till I drop type of thing, but to be honest, I really don't like shopping - except Christmas shopping for my family and friends - I don't like the crowds, the bad smells, or the fact that I hurt all over when I'm barely even done. Clothes shopping is a nightmare, and grocery shopping is just a necessary evil.
So anyway, I like to take five minutes and browse through catalogues, sometimes ordering things and sometimes even getting what I order without them screwing it up.
My point today is that as I was going through the catalogue, I was thinking to myself "wow, who the heck would buy a dress that ugly?" and I laughed. Giggled in fact. The clothes were, what my fashion savvy daughters would call, hideous sacks. And then I stopped to think, yes, I know, hard to imagine...but think I did, who would buy these clothes? People who couldn't get out and about to find clothes in 'normal' shops, people who were either too embarrassed, too busy, the elderly, the infirm. When you think about it, there are a lot of people out there who simply can't get to the shops to buy a new outfit or something for their homes. How do they cope? Just how many of these isolated people are out there? People who either don't know how or are too proud to ask for help. It is an interesting question and a disquieting one. It made me look at those "hideous sacks" in a whole new light. What if I was housebound permanently? Would I too just check out the catalogues and choose a dress based only on comfort and whether it had a pretty print? Probably.
So my point is, the catalogues may just be a nuisance to some, a waste of paper to others, a source of an enjoyable five minutes to me, but to some people, it may be the difference between sitting home alone, or sitting home alone in a pretty print dress. Wait, that's not what I wanted to say...really, it's not. What I wanted to say was that maybe the catalogues aren't just a nuisance, maybe they serve a purpose deeper than what the general public sees... maybe they are a link to the community for some, a way of finding ways to beautify their homes, tools for the garden and innovative equipment for use by the disabled, not to mention those print dresses.
I think I will put a sign on my letter box... "junk mail welcomed here, and thanks".
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for junk mail.
Yes, yes, I know, I am coming up with some weird stuff to be grateful for, but today it seems relevant somehow.
After being housebound for a couple of days, I was eager to get a hold of the latest Innovations catalogue that was delivered to my home.
As a woman, I am supposed to love the whole shopping till I drop type of thing, but to be honest, I really don't like shopping - except Christmas shopping for my family and friends - I don't like the crowds, the bad smells, or the fact that I hurt all over when I'm barely even done. Clothes shopping is a nightmare, and grocery shopping is just a necessary evil.
So anyway, I like to take five minutes and browse through catalogues, sometimes ordering things and sometimes even getting what I order without them screwing it up.
My point today is that as I was going through the catalogue, I was thinking to myself "wow, who the heck would buy a dress that ugly?" and I laughed. Giggled in fact. The clothes were, what my fashion savvy daughters would call, hideous sacks. And then I stopped to think, yes, I know, hard to imagine...but think I did, who would buy these clothes? People who couldn't get out and about to find clothes in 'normal' shops, people who were either too embarrassed, too busy, the elderly, the infirm. When you think about it, there are a lot of people out there who simply can't get to the shops to buy a new outfit or something for their homes. How do they cope? Just how many of these isolated people are out there? People who either don't know how or are too proud to ask for help. It is an interesting question and a disquieting one. It made me look at those "hideous sacks" in a whole new light. What if I was housebound permanently? Would I too just check out the catalogues and choose a dress based only on comfort and whether it had a pretty print? Probably.
So my point is, the catalogues may just be a nuisance to some, a waste of paper to others, a source of an enjoyable five minutes to me, but to some people, it may be the difference between sitting home alone, or sitting home alone in a pretty print dress. Wait, that's not what I wanted to say...really, it's not. What I wanted to say was that maybe the catalogues aren't just a nuisance, maybe they serve a purpose deeper than what the general public sees... maybe they are a link to the community for some, a way of finding ways to beautify their homes, tools for the garden and innovative equipment for use by the disabled, not to mention those print dresses.
I think I will put a sign on my letter box... "junk mail welcomed here, and thanks".
Kisses
Julie
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day Thirteen - Television
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for TV.
Somedays all you want to do(or are able to do) is sit back and veg and watch some crap on tele. And foxtel provides plenty of crap, I mean, meaningful, educating programs... hehehe, well sometimes maybe they do, mostly I just scroll through and say stuff like "87 channels, and there's nothing to watch!". But at least I have the opportunity to spend time doing this if I want. And of course there are the dvds. I love movies, old ones, new ones, funny ones, serious dramas, everything except horror. So I'm thankful for movies, when I am having a day when I can't move at all, my beautiful Jam sets me up in bed with one of my favourite movies, a well made cup of tea and either sits with me for the hundredth time, or comes in to check on me every half hour. You may think I am being a slacker and just want to be coddled, but believe me when I say, I don't like being so useless that I cant contribute to the family. So the whole tv thing doesn't happen too often, but when it does, at least I know I can try normal tv, foxtel or a dvd to help me through the dark days.
