Day Nineteen - Stubborness

Today I'm Grateful for:-

Today I'm grateful for stubbornness.

The dictionary definition of stubbornness is: adj obstinate; persevering; determined, inflexible.

Whether you call it stubbornness, bullheadedness, being headstrong, or simply bloody minded, my family has it all in abundance!

In one of my earlier blogs, I mentioned that I have learnt (from the new pain clinic) that to change my way of thinking, I needed to question the validity of staying away from things that make the pain worse, because after all, if I didn't do (the activity) then would the pain still be there? And of course, it would. It seems that Hubby has been listening in and has decided to accept the theory as well. As I may have mentioned, he hasn't been too good lately, due to a couple of car accidents and a fall down the stairs at work, he too is in constant, chronic pain and so has curtailed most of the things he enjoys doing, or even the things he needs to do.

After not getting to sleep until the early hours of this morning, I woke at 11am to find Hubby outside, sweat soaked, red-faced, and in agonising pain, doing the gardening. Now, I was pretty angry with him, and after beating my head against a brick wall trying to explain that he had got the whole pain clinic theory incredibly wrong, I couldn't help but admire his tenacity. He just would NOT stop doing what he said he needed to get done.

Our whole family has this incredible propensity for not letting circumstances stop us from finishing a job. We tend to 'push it through', until it is done, or we collapse. It may not be the most intelligent way of doing something, but we are consistent! Since doing the course at the clinic, I have been trying (in vain it seems) to educate the other three as to how to accomplish our goals without injuring ourselves. Lizzie is doing well with it, Jam has taken it to the other extreme (so needs to work out a more efficient approach) and Hubby, well, he has just taken what he thinks he knows and run with it... I have my work cut out for me with him... oh well...

And so, in order for me to find something positive about this particular situation, I need to rethink how I feel about stubbornness. In the past, it has always meant that someone was going to end up hurting, and although that may still be the case, at least I can admire the strength of mind that goes with being able to be so incredibly singleminded. Maybe I can say they are: firm; strong; dogged; or that they are persevering; unremitting; constant. This may give me a different perspective and just appreciate the effort they have gone to, and not only think about the pain they are going to be in. We all hate to see the people we love in pain, but I guess with the situation that we are all in, I need to be less overprotective and help them to overcome their issues the same way they are helping me to overcome my own. Is that tough love, I don't think so, because I'm still going to worry, I just won't show it as much. That will be a good thing for all of us. The one thing I will never, ever say is 'toughen up princess"!! That is a suck of a saying, very derogatory.

The upside to this is that by the end of today, Hubby (with a little help from me) had cleared out the large geranium around the gum tree in front, and weeded two of the rose gardens. It may not seem much to anyone else, but it has already made a huge difference to the aesthetics of the front yard. And made him feel like he has accomplished something useful, and that my dears, is priceless.

So bring on the stubbornness, oops, I mean stoic perserverance. :) 

Kisses

Julie