Thanks tv, thanks movie makers and actors, you keep us going. Awesome (nearly as good as books, but not quite)
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for TV.
Somedays all you want to do(or are able to do) is sit back and veg and watch some crap on tele. And foxtel provides plenty of crap, I mean, meaningful, educating programs... hehehe, well sometimes maybe they do, mostly I just scroll through and say stuff like "87 channels, and there's nothing to watch!". But at least I have the opportunity to spend time doing this if I want. And of course there are the dvds. I love movies, old ones, new ones, funny ones, serious dramas, everything except horror. So I'm thankful for movies, when I am having a day when I can't move at all, my beautiful Jam sets me up in bed with one of my favourite movies, a well made cup of tea and either sits with me for the hundredth time, or comes in to check on me every half hour. You may think I am being a slacker and just want to be coddled, but believe me when I say, I don't like being so useless that I cant contribute to the family. So the whole tv thing doesn't happen too often, but when it does, at least I know I can try normal tv, foxtel or a dvd to help me through the dark days.
Thanks tv, thanks movie makers and actors, you keep us going. Awesome (nearly as good as books, but not quite)
Kisses
Julie
Monday, February 21, 2011
Day Twelve - Dark Rooms
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for a quiet, dark room and a comfortable bed. Yup, full body migraine all day. Feeling a little better now, and I'm very grateful for that, and for a Hubby who fixed dinner. :)
Still feeling a bit fragile now, so I'm going to go for today.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for a quiet, dark room and a comfortable bed. Yup, full body migraine all day. Feeling a little better now, and I'm very grateful for that, and for a Hubby who fixed dinner. :)
Still feeling a bit fragile now, so I'm going to go for today.
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Day Eleven - Cool Days
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for a break in the hot weather.
Unlike a lot of West Australians, I don't like the summer. I spend 90% of my time inside with the curtains shut and the air-conditioner on full blast and doing as little as possible so I don't get overheated. It's not that I don't like the heat, it's just that the heat really doesn't like me. I get disgustingly bad migraines at the first sign of a day over 27 degrees.
Trust me, the other day my daughter Jam was taking me to the shops, and I only had to sit in her car (that had been sitting in the sun) for half a minute before the migraine came on. Nasty one too. Lasted 2 days. Icky. and yes, that is the technical term...
So today when I woke, it was overcast, windy and a damn sight cooler, I revelled in it! I have accomplished heaps today, catching up on the mountain of washing, unstacked the dishes, tidied up a bit, anyway you get the idea. I feel great, considering. And right now, I'm going to get a cup of tea, and take it outside to sit on the swing and just contemplate the world. Yep, great day.
See you tomorrow.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for a break in the hot weather.
Unlike a lot of West Australians, I don't like the summer. I spend 90% of my time inside with the curtains shut and the air-conditioner on full blast and doing as little as possible so I don't get overheated. It's not that I don't like the heat, it's just that the heat really doesn't like me. I get disgustingly bad migraines at the first sign of a day over 27 degrees.
Trust me, the other day my daughter Jam was taking me to the shops, and I only had to sit in her car (that had been sitting in the sun) for half a minute before the migraine came on. Nasty one too. Lasted 2 days. Icky. and yes, that is the technical term...
So today when I woke, it was overcast, windy and a damn sight cooler, I revelled in it! I have accomplished heaps today, catching up on the mountain of washing, unstacked the dishes, tidied up a bit, anyway you get the idea. I feel great, considering. And right now, I'm going to get a cup of tea, and take it outside to sit on the swing and just contemplate the world. Yep, great day.
See you tomorrow.
Kisses
Julie
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Day Ten - Lame Jokes
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for lame jokes... yep, that's what I said, lame jokes...
It was while searching for something amusing to add to Hubby's lunch box yesterday, that I thought about our family's ongoing competition... who can come up with the lamest joke of the day. It's fairly even going, as most of us are pretty lame anyway. lol
Somedays, it doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, sometimes it just has to get us through the day! And lame jokes help with that. Always, and just to prove it, here's what I put in Hubby's lunch box:
In the News:
Zoo Keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves "sh*t happens".
or do you prefer one of these?
A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: "I have been engaged to a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?"
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.
I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.
If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
I win, I win! (the competition) At least for today... :)
Yay for lame jokes!
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for lame jokes... yep, that's what I said, lame jokes...
It was while searching for something amusing to add to Hubby's lunch box yesterday, that I thought about our family's ongoing competition... who can come up with the lamest joke of the day. It's fairly even going, as most of us are pretty lame anyway. lol
Somedays, it doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, sometimes it just has to get us through the day! And lame jokes help with that. Always, and just to prove it, here's what I put in Hubby's lunch box:
In the News:
Zoo Keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves "sh*t happens".
or do you prefer one of these?
I win, I win! (the competition) At least for today... :)
Yay for lame jokes!
Kisses
Julie
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day Nine - Daughters
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for my daughters.
I could dribble on for hours about how wonderful, amazing, talented, intelligent and beautiful (inside and out) my girls are, but that's a given. All mothers think their kids are the best. Today I want to share something that's not always so clear, not always apparent.
I'm not even sure if I can put into words what I mean, but I will give it a go...
We spend all of their lives guiding, encouraging and assuring our children of our support to achieve their goals and continue to do this all their lives. We all know of the sacrifices parents make so their children can have what they need. Just so that they can realise their dreams.
But tell me: How many children help their parents to realise their dreams?
How many children even know their parents well enough to know what their dreams are?
How many children know what their parents were like as young people? What they did for fun, what they wanted from life.
Our children know. They care enough about us to ask questions about what it is that we did when we were young, how we fell in love, the problems of navy life. And they ask us, what makes us happy?
Ok, so lots of kids might be interested in their parents previous lives, but how many of these loving offspring, physically go out of their way to ensure that some of these dreams are realised?
As you probably know by now, my life has been filled with challenges, and I end up being frustrated, angry, depressed, and stuck in a rut, a lot...
Our girls are always there, always coming up with ways to put the joy back into life, to help improve my health, to support me in my latest faze, whether it's painting a weird cat or prodding me to continue to write, they are always there.
But do you know, sometimes they truly amaze me, they go way above and beyond the call of duty. The things they do and the gifts they give, are always very carefully thought out, but sometimes what they do brings me to tears, happy tears. From golden hearts to keep us close, and today (which is what sparked this entry) to my younger daughter getting my poetry published into a real book - and lets face it, so many other wonderful things, they won't fit on this page.
What this does show, is that I am blessed to have these two extraordinary people in my life. Their generosity of spirit, their love, their vision and their honesty on this journey through the universe with me, is what keeps me sane... oh well, you get the idea :)
I don't think I have been very lucid or anything today, I'm still overwhelmed by having one of my own dreams realised, that I'm not being very coherent. haha
Anyway, thanks to my beautiful girls for everything, and for today, thanks Jam.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for my daughters.
I could dribble on for hours about how wonderful, amazing, talented, intelligent and beautiful (inside and out) my girls are, but that's a given. All mothers think their kids are the best. Today I want to share something that's not always so clear, not always apparent.
I'm not even sure if I can put into words what I mean, but I will give it a go...
We spend all of their lives guiding, encouraging and assuring our children of our support to achieve their goals and continue to do this all their lives. We all know of the sacrifices parents make so their children can have what they need. Just so that they can realise their dreams.
But tell me: How many children help their parents to realise their dreams?
How many children even know their parents well enough to know what their dreams are?
How many children know what their parents were like as young people? What they did for fun, what they wanted from life.
Our children know. They care enough about us to ask questions about what it is that we did when we were young, how we fell in love, the problems of navy life. And they ask us, what makes us happy?
Ok, so lots of kids might be interested in their parents previous lives, but how many of these loving offspring, physically go out of their way to ensure that some of these dreams are realised?
As you probably know by now, my life has been filled with challenges, and I end up being frustrated, angry, depressed, and stuck in a rut, a lot...
Our girls are always there, always coming up with ways to put the joy back into life, to help improve my health, to support me in my latest faze, whether it's painting a weird cat or prodding me to continue to write, they are always there.
But do you know, sometimes they truly amaze me, they go way above and beyond the call of duty. The things they do and the gifts they give, are always very carefully thought out, but sometimes what they do brings me to tears, happy tears. From golden hearts to keep us close, and today (which is what sparked this entry) to my younger daughter getting my poetry published into a real book - and lets face it, so many other wonderful things, they won't fit on this page.
What this does show, is that I am blessed to have these two extraordinary people in my life. Their generosity of spirit, their love, their vision and their honesty on this journey through the universe with me, is what keeps me sane... oh well, you get the idea :)
I don't think I have been very lucid or anything today, I'm still overwhelmed by having one of my own dreams realised, that I'm not being very coherent. haha
Anyway, thanks to my beautiful girls for everything, and for today, thanks Jam.
Kisses
Julie
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day Eight - Kindness
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I’m Grateful for Kindness
This week has been National Kindness week, with today being National Kindness Day.
When I was a little girl, my mother used to do Random Acts of Kindness all the time, and taught me that it was a wonderful way to keep kindness in your heart. The first one I can remember, I was very little, we were at a local shop and the elderly lady in front of us was a little short of money for her grocery bill, so Mum just very quietly told the cashier that she would settle the difference. No fuss, no grandstanding, just quietly settling the problem. The elderly lady was very grateful and Mum just smiled her beautiful smile and we left.
All through her life she just did it, she didn’t think it was anything unusual, as she said, “it’s just the right thing to do”.
National Kindness Day got me thinking about the people who have gone out of their way to be kind to me throughout my life. There has been so very many, it’s hard to pick just one or two to share.
I know one thing I will always remember; when Hubby and I were first married, we moved to Sydney
The kindness I would like to mark is the lovely people who lived next door to us. It was an older lady and her brother and their dog Gus.
Even before bub came along, once they found out that I was alone, the lady would come over and see if I was ok, before offering ‘afternoon tea’ - Just like high tea, with cakes and little china tea cups- her brother would come over and see if I needed help with the little home maintenance thigs that would normally be done by Hubby. And the dog Gus would lick my face when I was crying. When bub came along, they bought her a lovely silver moneybox, and a silver charm bracelet, and lots of lovely compliments on how well I was doing. They never intruded, were always respectful, and the great thing is, that even though the brother died a few years ago, we still get a Christmas card from her every year. This year when I sent her Christmas card, I let her know how much she and her brother meant to me and that my little girl was now having a child of her own.
And just recently, with those terrible bush fires so close to us, one of our friends phoned us to say that even though they were going out, if we needed to evacuate, they had set up the spare room and to let ourselves in through the back door. How wonderful to know we have friends like that.
I like to think that my Mum’s thoughtfulness was passed along to me, I do try to keep in mind that Kindness should be a daily thing, not once a year. And yes, I practice Random Acts of Kindness constantly.
I found a really cool website today while surfing, it is www.helpothers.org and in it they said: “We are surrounded by kindness every day. Unfortunately, we get so wrapped in life that we forget to stop and smell the roses, as they say, or witness the acts of kindness that surround us each day. Little acts of kindness and love are the best parts of our lives. As the Dalai Lama said, “When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us to develop inner happiness and peace.”
So today, I am grateful for all those little kindnesses that others have done for me and will continue to conduct Random Acts Of Kindness for others.
Will you?
Kisses
Julie
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Day Seven - Knees
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for my knees...
I was just watching a tv program that said, if you want to lose weight (as I do) try running up stairs, and I laughed out loud saying that I can't even walk upstairs let alone run.
So many people take the 'normal' things like going up a flight of stairs, walking the dog or getting your '30 minutes a day' for granted. Really, if you are in chronic pain all the time, just doing these things takes a conscious effort. More than an effort, you physically have to force yourself to keep moving. So what happens if your knees are swollen and riddled with arthritis? You can't just jog up a flight of stairs, and if you walk too far, and the pain sets in, you can't get home again. I could complain about my knees and the pain they cause for ages, but that isn't what this blog is all about is it?
How do you take such a huge negative (like arthritic pain) and turn it into a positive? I had to think for awhile about this, partly because I have had a few bad pain days in a row, and am getting quite down about it again, and partly because I can't think how anyone could possibly think that anything about being in pain is a positive thing.
Only it is...
think about it, I might not have any feeling in my legs at all! I could be wheelchair bound, I could be on crutches (painful in itself). At least my knees still work - not as well as I would like - but damn it, they still get me from A to B, I'm not reliant on anyone to bathe me, I can go shopping if I want. You know what, my knees should be thanked everyday, instead of being told they are 'bad' knees!
That reminds me of a book I read a while ago, and in it, it says "stop trash-talking your bod! If you want to talk to or about your long-suffering parts, fine, but remember: you'd be up a creek without them." and "A sore knee is not a 'bad' knee; try 'tender' instead. Big legs are strong; why label them 'fat'?
Dahn yoga (aka Dahnhak) is a modernised version of an ancient Korean holistic-health program... while standing, clap your hard-working hips (for example) repeatedly with your cupped palms and shout, "I love my sexy hips!" Pat (hard) all around your hips - front, back, sides - and keep telling them how much they mean to you. (If you're not chanting, at least exhale through your mouth and think loving thoughts!) Choose any part - every part- and express your love for it, out loud and often, while patting or rubbing it (stimulating circulation) with your hands. Don't forget your beautiful face and your powerful brain.
Ok, so I may not be pounding on my knees (or anywhere else) anytime soon, but I will definitely be changing my mental monologue and my attitude about my body. I may even share some of the new 'mindspeach" with you. Maybe.
Today, I'm just saying "Thanks Knees, you're awesome, hope you feel better soon."
Kisses
Julie
*Ref: 50 ways to leave your 40s by Sheila Key & Peggy Spencer, MD
Today I'm grateful for my knees...
I was just watching a tv program that said, if you want to lose weight (as I do) try running up stairs, and I laughed out loud saying that I can't even walk upstairs let alone run.
So many people take the 'normal' things like going up a flight of stairs, walking the dog or getting your '30 minutes a day' for granted. Really, if you are in chronic pain all the time, just doing these things takes a conscious effort. More than an effort, you physically have to force yourself to keep moving. So what happens if your knees are swollen and riddled with arthritis? You can't just jog up a flight of stairs, and if you walk too far, and the pain sets in, you can't get home again. I could complain about my knees and the pain they cause for ages, but that isn't what this blog is all about is it?
How do you take such a huge negative (like arthritic pain) and turn it into a positive? I had to think for awhile about this, partly because I have had a few bad pain days in a row, and am getting quite down about it again, and partly because I can't think how anyone could possibly think that anything about being in pain is a positive thing.
Only it is...
think about it, I might not have any feeling in my legs at all! I could be wheelchair bound, I could be on crutches (painful in itself). At least my knees still work - not as well as I would like - but damn it, they still get me from A to B, I'm not reliant on anyone to bathe me, I can go shopping if I want. You know what, my knees should be thanked everyday, instead of being told they are 'bad' knees!
That reminds me of a book I read a while ago, and in it, it says "stop trash-talking your bod! If you want to talk to or about your long-suffering parts, fine, but remember: you'd be up a creek without them." and "A sore knee is not a 'bad' knee; try 'tender' instead. Big legs are strong; why label them 'fat'?
Dahn yoga (aka Dahnhak) is a modernised version of an ancient Korean holistic-health program... while standing, clap your hard-working hips (for example) repeatedly with your cupped palms and shout, "I love my sexy hips!" Pat (hard) all around your hips - front, back, sides - and keep telling them how much they mean to you. (If you're not chanting, at least exhale through your mouth and think loving thoughts!) Choose any part - every part- and express your love for it, out loud and often, while patting or rubbing it (stimulating circulation) with your hands. Don't forget your beautiful face and your powerful brain.
Ok, so I may not be pounding on my knees (or anywhere else) anytime soon, but I will definitely be changing my mental monologue and my attitude about my body. I may even share some of the new 'mindspeach" with you. Maybe.
Today, I'm just saying "Thanks Knees, you're awesome, hope you feel better soon."
Kisses
Julie
*Ref: 50 ways to leave your 40s by Sheila Key & Peggy Spencer, MD
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Day Six - Doctors
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for finding understanding Doctors...
A weird thing to be grateful for, but believe me, after so many years of being told that "it's all in your mind" and that I should just "learn to live with it", to actually find a doctor - or in this case a few in the past few weeks - who not only listens, but actually tries to make life more bearable for us, it is really a wonderful thing. To have a Doctor actually say to us, yes, I know how I can help you... and make the necessary arrangements to do so, yep, awesome.
It can really be heartbreaking to have people who are supposedly well educated dismiss you as being a drama queen or that you are seeking attention, trying to get out of doing the housework (yes, a so called pain management specialist actually said that to me), sometimes you actually start to wonder if you really are going crazy. Not so cool. So when you find a doctor who looks right at you and says that he believes you, and that he wants to help. Damn, its a great feeling.
Someone did this for my beautiful pregnant Lizzie today... (she has the same disease as I do, not the best thing to pass along...) and the great thing is, that such a little thing made so much difference to how she feels about the birth, that she burst into tears (happy tears) right there in the hallway! It was lovely. Whoops, not that she was crying, but that she was happy and relieved. :)
So, to all those Doctors who actually believe the oath they took, and do not dismiss us as unimportant, who take the time to listen, who keep up with the new research and literally can't wait to pass it along to their patients, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for finding understanding Doctors...
A weird thing to be grateful for, but believe me, after so many years of being told that "it's all in your mind" and that I should just "learn to live with it", to actually find a doctor - or in this case a few in the past few weeks - who not only listens, but actually tries to make life more bearable for us, it is really a wonderful thing. To have a Doctor actually say to us, yes, I know how I can help you... and make the necessary arrangements to do so, yep, awesome.
It can really be heartbreaking to have people who are supposedly well educated dismiss you as being a drama queen or that you are seeking attention, trying to get out of doing the housework (yes, a so called pain management specialist actually said that to me), sometimes you actually start to wonder if you really are going crazy. Not so cool. So when you find a doctor who looks right at you and says that he believes you, and that he wants to help. Damn, its a great feeling.
Someone did this for my beautiful pregnant Lizzie today... (she has the same disease as I do, not the best thing to pass along...) and the great thing is, that such a little thing made so much difference to how she feels about the birth, that she burst into tears (happy tears) right there in the hallway! It was lovely. Whoops, not that she was crying, but that she was happy and relieved. :)
So, to all those Doctors who actually believe the oath they took, and do not dismiss us as unimportant, who take the time to listen, who keep up with the new research and literally can't wait to pass it along to their patients, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Kisses
Julie
Monday, February 14, 2011
Day Five - A world within a world
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for our garden...
All of my life I have lived in the suburbs, rows and rows of houses with small yards and nosey neighbors. At least what I can remember, apparently when I was a baby, we lived on a farm with red earth, and I used to scoot around on my butt, making my nappies pink! But that's a whole different story. :)
Last year we moved to a rural area. Our block is 1/2 an acre, in a cul-de-sac with a park at either end of the road. The neighbors are friendly but quiet (most of the time), there are certainly not the gang 'disagreements' we had back in our last place.
Anyway, our garden... OMG! It was love at first sight.
When we drove up to view the house the first time, there was this little sandstone cottage with blue trim, nestled serenely in the middle of masses of red and yellow roses. The grass was deep green and spongy to walk on with a huge gum tree shading the front of the driveway. Wow, what a difference. That wasn't the only difference, the neighbors stopped what they were doing and waved at us! Dude, I was like, looking around to see who they were looking at! Honest... So we moved into the house and loved it, neat, tidy and smaller than what we had. Everything we wanted. And then it happened.
We went outside.
Looking from the back door down to the back, it was like we were in a private park, lush green grass spread before us, bordered by all manner of trees and bushes, there are gum trees, conifers, wattle trees, roses, geraniums, azaleas, hibiscus and bushes I don't even know the name of. It was a riot of colour and shapes, the textures were incredible. And the birds, there are parrots of all kinds, kookaburras in the mornings, starlings, yellow wrens, and more that I am learning every day.
At least once a day, I take a cuppa out to our swing and just sit... watching this amazing world within a world go by. It's better than meditation and more emotionally balancing than any therapy session could ever be.
Thanks Garden
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for our garden...
All of my life I have lived in the suburbs, rows and rows of houses with small yards and nosey neighbors. At least what I can remember, apparently when I was a baby, we lived on a farm with red earth, and I used to scoot around on my butt, making my nappies pink! But that's a whole different story. :)
Last year we moved to a rural area. Our block is 1/2 an acre, in a cul-de-sac with a park at either end of the road. The neighbors are friendly but quiet (most of the time), there are certainly not the gang 'disagreements' we had back in our last place.
Anyway, our garden... OMG! It was love at first sight.
When we drove up to view the house the first time, there was this little sandstone cottage with blue trim, nestled serenely in the middle of masses of red and yellow roses. The grass was deep green and spongy to walk on with a huge gum tree shading the front of the driveway. Wow, what a difference. That wasn't the only difference, the neighbors stopped what they were doing and waved at us! Dude, I was like, looking around to see who they were looking at! Honest... So we moved into the house and loved it, neat, tidy and smaller than what we had. Everything we wanted. And then it happened.
We went outside.
Looking from the back door down to the back, it was like we were in a private park, lush green grass spread before us, bordered by all manner of trees and bushes, there are gum trees, conifers, wattle trees, roses, geraniums, azaleas, hibiscus and bushes I don't even know the name of. It was a riot of colour and shapes, the textures were incredible. And the birds, there are parrots of all kinds, kookaburras in the mornings, starlings, yellow wrens, and more that I am learning every day.
At least once a day, I take a cuppa out to our swing and just sit... watching this amazing world within a world go by. It's better than meditation and more emotionally balancing than any therapy session could ever be.
Thanks Garden
Kisses
Julie
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Day Four - Beautiful Man
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm Grateful for my beautiful husband, who even after nearly 30 years of marriage, can still make me laugh and when he smiles at me like he's really happy to see me, it still makes my heart skip a beat.
I was thinking the other day (yes, been thinking a lot these days...) that I am nearly 50 years old, and I have fallen in love at least 20 or 30 times in my life - and always with the same man! :) How lucky am I?
So, thanks hubby, you may not be perfect (neither am I), but you are positively the best and most wonderful person I have ever met.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm Grateful for my beautiful husband, who even after nearly 30 years of marriage, can still make me laugh and when he smiles at me like he's really happy to see me, it still makes my heart skip a beat.
I was thinking the other day (yes, been thinking a lot these days...) that I am nearly 50 years old, and I have fallen in love at least 20 or 30 times in my life - and always with the same man! :) How lucky am I?
So, thanks hubby, you may not be perfect (neither am I), but you are positively the best and most wonderful person I have ever met.
Kisses
Julie
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Day Three - Books
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for Books...
I think Charles W. Eliot said it best:
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends;
they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors,
and the most patient of teachers."
Even today, when I am having such a bad day and I found it difficult to find something to be grateful for, what did I do? I rushed to my bookshelf for inspiration, and there they were, my comrades, my sensei(s) the balm for my soul and I realised how much a part of my life my books have been.
Thinking about it though, I realise that I have tended to read the same type of books for quite a few years now, making it all a bit same same.No challenges, nothing to inspire me.
Ok, so what am I going to do about it? Definitely change my habits, buy/borrow some books that reflect my new philosophy, learn something new, mix things up a bit. Definitely. I am so looking forward to hearing from anyone with suggestions on new things to read!
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for Books...
I think Charles W. Eliot said it best:
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends;
they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors,
and the most patient of teachers."
Even today, when I am having such a bad day and I found it difficult to find something to be grateful for, what did I do? I rushed to my bookshelf for inspiration, and there they were, my comrades, my sensei(s) the balm for my soul and I realised how much a part of my life my books have been.
Thinking about it though, I realise that I have tended to read the same type of books for quite a few years now, making it all a bit same same.No challenges, nothing to inspire me.
Ok, so what am I going to do about it? Definitely change my habits, buy/borrow some books that reflect my new philosophy, learn something new, mix things up a bit. Definitely. I am so looking forward to hearing from anyone with suggestions on new things to read!
Kisses
Julie
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day Two - Dreams
Today I'm Grateful for:-
Today I'm grateful for my Dreams...
Our dreams are our hopes and aspirations put into goal form, and without dreams, our souls would wither and die away.
One of the things I have learnt is that Dreams change over time, and that it's ok for that to happen. After all, we change as we mature, so the dreams of our youth may not be what we need in our lives now.
For so long, I thought that if I didn't achieve a particular goal (or dream) it meant that I had failed in some way, like I wasn't good enough, smart enough, talented enough. As I said in the intro, I have had an ephinany... guess what? I don't have to be perfect! I know, right? So many times in our lives, we think that we have to get everything perfect before we can be accepted by others. This is usually a subconscious expectation, not something we even think about on a daily basis, but it effects the way we see ourselves. If you constantly think that you have failed at something, your self esteem will plummet until you eventually think that you aren't good at anything.
My advice - based on what I am doing for myself - is to redefine your goals. Think about what is important to you NOW... not what you wanted 10 years ago. What makes you happy? Dump the old goals that no longer work for you. Then make new, realistic goals and go for it! Sound simplistic? Yep, it is. I base this on the fact that if you are constantly working on your goals, even just a little bit at a time, IT STILL MEANS YOU ARE MOVING FORWARDS! Not staying stagnant, or worse, backsliding into a downward spiral.
So yes, I am so thankful and grateful for my Dreams, and no matter what my age, health condition or disposition, I intend to move forwards and achieve my new Dreams.
Kisses
Julie
Today I'm grateful for my Dreams...
Our dreams are our hopes and aspirations put into goal form, and without dreams, our souls would wither and die away.
One of the things I have learnt is that Dreams change over time, and that it's ok for that to happen. After all, we change as we mature, so the dreams of our youth may not be what we need in our lives now.
For so long, I thought that if I didn't achieve a particular goal (or dream) it meant that I had failed in some way, like I wasn't good enough, smart enough, talented enough. As I said in the intro, I have had an ephinany... guess what? I don't have to be perfect! I know, right? So many times in our lives, we think that we have to get everything perfect before we can be accepted by others. This is usually a subconscious expectation, not something we even think about on a daily basis, but it effects the way we see ourselves. If you constantly think that you have failed at something, your self esteem will plummet until you eventually think that you aren't good at anything.
My advice - based on what I am doing for myself - is to redefine your goals. Think about what is important to you NOW... not what you wanted 10 years ago. What makes you happy? Dump the old goals that no longer work for you. Then make new, realistic goals and go for it! Sound simplistic? Yep, it is. I base this on the fact that if you are constantly working on your goals, even just a little bit at a time, IT STILL MEANS YOU ARE MOVING FORWARDS! Not staying stagnant, or worse, backsliding into a downward spiral.
So yes, I am so thankful and grateful for my Dreams, and no matter what my age, health condition or disposition, I intend to move forwards and achieve my new Dreams.
Kisses
Julie
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day one - Family and Pushiness
Today I'm Grateful For: -
Today I am grateful for my family's pushiness - No matter how far I drop, they always get right behind me and give me an almighty push up the backside, always telling me that no matter how many times I don't succeed, they are proud of me for always getting back up and trying again - Thank you family... :)
Today I am grateful for my family's pushiness - No matter how far I drop, they always get right behind me and give me an almighty push up the backside, always telling me that no matter how many times I don't succeed, they are proud of me for always getting back up and trying again - Thank you family... :)
Introduction to Julie's 365 day Gratitude Journal
Hi all,
My name is Julie and this is my Gratitude Journal. But first, I understand a bit of background information might be useful so that you can understand how this came about. Believe me, this is not a "look at me, look at me" blog, but rather a way of understanding this particular journey that I have made to get to this point.
The basics are, I am 49 years old, happily married with two amazing daughters and a wonderful son-in-law. If you saw me, you would think that I am just a very average woman, plump to look at, crazy hair and a friendly smile, really quite ordinary.
For the past few years life has thrown some pretty curly challenges my way, car accidents, death of loved ones, illness and injury to myself and my immediate family. Quite a lot if you add them all up. I won't bore you with the details, I will just add that it is a combination of these things that has brought me to this journal. You see, my husband, our two daughters and myself are all living with chronic pain and fatigue conditions, all a little different, and from different causes, but all still trying to cope on a daily basis. And yes people, I know that there are a lot of people out there with much worse to cope with, but let's face it, it doesn't make our pain any less. So, please people, stop telling us to 'build a bridge'! We deal with it as best as we can.
So anyway, last year, I spent so much time being sick, sore and sorry for myself that I felt I couldn't take anymore, but of course, more happenned, and I did cope.. It got me to wondering, what had I given up in order to take care of this condition? Answer - nearly everything I cared about... I had to give up work (because I was too unreliable and in too much pain to do the work), painting, visiting friends and relatives, writing, housework, cooking real meals, gardening, the list is endless. And so I asked myself, - "how is my pain, now that I'm not doing those things, is the pain any better?" Answer - hell no, because now, not only am I still in pain, but I'm depressed because I don't do anything I care about! Hmmm, is this a breakthrough? Yes, yes it is. Because that brought to the next step.
That next step is to find things that I care about, to learn again to be grateful for the little things (and even the big things) in fact ALL things that bring joy, peace and meaning to my life.
Hence the journal. In this I will write (at least) one thing a day to reaffirm what I am grateful for... a different thing each day hopefully, but sometimes I may repeat myself, just for a different reason.
And I thought that if I put it on facebook/blog or similar, it would help me to inspire me to continue to do this daily. I know that most people will be bored sh''''less by my gratitude platitudes, but I also know that there are some beloved people who may like to see that my attitudes and affirmations are getting more positive and that I am mastering my fears and that I am continuing to move forward with my own personal growth.
I would love to hear any feedback or comments, but please try and keep things positive, as that is what this journal is all about.
Kisses
Julie
My name is Julie and this is my Gratitude Journal. But first, I understand a bit of background information might be useful so that you can understand how this came about. Believe me, this is not a "look at me, look at me" blog, but rather a way of understanding this particular journey that I have made to get to this point.
The basics are, I am 49 years old, happily married with two amazing daughters and a wonderful son-in-law. If you saw me, you would think that I am just a very average woman, plump to look at, crazy hair and a friendly smile, really quite ordinary.
For the past few years life has thrown some pretty curly challenges my way, car accidents, death of loved ones, illness and injury to myself and my immediate family. Quite a lot if you add them all up. I won't bore you with the details, I will just add that it is a combination of these things that has brought me to this journal. You see, my husband, our two daughters and myself are all living with chronic pain and fatigue conditions, all a little different, and from different causes, but all still trying to cope on a daily basis. And yes people, I know that there are a lot of people out there with much worse to cope with, but let's face it, it doesn't make our pain any less. So, please people, stop telling us to 'build a bridge'! We deal with it as best as we can.
So anyway, last year, I spent so much time being sick, sore and sorry for myself that I felt I couldn't take anymore, but of course, more happenned, and I did cope.. It got me to wondering, what had I given up in order to take care of this condition? Answer - nearly everything I cared about... I had to give up work (because I was too unreliable and in too much pain to do the work), painting, visiting friends and relatives, writing, housework, cooking real meals, gardening, the list is endless. And so I asked myself, - "how is my pain, now that I'm not doing those things, is the pain any better?" Answer - hell no, because now, not only am I still in pain, but I'm depressed because I don't do anything I care about! Hmmm, is this a breakthrough? Yes, yes it is. Because that brought to the next step.
That next step is to find things that I care about, to learn again to be grateful for the little things (and even the big things) in fact ALL things that bring joy, peace and meaning to my life.
Hence the journal. In this I will write (at least) one thing a day to reaffirm what I am grateful for... a different thing each day hopefully, but sometimes I may repeat myself, just for a different reason.
And I thought that if I put it on facebook/blog or similar, it would help me to inspire me to continue to do this daily. I know that most people will be bored sh''''less by my gratitude platitudes, but I also know that there are some beloved people who may like to see that my attitudes and affirmations are getting more positive and that I am mastering my fears and that I am continuing to move forward with my own personal growth.
I would love to hear any feedback or comments, but please try and keep things positive, as that is what this journal is all about.
Kisses
Julie
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